Gotta Be You

I know how they both feel and now all that’s left to do is to find out how I feel.

And right now, my heart is stuck in the middle of a tug-o-war. Niall pulling hard on one side and Harry pulling just as hard on the other.

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35. James, Parties & That One Voice

Isla’s POV

 

I was snapped out of my thoughts as I saw my bus approaching. I got up from the bench and entered the bus after stopping in front of me. I paid the fare and walked towards the back of the bus. I took a seat by the window and just stared blankly outside.

After making the first turn, something caught my eye.

A black Range Rover.

My heart skipped a beat and then started thumping against my chest. I stared at it as we slowly approached it.

Could it be…?

I highly doubt it.

But a Range Rover seemed out of place in a small town like this.

Maybe it was just someone visiting or passing by.

I scolded myself for even thinking that it could be Harry or Niall and the rest of the boys. They don’t even know where I am. They would never guess I was here.

However, as we got closer to the black car, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of it. I also couldn’t help feeling hopeful that, somehow, it was them.

But I wasn’t able to find out as the windows of the car were tinted and I wasn’t able to see the people inside.

My heart sunk as we passed by the car. And then I mentally hit myself once I realized that I didn’t take the chance to look at the license plate. I quickly turned around and looked outside of the back window but the car was out of sight.

My heart dropped into my gut as I sunk back into my seat.

I got my hopes up but then I kept trying to convince myself that it would never, in a million years, be who I hoped it would be.

They’ve forgotten about me. I hurt them when I left and I know that they won’t forgive me. I needed time away but then I realized that if I had decided to go home, things wouldn’t be the same anymore. Every relationship I had with each of my friends was permanently damaged, partly with what happened before I left, but mostly now with me leaving them and running away from home without saying goodbye.

I just kept torturing myself with these thoughts so I wouldn’t hop of this bus and look for that black car.

Once the image popped into my head of the possibility of it being them coming for me, I couldn’t help but realize how happy I would be. It would mean that they still care about me, that they still love me. I could escape this dreadful town, which caused me to have an even more dreadful life. I thought I could get away from the madness that was my life before I left but I would take that life in a heartbeat compared to the life I have now. I had no one here. Except James.

But did James really mean something to me?

A huge part of me is saying, “hell no”. He abuses me physically, mentally and emotionally. He wasn’t like that when I met him and when we started going out. He was really sweet to me, he was always there for me, making me smile and laugh. I never thought that I would be able to feel happy again before I met him since I first moved here but he did. That’s why I opened myself up to him, I told him about what had happened, leaving out the parts about being in a relationship with two members of the biggest boy band in the world. I just told him about the car accident and how it had affected my relationship with people, leaving out their names. I told him about how hurt I was when I found out the truth and he was there to comfort me.

Soon enough, he asked me out and it took me two whole days of telling myself that maybe James will be good for me. Maybe he could heal me and make me happy again.

And he did. For about the first two weeks of our relationship. He would take me out on romantic dates, getting to know more about him. I thought I was actually going to be happy again and forget about the heartbreak that I still felt.

But then, he started getting possessive and controlling. He would forbid me from hanging out with Trine and Sophie when they would invite me to go with them. Whenever James and I would go out, he would always have his arm around me and he would get angry when I would talk to other guys. Since I got a new number, he wouldn’t let me give it out to anyone other than my parents. Even then, he would tell me to ignore calls from my parents and telling me to text them that I’m always busy. Even though I had deactivated every social network I had, he forbid me from getting one. And like my situation right now, I had to be home by a certain time, not one second after.

Like I said, he was possessive and controlling.

It was a good thing that I was able to get of work a little bit earlier; therefore, I would be able to get home on time. I was hoping that, with me being home earlier, it will prevent him from getting angry at me again. Last night, when I got home 5 minutes late, was one of the scariest moments of my life. After abusing me, I had made him dinner and we ate in silence. Then he dragged me to the bedroom and we had sex. I have never called it “making love”. I just laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling as he got what he wanted. There was nothing in our relationship that was based on love.

After that, he went to sleep and I laid there, numb throughout my entire body and in my mind. I couldn’t sleep, which had caused me to act like I did today at work.

Before going to work today, I had to apply multiple layers of cover-up to my left eye from where James hit me last night. It had turned purple throughout the night but thankfully, it wasn’t swollen anymore. The huge bruise on my abdomen from where he kicked me was still tender but I was glad that I didn’t break any ribs. I lightly touched the bruise on my abdomen and took in a sharp breath as the pain shot throughout my body. I closed my eyes, trying to prevent tears from forming. Luckily, I was able to as my stop arrived and I trudged out of the bus.

I looked at my watch and saw that I was 15 minutes early. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I walked up to the front door and stopped for a few seconds, recollecting myself before I forced myself into the house.

I walked in and looked around the house for James. My eyes stopped at the living room where I saw him sleeping peacefully on the couch. I approached him quietly and went down on my knees right beside his head.

I observed his peaceful face, surprising myself by how…innocent he looked.

This was what I was falling in love with at the beginning of our relationship, his kindness that was accompanied with his sweet smile. But it was taken away once I found out his other personality, his true self.

However, I couldn't help myself from reaching out and brushing his hair away from his eyes. I made sure that I couldn’t wake him but soon tears formed in my eyes at how much I yearned to have the sweet James back. The one that I thought was my hero, my angel.

I gasped as I saw James’ eyes shoot open and stare at me. For a second, James looked at me the same way he did when he asked me out, with sincere love and passion in his eyes. He brought his hand up to my hand that was still brushing his hair.

For that short moment, I forgot about the horrible things he does to me now and got flashbacks of the beginning of our relationship and I couldn’t help the small smile forming on my face.

But, all to soon, it disappeared as James’ loving glance turned into a scowl and he grabbed my hand and ripped it away from him.

I wiped away the tears and quickly stood up. He stood up right after me and looked at the clock and then turned to me.

“You’re home early,” he droned.

I froze in my spot, not knowing what to expect after those words.

“I…I wanted to get home early so I could spend more time with you,” I said. I know that it was risky to lie but I didn’t want to have another traumatic night tonight. I stood there nervously as he observed my face with a blank expression.

I thought I saw his expression soften a bit but then we were interrupted as we heard a knock on the door.

Once again, bitterness filled his face as he went to open the door.

I was shocked to see Trine standing there. I slowly walked to the door and stood beside James.

Fear filled my body once again as I waited for James’ reaction. Surprisingly, he smiled politely at her. They’ve met before but have not gone past only saying “hello” to each other.

“Hello, Trine, is it?” he asked.

She looked nervous under James’ presence and I couldn’t blame her.

I remember the one time that James visited me at work when I was working with her. He pulled me into the back storage room to talk to me and he got angry with me because he said that he saw me flirting with one of the customers. Of course, I wasn’t but, being his possessive self, he saw it as flirting. He had struck me across the face and as I was trying to register what had happened, I saw the top of someone’s head flash away from the window on the door of the storage room. I didn’t know who it was but my best guess was that it had been Trine, seeing as how no one else had access to this area. But the thing that’s been bothering me since then was whether Trine had seen what had happened. And when her and Sophie had asked me whether today had anything to do with James, it made me think that, yes, Trine had seen and that she had told Sophie about it.

However, my thoughts were interrupted as Trine cleared her throat.

“Yes, nice to see you again, James,” she said politely. “Hi, Isla. Sorry to bother you and I know that we just saw each other at work but - I know it’s last second - but me and Sophie planned a small get-together at her place today and I was wondering if you wanted to come.” She stared at me, worry filling her eyes as she was most likely expecting the same reaction I had last night when they were trying to drag me to the movies.

Of course I wanted to go but I know that James wouldn’t allow me. I was about to decline but then James surprised me with his next words.

“That sounds fun. You should go,” he said, smiling down at me.

I was flustered at first, not believing that those words came out of his mouth.

“I-I…really?” I stuttered. I continued to look at him with a surprised expression.

“Mhmm,” he said, nodding, “it’s been a while since you’ve been out. It’ll be nice.”

A smile was creeping onto my face as I was finally beginning to realize what was happening.

Why was he suddenly being nice? Why was he letting me go? Did what had just happened between us cause this behaviour in him?

“Of course, you’re invited, too, James,” Trine said, snapping me out of my thoughts. We both turned to her and then me and Trine turned to look at James.

“Thank you but I actually have some work to do. Maybe I’ll catch up if I finish early,” he replied. Then he turned to me, “why don’t you get your stuff and you can get ready at Trine’s place. If that’s okay with you?”, turning to Trine again.

“Of course!” she exclaimed, “more girl time.” She smiled, getting a smile in return from James.

James turned to me again and he grabbed my hand lightly. Butterflies started going crazy in my stomach at the gesture, I never thought I’d feel like this with James again.

“Now, hurry,” he said, he grinned, my heart fluttering at his smile, “you don’t want to keep Trine waiting.” I just nodded with a huge smile on my face and I turned to head to my room.

I took three steps before turning around and facing James again. He looked at me with a confused look and scrunched eyebrows before I went on my tiptoes and kissed him.

He was frozen at first, obviously surprised at my action. It’s been a long time since I was the one to initiate a kiss and it obviously came as a shock to him. Soon, he started kissing me back gently, putting his hands on my waist after putting my arms around his neck. I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

Suddenly remembering that Trine was here, I pulled back a bit and stared into his eyes. His eyebrows were still furrowed but soon his expression softened as he stared back at me.

“Thank you,” was all I said before took a step back and turning around to go to my room. My smile was plastered on my face the entire time I was gathering my things. After getting everything I needed, I quickly walked out and walked up to where Trine and James were having a small conversation. They stood up once I got there and we headed to the front door. James opened the door and Trine walked through it.

“I’ll wait for you in the car,” she said to me before turning to James, “it was nice seeing you again. Hope to see you tonight.”

“Yes, I hope I can make it,” he replied with a smile.

Trine turned around and headed to her car.

I turned to James and suddenly I grew nervous again.

Maybe he was just acting nice in front of Trine. But once again he surprised me. He put his arms around my waist, pulling me close.

“Have fun tonight,” he said, putting his forehead against mine. I took a deep breath, taking in the scent of his cologne.

“I wish you could go with me,” I whispered. He smiled at me, sending butterflies to my stomach again.

“I know,” he replied, “I wish I could go, too. But I have a bit of work to do tonight. I promise, if I finish early, I’ll catch up.”

I nodded.

Truthfully, after what had happened today, I wouldn’t mind being with James. I was worried that this would all change tomorrow and I would lose sweet James again.

I wanted him to be like this from now on.

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt his lips brush against mine. I felt tingles throughout my body as I brought my face up to close the distance between our lips. Soon, I was kissing him with so much passion, the first time in a long time. I wanted to make the most out of this moment. He kissed me back with the same amount of passion, not getting enough of each other. I raked my hands through his hair as his hands massaged my waist, pulling my body up to his.

I pulled back to catch my breath, realizing that James was out of breath, too.

This was what I missed. This is what I wanted. What I needed.

“I’ll miss you,” I whispered.

He put his face into the crook of my neck, sending shivers down my spine as I felt his breath against my skin.

“I’ll miss you more,” he whispered back. He started kissing my neck, his hair tickling me causing me to pull back, giggling.

“I should go,” I said, “Trine’s waiting.” He still kept me in his arms.

“She can wait two more minutes,” he said before putting his lips back to my neck. I giggled once again and push him off lightly.

“James,” I said, smiling at him, “I really shouldn’t keep her waiting any longer.”

He frowned at me.

“If you can’t make it tonight, we can continue this again when I come back, I promise,” I said with a sly smirk.

He returned it with one of his before giving me a quick kiss on my lips.

“You better,” he said, teasingly. “Now, go, before I change my mind.”

I laughed as I pulled away from his arms and walked out the door.

“See you later,” I said, waving to him over my shoulder. He waved back and smiled before walking back into the house and closing the door.

This was turning out to be a good day.

 

**

 

I was standing in front of Trine’s mirror, applying the last coat of mascara on my eyelashes. Once I finished, I stepped back and checked my outfit and makeup. I was wearing a loose, sleeveless, baby blue chiffon dress that stopped at mid-thigh. My hair was in loose waves and I just applied some eyeliner and mascara after making sure to cover my bruise with more cover-up. I put on my matching heels and walked out of Trine’s room. She was already ready and was waiting for me in her living room.

It was now 8:45pm and the get-together starts at 9pm. Sophie’s mom let her go home early from work to get ready.

“You look stunning, Isla,” she said once she saw me.

I blushed as a huge smile crept on my face. “Thanks. You, too.”

“Nothing compared to you, gorgeous.” She grabbed her purse and headed to the front door. “Shall we go?”

I nodded as I grabbed my clutch from the kitchen counter before following Trine out of the house.

We got into the car and she drove to Sophie’s place. 15 minutes later, Trine pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. I got out and followed behind her up to the house. Trine just walked in without knocking before calling out for Sophie. There were already quite a bit of people, none of them I recognized or knew. We heard Sophie call back from the kitchen and we headed in that direction.

Once we walked into the kitchen, I could see Sophie running around trying to get everything ready.

“Hey! So glad you could make it? I honestly thought you would ditch again,” she said, rushing up to me to give me a hug. I hugged her back and laughed.

“Yeah, I’m surprised he--…I’m surprised I finally had some free time tonight,” I stuttered, quickly recovering from my close slip-up.

She looked at me warily before turning back around to get the food ready.

“Did you need any help?” I asked. Trine was getting the pop and plastic cups and she quickly headed to the living room.

“Yeah, could you put the chips into a bowl and bring them out to the living room?” she asked.

“Sure.”

I grabbed the bags of chips and poured them into the big bowls. Then I picked them up and headed to the living room.

“I’ll be right back,” I called over my shoulder towards Sophie. I could just see her nodding as she was frantically trying to put some sandwiches onto a tray.

I reached the living room and tried to find a spot to put the bowls. There was a table set up in one corner of the room and I walked over to it and placed it beside the pop and plastic cups that Trine had brought over.

Where was she anyways? She wasn’t in the living room.

I was organizing the table, the sound of multiple conversations from the room filling my ears.

But one sound, one voice, made me freeze in my spot. I thought I was hearing things but I knew it was real. The voice had just said my name.

I knew that voice from anywhere. It still haunted me in my dreams and my thoughts even though I forced myself to get rid of it.

I never thought I would hear that voice again.

I could hear my heart beating against my chest.

I still hadn’t moved from my position.

And, once again, I heard the voice saying my name.

“Isla.”

I finally forced myself to turn around.

Once I did, so many emotions came crashing in as I set my eyes on one of the people I never thought I would see again.

I couldn’t believe it.

He was here.

 

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DUN DUN DUN!!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS? It could be ANY one of the boys. Comment your guesses in the comments!

 

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This chapter is dedicated to "Sophie!!" Go read her movella "Cyber Harry"

 

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OMG, it's gonna get intense!

What did you think of James in this chapter?? Do you like him now? Or do you still hate his guts for hurting Isla?

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