Gotta Be You

I know how they both feel and now all that’s left to do is to find out how I feel.

And right now, my heart is stuck in the middle of a tug-o-war. Niall pulling hard on one side and Harry pulling just as hard on the other.

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30. Come Find Me

Isla’s POV

 

We had finally reached my house and I nervously took out my keys from my bag and unlocked the door. I pushed it open and James continued to support me into the house and towards the couch in the living room. He sat me down carefully and lifted my sprained ankle to support it on top of a throw pillow he grabbed from beside me.

I observed his face the entire time which had a mixture of concentration and worry on it. I quickly looked away once his gaze moved to the face.

“You alright?” he asked, crouching down and fixing the pillow.

I simply nodded, still feeling uncomfortable with how much James seems to be worrying about me. I was skeptical but I didn’t want to freak myself out at the same time.

“Where’s your kitchen?” he asked.

I cleared my throat and pointed towards the door behind me. “Through that door.”

“And your first aid kit?

“Under the sink in the kitchen.”

“Alright, I’ll be back.” He stood up and walked towards the kitchen. I heard some scuffling and the water running until he came back with the first aid kit, a basin of water and a clean rag. He placed it on the coffee table and sat down on the side with my bleeding elbow.

I started to lean forward to grab the towel but he stopped me and softly pushed me back to the couch.

“I’ll do it,” he said carefully. Without another word, he grabbed the towel, soaked it in the water and then proceeded to clean my elbow. He cleaned around the wound first, getting all of the dried blood off.

I winced as he placed the now cold towel on the wound.

“I’m sorry,” he said, worry on his face once again.

“It’s alright,” I whispered.

He got most of the dried blood off so he opened the first aid kit and got out the rubbing alcohol. He poured some on a piece of gauze and moved it up to my elbow.

He looked at me and said, “This might sting a little bit.”

I simply nodded, not knowing what to say. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the pain. I took in a sharp breath and squeeze my eyes and my hands as I felt the harsh sting of the alcohol coming in contact with the wound. My eyes started to water with the pain but soon it died down and it was just a tingling sensation. I slowly opened my eyes and watched him as he taped another piece of gauze over the wound.

“There you go,” he said, looking up at me, “is it alright?”

I observed his work and then looked up at him, “Yes, thank you.”

He smiled back at me.

“Now, about your ankle, I don’t think it’s broken but you should rest it for the night and see how it is in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Um..did-did you need me to help you up to your room?”

“No, no, I’ll be fine,” I replied, “it was starting to feel better on our way here. I’ll be fine.”

He observed me for a few seconds before nodding.

“Alright. Then, if there’s nothing else, I guess I’ll get out of your hair,” he said while standing up.

I slowly took my foot off of the table and tried standing up. He held his hand out to me but I politely waved it away. I was able to stand up and I tried walking on it. It didn’t hurt as much as it did before, which is a good sign.

“Um…I’ll walk you out,” I stuttered.

He walked ahead of me towards the door while I limped after him. He stopped at the door and turned to face me.

“You sure you’ll be okay?” he asked me.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I replied with a smile, “thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, smiling back at me.

I looked down and suddenly got nervous. I cleared my throat.

“Look, about…what happened. I--”

“You don’t have to explain it right now, I know you’re dealing with a lot and I just want you to forget about it right now and get some sleep,” he interrupted.

I nodded, still not looking at him. A part of me was relieved that I didn’t have to explain to him why I had just tried to kill myself. But another part of me wanted to confide in him and tell him everything that has happened to me since I moved here. It’s been bottled up and I needed to get it off of my shoulders. But could I really allow myself to open up to him. To anyone. I came here to get away from my old life and I couldn’t risk getting vulnerable again and getting hurt. I didn’t know what to do.

“Maybe you can talk to me about it some other time, maybe…over coffee?” he said.

I whipped my head up at him and didn’t see one ounce of nervousness in his face. Was he being genuine? Does he really want to know about my messed up life? Do I have it in me to trust him with my secrets and my past? I didn’t know what to do. But I know that if I don’t talk to someone soon, I might end up attempting to take my life again. So I made a decision.

“Umm…sure,” I replied, “that’d be great. I definitely think I need to talk to someone about it.”

“Of course,” he said. He pulled out his phone and clicked a few things before handing it over to me, “Here, put in your phone number and I’ll let you know when I’m free.”

I took the phone and punched in my number. I handed it back to him and he continued to click his screen again before I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I took it out and saw that I got a text message.

It said: “James :)

I put my phone back and smiled up at him.

“Alright then. I should go,” he said. He opened the door and stopped and turned his face around.

“I’ll see you around, Isla,” he said with a smile.

“Bye, James.” Smiling back at him.

He turned around again and walked away. I closed the door and leaned my back against the wall. Today was a blur. So many things happened. Some I couldn’t explain. Some I wish would leave my memory forever.

I slowly and carefully walked up to my room and collapsed on my bed, not bothering to change from my work clothes. I was drained and I needed to sleep. But I spent the majority of the night tossing and turning. My thoughts were preventing me from sleeping. All I could see was the train station. The blinding light from the train coming towards me.

James.

And thoughts that I’ve fought to keep hidden in the back of my head.

Niall.

Harry.

Home.

 

**

 

Harry’s POV

I was having another dream of Isla again.

In this dream, I was standing at the altar at a beautiful church, wearing a nice suit. And then a girl in a beautiful white dress with a veil covering their face was walking towards me holding a bouquet of flowers. The figure finally reached the altar and she pulled back the veil over her head.

It was Isla.

And it was the most beautiful that I’ve ever seen Isla. The light around her was enhancing her features, making everything clearer. She smiled up at me and started walking up the steps. I was about to grab her hand when another figure stood in front of me, grabbing her delicate fingers.

I frowned as Isla’s smile grew when she looked up at the mystery man also wearing a suit. I looked around me and saw the rest of the boys sitting in the pews with blank faces. I walked up to them and called for them but they didn’t seem to hear me. I waved my hand in front of their faces, not getting a reaction from any of them. I went up to Niall and looked at his expressionless face. However, after looking carefully, I saw a tear run down his face.

None of them were moving; they were just staring up at Isla and the mystery man. I turned my face towards Isla and walked up to her. I stopped right beside her and reached my hand out. I touched her arm and saw her instantly flinch and look down at my touch. I continued to look at her as tears started to fill my eyes. She slowly looked up at me, our eyes connecting.

“Harry.”

“Isla,” I said, tears running down my face, “I miss you.”

Her smile disappeared as she continued to look at me.

“Isla, come back to me,” I said.

“No,” she said, turning away.

“Please. Please!” I started to beg. “I love you!”

“No, you don't,” she said, still not looking at me. “Niall loved me more than you. He was better than you for everything. You mean nothing to me. I don’t love you anymore.”

Each word was like a stab in the heart. Every word was making everything around me blurry until the scene changed around me.

I was in my backyard, in the same spot that me and Isla were laying down on the day before she left. The night that I held her in my arms sang our song to her.

However, Isla wasn’t beside me. My heart felt empty. I wanted to see her. Even if it was just in my dreams, even if she was saying the most hurtful words to me, I would still long to see her in my dreams.

Without realizing it, I had started to sing our song.

“Settle down with me

Cover me up

Cuddle me in”

My eyes were closed, my hands resting on my chest.

“Lie down with me and hold me in your arms”

And then I felt pressure on my side. I opened my eyes and looked down to see Isla’s face. She was looking up at me with tears in her eyes. Just like that night.

But this time, her face was filled with fear.

“Harry, help me.”

My heart started to beat faster as I wrapped her body closer in my arms.

“What’s wrong?”

“Harry, you have to help me,” she said, tears were flowing down her face rapidly. “Harry, you have to find me!”

“I will, Isla. I will!” I stared at her desperately, feeling helpless as I held her in my arms, not knowing what to do.

“I love you, Harry,” she said. She leaned up and lightly placed her lips on mine. I felt the wetness of her tears falling onto my cheeks. I held her closer, not wanting to let go.

She broke the kiss and looked into my eyes.

“Come find me. I need to come home.”

Suddenly, Isla’s figure started to fade.

“Isla, no! Don’t leave me!” I cried out desperately. I felt my fingers move through air as her figure completely disappeared. I sat up quickly and looked around for Isla.

“Isla. Isla!”

 

~~~~~~~

 

I sat up straight in bed, breathing fast. My heart beating against my chest. I was sweating and I felt hot.

I laid back down on my bed and closed my eyes thinking about what those dreams meant.

They were two completely different dreams. In one dream, she was happy but she was with another man, telling me she didn’t love me, that I meant nothing to her. And the second dream, she was scared, she was crying, telling me that I have to find her. She told me that she loved me and she kissed me.

I brought my fingers up to my lips, feeling her kiss on them.

Whatever these dreams meant, I knew there was one thing that I had to do.

I had to find Isla.

I had to bring her home.

 

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So pleeeeease lemme know what you think of this chapter. I honestly just wrote it as i typed along, hope its good.

Some big things coming up soon. So please like comment and fan :)

I absolutely love reading your comments, they make me smile :)

And to all of you talking to me on kik, you're all so sweet! Thanks.

Thank you again for reading :)

Love ya <3

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