Gotta Be You

I know how they both feel and now all that’s left to do is to find out how I feel.

And right now, my heart is stuck in the middle of a tug-o-war. Niall pulling hard on one side and Harry pulling just as hard on the other.


17. Hiding True Feelings

Niall’s POV


I took a deep breath and opened the door. I looked into the room and saw Isla on the bed. She looked up at me and smiled. Just seeing her awake and smiling overwhelmed me with happiness, I couldn’t help but smile broadly.

“Isla,” I said, my voice shaky. I closed the door behind me and walked up to Isla’s bed.

“Ni,” she said, “so happy you’re here.” She stuck out her hand at me and I help it. It took me every ounce of my self-control to not hold her in my arms and kiss her; she was finally awake, I should be. I was scared out of my mind that she wouldn’t wake up.

A bit after her and Harry started going out, we had started getting closer, as friends. We would hang out when Harry had interviews or meetings, we would go to movies, eat at Nando’s, and do random things together. Everyone was okay with it, even Harry, because everyone knew that Harry and Isla loved each other and would spend as much time together. But whenever it was just me and Isla, we were inseparable. And right now, that’s how Isla remembers us: just friends. But I’d take that over having her in a coma again.

I started having feelings for her that night at Danielle’s party but I knew that Harry really liked her and I didn’t let myself get in the way. I knew that she liked Harry, too, so I didn’t let anyone know that I that I had feelings for her. As we grew closer, yes, I started seeing her as more of a friend but I could never let the feelings go away.

All of those memories and the emotions I’m feeling right now made my eyes build up with tears. I couldn’t help it and I didn’t want her to see me like this.

“Aw, Ni, don’t cry,” she said, a sad expression on her face, “I’m okay now. You don’t need to worry anymore.”

“I know,” I said, my voice breaking occasionally, “I was just worried that you wouldn’t wake up. It scared me like hell.”

“But I’m awake now,” she said soothingly, “please don’t cry, you know I don’t like seeing you cry.”

I laughed and said, “yeah, I know you don’t.”




“Niall?” I heard Isla call from outside my bedroom door. I know that I wouldn’t be able to hide the fact that I was crying so I called her in.

Once she saw me, she quickly walked up to me and sat down, putting her arms around me.

“What happened?” she asked worriedly.

“Nothing,” I said.

“It’s not nothing, Niall. What is it?”

It’s not that big of a deal,” I replied.

“Niall. Tell me now or I’ll be mad at you forever. Well, not forever. But for the rest of the day.”

I chuckled slightly and sniffled. “Alright. It’s just…I read some rude tweets about me and…it made me upset. They were saying that I shouldn’t be in the band, that I’m a horrible singer and other things.”

“Aw, Niall,” she said, she starting rubbing my back. “Don't let those things get to you. You have millions of fans that love you for who you are. You are amazing, you’re an amazing singer and you are a part of One Direction as much as anyone in the band is. One Direction wouldn’t be One Direction without you. Don’t let a couple of stupid pricks make you think otherwise. Those people are either just wanting attention and have nothing better to do with their lives or it’s that stupid twit PlasticBieber.”

I smiled. “How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?”

“I’m just amazing,” she joked. “But really, don't even think about those horrible people. You have fans who love you. You have four brothers that will always be there for you. And you have me, who will hunt down those haters and give them a piece of my mind.”

I laughed, suddenly feeling a lot better. She was right; I shouldn’t let a few haters get to me. I have people in my life that care for me and will always be there for me. And I have millions of fans who will stick with me to the very end. I was very grateful for that.

“Now tell me who these stupid b*tches are,” she said, “I have a few things to say to them.”

Typical Isla, she was always protective of me, especially when it came to things like this.

I laughed at her. “I’m not telling you, it’ll only make it worse and I don’t want to bring you into it. And I’m over it now.” The haters will only start attacking her too and I don’t want that.

She crossed her arms and said, “fine, but if I see someone tweeting you rude things, I’m gonna have to say something, whether you like it or not.”

I raised my hands up in defeat. “Alright, whatever you want.”

She nodded her head once and said, “Good. Now let’s go eat.” Then she simply turned around and opened the door and waited for me.

Leave it to Isla to make me feel better, with her words. And with food.


~End of flashback~


I took a deep breath to calm myself and finally, I was able to stop crying.

That happened a few times more later on and every time she would do the same, she was protective of me.

And I was to her too, she would get rude tweets too, saying that she didn’t deserve to be friends with us, that she was just using us and she would get a little upset. But she was a strong girl and didn’t let it get to her but it would still upset me that people would say those things about her. She was amazing. And she just wanted the fans to accept her.

“So, how are you?” I asked. We were still holding hands.

“Hm, I’m okay, I’m on a ton of drugs, so I don’t feel anything right now, but, on the whole, I’m feeling pretty good,” she said, “I’m just happy that I got to see all of you here. I don’t know what’d I do if you guys weren’t here.”

“I wouldn’t leave you alone here, never,” I said, smiling at her. She smiled back at me and we just stared at each other.

“I don’t know why, and this might sound weird but…I miss you,” she said, her eyebrows furrowed. “I know that I lost like a year of my memory but I can’t help but feel like things had changed between us during that time. Did something happen?”

Yes, we fell in love.

My heart stopped. Was she starting to remember already? What do I tell her? What I want to tell her is the truth. But I can’t. I can’t risk losing her again. So I just innocently shook my head.

“Nope, we’re still the two weird, crazy kids in the bunch,” I said, laughing. That was what Liam would call me and Isla whenever we we’re together.

She laughed and said, “okay, good.” Suddenly, she groaned.

“Are you okay?” I asked frantically. I looked throughout her body, looking for anything out of the ordinary.

“Yes, I’m fine, Ni,” she said, smiling at me, “I just really want to get out of here.”

I smiled back at her. I know Isla; she would rather be doing anything than lying in a hospital bed.

“You’ll get out soon, once you’re all better,” I said.

“But I am better,” she said, pouting at me.

“I know you are but the doctor just wants to make sure that you’re good enough to be walking around again. You got pretty messed up,” I said, looking at all of her injuries.

“I know. Harry told me what happened,” she said. My heartbeat quickened and my eyes opened wide.

“He told you?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said, “he told me about the drunk driver that hit me.”

“Oh…” I said, “yeah.” I breathed a sigh of relief. Then we heard a knock on the door. We saw the door open and the doctor came in with Harry following behind.

I glanced out the door and didn’t see anyone else. They must have left.

I looked back and Isla and saw Harry standing on the other side of the bed. Reluctantly, I let go of Isla’s hand, feeling a sudden emptiness once I did.

“Hello, Isla,” the doctor said, “I’m back with the results of the tests and they’re all looking pretty good. You should be getting out within 2 or 3 days. Until then, we want you to rest and heal. You suffered a lot of brain damage so we’re going to have to keep a close eye on that. The nurse will explain to you later about what you should and shouldn’t do from now on until we know for sure that you’re completely healed. Do not do anything strenuous for the first month. It seems like you have a lot of helping hands so I know you shouldn’t have a problem with that. While you’re here at the hospital, you can try to start walking, short walks, and then take longer ones once you have enough strength. If everything turns out well, you’ll be able to leave in a couple of days. Okay?”

Isla nodded.

“Do you have any questions?” he asked.

“Not right now but I will let you know if I do,” she said.

“Alright,” the doctor said, “take it easy, okay? I’ll be back later to check up on you.”

We said goodbye to the doctor and he left the room.

“Promise me at least one of you will stay with me while I’m here,” she said worriedly, “I’ll be so bored without you guys.”

“Of course,” Harry said, smiling at her. She reached out and grabbed his hand and pulled him down onto the bed so he could sit beside her and she wrapped her arms around his waist.

I felt my heart break. I looked up at Harry and saw him looking at me uncomfortably. He mouthed ‘I’m sorry’. I just shrugged my shoulders.

I cleared my throat and said, “I have to go but I’ll be back later.”

“Okay, bye, Ni,” she said, looking at me, “thanks for coming to see me.” She smiled at me and my heart broke even more.

“Bye, Isla,” I said. I turned towards the door and headed out.

I heard Harry behind me say to Isla, “I’ll be right back.”

Once I got out into the hallway, I heard Harry jogging up to me.

“Niall,” he said. I stopped and turned around. I tried to keep my emotions in check; I didn’t want him to see how heartbroken I was right now.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I replied, “I just want her to be better.” But if I could have it my way, I’d be the one in her room holding her, making her feel safe.

He nodded at me and said, “I know this is extremely hard for you but just know that I am not going to do anything that will hurt you even more. I am only doing this to make her better. If we could, I’d tell her the truth, so you could be in there with her. I feel absolutely horrible having to do this.”

I looked at him carefully and he seemed sincere. I was just glad that Isla had someone to make her feel better; I just really wished it was me.

“I know,” I said, “we’ll just take it one day at a time. But just remember that after a month, we will tell her the truth. The reason isn’t that I want to tell her in the hopes that we’ll be back together or that she’ll love me again. I just think that she has the right to know. And we’re the only ones that can help her remember.”

“I understand,” he said, “ I really do. I just hope that things will be okay with the two of us.”

“They are,” I said, giving him a small smile, “I know that you’d do the same for me if we switched places.”

He nodded at me and a silence fell between us.

“Anyways, I should go,” I said. “I just realized that we somehow need to get all of Isla’s stuff out of our--my place. She’s gonna wonder why it’s at my place. I’ll pack it all up and me and the rest of the boys will bring it to your place.”

“You don’t have to,” he said, “I mean, we can just tell her that she moved in with you cause there’s more space.”

I shook my head. “No, it’ll just confuse her or make her wonder why. It’ll be better if she stays with you.”

He just nodded his head. “I’ll come help you guys and ask the girls to keep her entertained,” he said.

“Sure,” I said, “we’ll call you.”

“Alright,” he said, “see you later, mate.”

“See ya.”

With that, I turned around and walked towards the exit.

Away from Harry.

Away from the girl that I love more than anything in the world.




Awwwww poor Niall! :( i hate having to write depressing parts with Niall but it will be happy again soon...ish.

Anyways, lemme know what you thought of this part. I don't really know if it's good :S

So a few of you have started to talk to me on kik, that's so nice of you guys. you guys are really sweet :) and for everyone else, don't hesitate to talk to me, i promise i'm not scary :P haha kik is livelaughlove47

thank you guys for reading and liking :) and commenting too, i love reading your guys' comments and i try to reply to all of them :)

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