Gotta Be You

I know how they both feel and now all that’s left to do is to find out how I feel.

And right now, my heart is stuck in the middle of a tug-o-war. Niall pulling hard on one side and Harry pulling just as hard on the other.

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36. Moments

Isla's POV

 

“Isla.”

I finally forced myself to turn around.

Once I did, so many emotions came crashing in as I set my eyes on one of the people I never thought I would see again.

I couldn’t believe it.

He was here.

Louis was standing in front of me, giving me a soft smile, he had his hands in his pockets and he was looking nervously at me.

I didn’t know what to say. A million thoughts and questions were flying around in my head and I didn’t know how to react.

I wanted to break down right here in this spot and then run to Louis and have him hold me in his arms. I wanted to know what it felt like to be safe again. Even though things with me and James were getting better, I couldn’t shake the feeling that being with the people that have always been there for me is what I need now.

But I couldn’t bring myself to just forget everything and come running back to them, there were things that still needed to be mended between us.

And I couldn’t show them how broken I’ve become since I’ve moved here, I couldn’t show them how much I regretted leaving them.

I snapped out of my thoughts and focused on the boy standing in front of me. I couldn’t help but subtly look around and behind him looking for more familiar faces but I saw no one so I brought my eyes back to Louis.

“Louis,” I said, realizing how shaky my voice sounded. I was still in shock and disbelief. I frowned, still not knowing how to react. I should be happy to see him, ecstatic. But I couldn’t seem to be able to.

“How are you?” he asked, taking a small step towards me, looking like he was trying to be careful, like he was worried that I would run away.

I jumped slightly at his movement and when he noticed, he quickly took a step back.

I don’t think he could handle what I’d tell him if I answered his seemingly simple question truthfully and I don’t think he would accept it if I lied and said that I was okay. So I ignored his question and replied with one of my own.

“What are you doing here?”

I could see his pleasant expression falter at how rudely the question came out of my mouth. I didn’t intend for it to come out harsh but somehow, it did. I wasn’t able to say much more so I just waited for his answer.

“I know this is a complete shock for you but…we…we came for you, Isla,” he said with sad eyes. He said nothing more and waited for a response.

Why did they come for me? How did they find me? Why now? Why couldn’t they have come and saved me earlier?

I felt my heart break. I was confused to the point that it hurt. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what I wanted.

In any other circumstance I would go back home in a heart beat but now, after everything that’s happened, I was scared about how things would be if I went home. Surely, things wouldn’t be the same anymore. I ruined every relationship I had with each person I cared about. Harry, Niall, the boys, the girls, even my parents.

It was all because of him.

Today, I saw a completely different side to him that I haven’t seen in a long time. I felt like he cared about me but I was scared that the next time I see him, he wouldn’t be sweet James anymore. He would start abusing me again in every way possible like he’s done for a long time now.

I couldn’t live like that any second longer.

I felt myself start to tear up but I forced myself to stop. I couldn’t show Louis how weak I’ve become.

I looked back up at him and took a deep breath.

“Who’s ‘we’”? I asked. My heart thumped against my chest waiting for his answer and when he smiled, I felt like my heart was going to explode.

“The rest of the boys are here, of course.”

I smiled grew on my face. I honestly couldn’t help it. Once Louis saw my smile, his own smile grew bigger.

“I offered to be the first one to talk to you because I thought that it would be too much for you if…if Niall or Harry came to you first,” he said. Then he gave me his one-of-a-kind smirk, the one that I’ve surely missed. “Plus, I wanted to be the first one to hug you.” He finished his sentence by opening up his arms towards me.

I couldn't help but smile widely as I took big steps to close the distance between us and hug him. A feeling of relief and safety washed over me as Louis wrapped his arms around me tightly and rested his chin on the top of my head. He rubbed my back comfortingly, feeling myself relax in his arms. I closed my eyes, taking in this moment.

I hugged him tighter, afraid that if I let go, I’d lose him again. I heard him chuckle as he pulled back to look at me but still kept me in his arms.

“I think you should save your hugs for the other lads,” he said, smiling down at me.

“It’s just…I missed you so much,” I said. I paused as my thoughts brought me to things I didn’t want to be thinking right now. “Look, I’m sorry for--.”

“Shh, shh,” he said, giving me a sympathetic look, “we can all talk about it later.” He smiled at me. “And I missed you, too.”

I nodded, feeling grateful for his gesture.

“I’ll go get them. They’re probably getting really anxious,” he said. “They’ve been dying to see you since we got here.”

Again, I just nodded, unable to make words come out of my mouth. He let go of me and gave me a comforting smile before turning around and headed up the stairs. The second that Louis let go of me, sadness filled me. I just wanted to be in his arms again. I wanted to feel safe again.

Not one minute later, I heard footsteps running down the stairs. I whipped my head up and set my eyes on a bright-eyed Liam rushing to me. I smiled at him and before I could say something, he engulfed me in one of his warm hugs. I couldn’t help but laugh in his arms; once again, like I did with Louis, I hugged him back tightly.

“Isla! I missed you so much!” he said against my hair. He pulled back and grabbed my arms carefully, observing me. “How are you?” He had sincere worry in his eyes.

But, once again, I realized that it wasn’t the right time to tell them the truth so I just nodded and said, “I’m good, thanks. How about you?”

He closed his eyes, relief washing over his face as he hugged me again.

“I’m wonderful, especially now that I’ve seen you,” he said. My heart ached at his words, I felt so guilty about the trouble that I’ve caused them.

Suddenly, I felt Liam being pulled away from me.

“It’s my turn.”

I looked behind Liam and saw Zayn giving me his lopsided grin before pushing Liam and giving me a hug.

“Isla! It’s so great to see you. You have no idea how much I missed you. And Perrie misses you like crazy!” he said before pulling back and releasing me from his arms.

“Oh yeah, Danielle told me to tell you that she misses you, too. Oh god, she would kill me if she found out I forgot to tell you,” Liam said frantically, his eyes growing big, probably imagining what Danielle would do to him if he did forget. I just laughed, finally feeling comfortable. It felt just like how things were before I left, before when things were still good between us.

“I missed them, too. So much,” I said. Then they both looked at me with sad eyes.

“You didn’t miss me and Zayn?” Liam said, pouting.

I rolled my eyes and giggled. “Of course I missed you two. How could I not miss the two of you always teasing each other even though it’s obvious you guys love each other so much? I’m still surprised you guys aren’t actually in love with each other.”

I saw them put an arm around each other smiling.

“Actually, we are together now. Liam finally confessed his true feelings for me a month ago,” Zayn joked, pretending to look lovingly into Liam’s eyes. “He left Danielle for me. It was such a great feeling.” Liam proceeded to lightly poke Zayn’s nose and giggling.

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the two boys in front of me. Oh, how much I’ve missed seeing these two partners in crime. They laughed along with me before they both pulled me into a group hug.

“It’s so great to see you, Isla,” Zayn said.

“Yeah, we miss your craziness,” Liam said, messing up my hair, “it’s just not the same without you.” I smiled but inside I felt horrible. I felt bad for the trouble I caused when I left.

I was going to apologize again but Liam somehow read my mind and gave me a sympathetic smile, just like Louis did.

“We’ll talk about it later. I think there’s still a couple of other people here that have been dying to see you,” Liam said. Suddenly, he looked over my head behind me.

Zayn and Liam moved away from me and I stood there frozen. I knew who was behind me but I couldn’t seem to make myself move. I looked up at Zayn and Liam and saw them giving me encouraging smiles. I took a deep breath and finally forced myself to turn around.

The second I rested my gaze on the two people I cared about the most in the world, my heart fluttered in my chest and butterflies were going crazy in my stomach.

I couldn’t help but smile as Niall and Harry smiled back at me, standing beside each other. I saw Louis come out from behind them and headed towards me, Zayn and Liam. He gave me a quick hug before he went to join the two other boys behind me.

Once I set my gaze back to Niall and Harry, it felt like a magnet had started pulling me towards them. I reached them and I looked between the two of them, unsure of whom to hug first. Niall and Harry looked at each other and Niall nodded and took a step back.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I wrapped my arms around Harry, feeling his familiar body against mine. Right now, I didn’t think about anything that happened before I left. All I could think about was finally being able to see Harry, feel him hug me, smell his cologne that I almost forgot since I left.

I buried my face into his chest, feeling his rest in my neck. After what felt like eternity, he straightened up to look at me. Surprise filled my features as I saw tears in his eyes; however, it was accompanied with his dimpled smile.

I got lost in his eyes; no words spoken between us, yet it felt like a million things were being said just with us looking into each other’s eyes.

What were things going to be like between us now? Did he still think that we were together? So many things went unanswered when I left.

I opened my mouth, about to say something before he beat me to it.

“I think Niall wants his turn,” he whispered so that I was the only one able to hear. “We can talk later.” He gave me a reassuring smile before gliding his hands off of me and taking a step back. He looked back at Niall, giving him a sincere smile and a nod before turning around and joining the rest of the boys behind us.

I wasn’t sure why but I couldn't seem to look him in the eyes. Therefore, I was looking at the ground when I felt Niall walk up to me. I couldn’t see his face but I could already feel myself getting nervous in his presence.

A few seconds later, he brought his hand up under my chin and he lifted it so I was forced to finally look into his blue eyes. As I looked into them, I could see it filled with happiness but saw a hint of pain.

I couldn’t blame him. I felt like he had it the worst with me forgetting that we were together and then seeing me and Harry together after the accident. Since I left, I forced myself to be angry with him for not telling me but I finally understood how much he must have loved me to be able to do that; to be able to let go of the one you loved and watch them love someone else.

But right now, I didn’t want to feel guilty about what I did. I just wanted to take this moment and spend it with my best friend.

Not wasting anymore time, I wrapped my arms around him and held on like my life depended on it. It was great to be back in the arms of my best friend. He hugged me back tightly as he gave me a kiss on the top of my head.

I just breathed in this moment and combining it with the moments I had with Harry, Zayn, Liam and Harry. I felt it drain me but not in a bad way. It drained me of all of the bad things that have happened to me; the lies, the humiliation, the pain, the abuse, the loneliness, but worst of all, the loss of self. They brought me back from the darkness that was taking over me. I felt safe and happy again.

But it was, all to soon, taken away from me as I heard a door slam.

“What the hell is this, Isla?”

I quickly pulled away at the sound of the voice. The voice that made my skin crawl, the one that made me want to run and hide. But I had nowhere to hide.

I spun around and was now face-to-face with the man who caused me pain in every way possible.

My eyes stayed locked on James’ face as he stared at me with fury in his eyes. He was livid, infuriated as he came for me.

 

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This chapter is dedicated to ChasingTomlinson ! Again! lol your comment was just too funny even though you got James' name wrong ;) but anyways read her fanfic "The Diary of Darcy Styles"!

 

So yeah this means that you can get more than one shoutout so keep commenting!

 

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OMG! SHIZ IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN!

what do you think's going to happen?? lemme know what your guesses are, i love knowing what you guys think

omgggggg

sorry, i had a hard time finding the right title for this chapter, so sorry if it doesn't really fit :/

so yeahh at first i was gonna have Niall or Harry be the one who talked to Isla first but then i realized that if i did, then people would think that that person would be the one that Isla would end up with. so i changed it to Louis. now you guys still won't know who she ends up with muahahahahaha!

lol but yeah please let me know what you think of this part. it was insanely hard for me to write as i didn't want to include things that might make people think that Isla is still in love with Harry or that she has feelings for Niall again. i wanted this chapter to be about Isla seeing the people she cares and loves again, no love issues or anything.

Anyways, continue to write comments and i'll continue to choose the best one to do a shoutout for :) remember, it has to be about the story, specifically about the chapter that i just put up. and DON'T put the name of the movella that you want me to promote in the comment or i won't choose it and i'll delete it. i'll go to your profile and find the name and if i promote the wrong one, just kik me.

kik me livelaughlove47 if you wanna talk about the story or if you just wanna talk about anything, i love talking to you guys.

and follow me on twitter @sheeriostyles

sooo please like and comment! 'Likes' will motivate me to write faster ;)

again thanks for the support :)

love you guys <3

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