Gotta Be You

I know how they both feel and now all that’s left to do is to find out how I feel.

And right now, my heart is stuck in the middle of a tug-o-war. Niall pulling hard on one side and Harry pulling just as hard on the other.

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45. Butterflies

Isla’s POV

 

I woke up after a long night of tossing and turning and forced myself to get out of bed to prepare for the day. I was already feeling nervous about today but I was also feeling anxious. I will finally be finding out the truth about why everyone kept secrets from me but that made me nervous at the same time because I know that I will feel guilty once again for not hearing them out before I ran away.

I slowly got up and went to the bathroom to freshen up. I could smell El making breakfast from downstairs as I crossed the hallway to get to the bathroom. It was now 9am and everyone was going to meet here at Lou and El’s place at 10.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth before going back to the room that I was staying in and got dressed and put on some makeup and did my hair. After I looked in the mirror and decided that I looked as presentable as I could be, I made my way downstairs to the kitchen.

I entered the kitchen and saw El in front of the stove and Louis setting up the table in the connecting dining room.

“Good morning,” I said. I walked over to the dining room table to help Louis set up the table.

“Good morning, love,” El said, looking at me over her shoulder.

“Did you get a good sleep?” Louis asked.

“Yes, I did,” I lied. I couldn’t tell them the truth or they’d worry about me. I was staying at their house and I didn’t want to complain about not being able to sleep when it wasn’t their fault.

Louis smiled at me before going back to setting up the table. “That’s good. Well, sit down, breakfast is almost ready. We thought we’d make you something special.”

“You guys didn’t have to do all of this for me,” I said. I felt bad that they went to the trouble of making me breakfast. I would’ve settled for a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Louis said. “El never makes me breakfast, so I won’t starve today like I usually do. It’ll be for the both of us.”

“Hey!” El exclaimed before taking a strawberry and chucking it at Louis’ head.

Louis pretended to be hurt and started rubbing his head. “See what I have to deal with. And it’s only morning.”

I laughed as I watched El trudge over and smack Louis in the head once again but this time with the spatula.

“Stop it or I won’t give you any food,” El threatened but you could see the playfulness in her eyes.

“I told you. See, she starves me,” Louis said. El opened her mouth, about to retort to Louis’ comment before Louis quickly gave El a peck on the lips, stopping her words.

“I’m kidding, my love,” Louis said, looking into her eyes with so much love that I had to look away.

I finally looked back after a few moments and saw El looking a little flustered. “You…you better,” she stuttered. They continued to stare at each other before El pulled away from his gaze and went back to the stove.

Louis sat down on the other side of me and got out his phone and started playing with it. A few minutes later, El came over to the table carrying a plate filled with stacks of pancakes in one hand and a bowl of fruit in the other. She placed it on the table and sat down beside Louis.

Louis turned off his phone and put it to the side. “Dig in,” he said, holding out the pancakes to me. I took two pieces and put it on my plate before pouring syrup on it. I cut off a piece and ate it, savouring the rich taste.

“This is delicious, El,” I said, cutting off another piece and putting it in my mouth.

“Thanks, Isla,” she smiled.

Silence filled the room, the only sounds were the clinking of utensils on plates and glasses being put on the table.

“Everyone will be here soon,” Louis said after looking at his phone after getting a text. I simply nodded, my stomach immediately going into knots. I shouldn’t have eaten so much, I was starting to feel sick.

“Don’t be nervous, Isla,” El said. She must’ve noticed how nervous I became because she was looking at me with a knowing look.

“I know,” I said, giving her a small smile. “I just…I feel bad. I should’ve heard you guys out when I found out the truth in the first place. Would’ve saved us all a lot of trouble.” I gave them a weak smile as El reached over the table and grabbed my hand.

“Don’t feel bad,” El said. “We know how you felt when you found out the truth and we don’t blame you for how you reacted. I know I would’ve felt the same way. Just don’t think about it. We’re not putting anything against you. We just want you to know the truth. You deserve to know the truth.” She smiled at me and I smiled back. I was feeling a little bit better but I was still feeling nervous.

We finished eating and I help them clean up. Right as we finished washing the dishes, the doorbell rang.

I started to feel anxious again but I quickly took deep breaths to calm myself down.

“I’ll get it,” Louis said. He walked over to the front door, with me and El following behind. She gave my hand a gentle squeeze before Louis opened the door.

Liam and Danielle walked in. I breathed a small sigh of relief as they came in and greeted everyone.

We all sat down in the living room, making small talk before a knock came on the door. I turned in my seat towards the door and Louis opened the door before Zayn and Perrie walked in. They joined us in the living room and joined in the conversation.

A couple of minutes later, my heartbeat quickened as we heard the doorbell. Louis went to open the door and in walked Niall, with Harry coming in right after him.

I smiled at them as they walked over to us. I stood up and went to hug Niall.

“Hi, Niall,” I said. I put my arms around him and instantly felt the butterflies.

“Hey, Isla,” he said, smiling at me as we pulled away.

He took one step to the side before sitting down on the spot beside mine.

I turned around again and faced Harry before I wrapped my arms around him. I breathed in his cologne and instantly, memories from the past flashed through my mind.

“How are you?” he asked, as we pulled away.

“I’m good, thanks. How about you?” I asked.

“I’m great,” he said. He smiled at me but then I saw a hint of nervousness before he quickly recovered.

I decided to ignore it so I sat down in my spot beside Niall and Harry sat down on my other side.

“Okay, so everyone’s here,” Louis said, looking around the room at everyone. “Um…how should we start?”

Everyone looked at me and I suddenly grew uncomfortable. “Um…uh…I--”

“Maybe we should just go ahead and explain why we kept the truth from you,” El said. I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that El took some of the pressure off of me.

“Um, okay, sounds good,” I said. I sat up straighter in my seat as everyone else looked at each other. Everyone was looking at El but El was looking at Harry and Niall, mentally telling them to explain.

However, Harry and Niall were looking nervous and kept shaking their head.

El groaned before shaking her head and looking at me. “I guess I’m going to tell you,” she said, giving me a small smile.

I didn’t know what to say so I just nodded. I really didn’t care who told me, I just wanted this to be over with.

“Okay,” El said. “So, the reason that we kept the truth from you about you…breaking up with Harry and that you were actually with Niall is that…well, after you went into the coma, the doctors did some tests on you and found out that you damaged your brain really badly. The doctor said that one of the reasons that people go into a coma is that it allows the brain to fully heal. And when you woke up, they found out that you lost some of your memory - around a year to be exact - and they found out that you weren’t fully healed yet. But one of the doctors explained to us that your brain was still in the process of healing and that you shouldn’t be overstimulated. He told us that the smallest things could further damage your brain and that…that there was the possibility that you could go back into a coma…and that you might not be able to wake up anymore.” Tears were forming in El’s eyes but she quickly shook them off as Louis started rubbing her back comfortingly.

“So, the doctor told us that we shouldn’t overwhelm you with too much information,” El continued, “especially with the memories that you lost. And then we found out that the last thing you remember was being with Harry. We told the doctor that you weren’t with Harry anymore and that you were with Niall but he told us that we shouldn’t tell you. He told us that we should just go along with what you remember because you could’ve gotten overwhelmed and further damage your brain. So, that’s why we kept the secret from you. We didn’t want you to go back into a coma with the possibility of you not waking up again. We just wanted you to be healthy again. All of us were hesitant at first because we knew that it was something that we shouldn’t keep from you but we didn’t want to lose you. We only did it because we care about you. We did it because we love you, Isla.”

Silence filled the air as I took in everything El just said. I was looking down at my hands that were rested on my lap. Guilt washed over me and I couldn’t bear to look at anyone.

I took a deep breath as I collected my thoughts. “I'm so sorry,” I said. And almost instantly, tears welled up in my eyes and they quickly fell as I looked up at everyone. “I’m sorry. I should’ve heard you guys out when I first found out. I was being so selfish.” I started sniffling as I furiously wiped the tears from my face.

“Isla, don’t blame yourself for this,” Liam said. “We should’ve told you right when the doctor said you were fine. We wanted to wait another day to tell you because you had just found out that you were fully healed. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s ours.”

“It’s mostly my fault, actually.”

I turned my head towards Harry. I waited for him to continue as he stared down at his hands.

“I was the one that wanted to wait another day to tell you,” he said.

A million emotions washed over me as I heard those words come out of his mouth. Confusion, curiousity…anger?

“Niall actually wanted to tell you right away but I convinced him to wait one more day.”

I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say.

Why did he want to wait another day? Was it because he didn’t want me to find out that I actually broke up with him and that I was actually dating Niall?

He wouldn’t.

Would he?

I looked back at him as guilt and pain washed through his face.

“Don't take it the wrong way, though, Isla,” Niall said. I turned to look at him as he looked back at me. “He wanted to wait another day because he saw how happy you were when you found out that you were okay. He didn’t--well, we didn’t want to ruin the night for you so we both agreed to wait another day.”

All of my negative thoughts were thrown out the window at his words. But still, I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded.

Nobody said anything more as we sat there in silence.

I couldn’t really blame them for keeping the truth from me. After hearing them out, I realized how stubborn and ignorant I was for not trusting them. And I definitely couldn’t blame Harry and Niall after they explained to me why they lied to me, too.

Harry wanted to wait one more day to tell me the truth but I couldn’t be angry with him for that after the difficult time they all went through for a whole month with keeping secrets from me. I had to look at it from their perspectives. I had to see it through their eyes and know that I’d do the same thing for them.

I was pulled away from my thoughts as El spoke. “Do you forgive us?”

I looked up at her and then everyone else in turn. All of them looking at me anxiously, even Louis was looking at me with puppy dog eyes. How could I ever be mad at them?

A smile grew on my lips as I looked around at them again. “Of course, I do.”

Relief washed over their features as they all smiled back at me.

“You know me, I was being stubborn and I should’ve realized that you would never do anything to hurt me,” I said. “I just wish that I could’ve let you guys explain in the first place. But I don’t want to worry about it anymore. It’s all in the past and there’s nothing I can do about it now. I learned from my mistake and all I can do and move forward. But I want to apologize again for not trusting you and for all of the trouble that I caused. What I did was selfish and…I honestly believe that I should be asking for your forgiveness. You did what you did because you cared about me and what I did was horrible. I wish I could take it back. So, what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry and I’m asking you guys to forgive me.”

I looked at them with worried eyes as they all stared back at me looking baffled.

“Isla, you didn’t--”

“Please,” I said, interrupting El. “I need to know that you guys forgive me.”

They all looked at each other before returning their focus onto me.

“Of course, we forgive you, babe,” El said. They all smiled at me, nodding in agreement.

El stood up and walked over to me. “Come here and give me a hug.”

I stood up and wrapped my arms around her.

“I want to get in on this hug, too,” Louis said, walking over to us and putting his arms around the both of us.

“Me, too,” Dani said, getting up and joining the hug.

“Everyone, just come here and join us already!” Louis exclaimed. I laughed as I felt more arms wrapping around me, the hug getting tighter.

I couldn’t help the tears from falling as I smiled and laughed.

“I love you, guys,” I said.

“We love you, too, Isla,” Louis said. “Well, I don’t know about everyone else but you know I love you. Ow!”

“Shut up, Louis,” Liam said, obviously the one who had hit Louis. “If anyone loves Isla, it’s me.”

“I love Isla more!”

“No, I do!”

“I love her more than all of you combined!”

“I thought you loved me!”

“Everyone just shut up and stop ruining the moment!”

“Someone woke up on the wrong bed.”

“It’s ‘on the wrong side of the bed’, you idiot.”

“Okay, okay, we all love each other the same amount as everyone else,” I said as we all pulled apart from the group hug.

“So what’re we going to do today?” Zayn asked. “It’s our last day off before we go back into the studio. We should do something fun today.”

“How about we go bowling and then have dinner and then come back here and just hang out?” Liam suggested.

“That sounds great!” Dani said.

“Okay, well, if everyone’s ready, we can go now,” El said.

“Let’s go then,” Louis said as he headed towards the front door.

We all followed him as we went outside.

“Whoever wants to ride with me and El can ride with us,” Louis said as he got into his car. Liam and Dani got into the car with them.

Harry was standing a few feet away from me and I was about to go up and talk to him since I noticed that he had been really quite since he confessed what he did. He still had guilt written on his face and I wanted to get rid of it. I walked up to him but he quickly walked away and rushed to his car.

I froze in my spot.

“Um, Zayn,” Harry said, “you and Perrie can ride with me if you want.” He got into his car, not bothering to look back.

Hurt rushed through my body. Why was Harry acting this way? I hope he doesn’t think that I’m angry with him for what he did. I thought that I was able to make it clear when I apologized to them.

But why was he ignoring me?

I guess I’d have to talk to him the next chance that I get.

I jumped as Niall came up to me. “I guess you’re stuck with me.” He smiled at me before walking over to his car. I followed behind him and he opened my door for me before I hopped into the passenger’s seat.

I wish I had gone with Louis and El, it would’ve saved me from the nervousness I felt as I rode with Niall. I felt butterflies in my stomach the whole car ride to the bowling alley.

But I also couldn’t stop thinking about Harry.

 

********************************

 

Please comment :) I love knowing what you guys think.

And I've been talking to some of you on kik and twitter and most of you want a sequel but in the POV of who Isla ends up with. So it'd be a continuation for whoever she picks in the end :)

And I've been thinking, I think I'm going to write a completely different fanfic for whoever Isla DOESN'T end up with, I already have a great story idea for him ;)

I'm still going to see if I'm going to write a sequel for Gotta Be You for Isla and whoever she chooses. I have to see if I can come up with a plot that will still make it interesting. So if you want a sequel, comment some suggestions here or kik me :)

My kik is livelaughlove47

Also follow me on twitter @sheeriostyles

And my IG is @sheeriostyles

And I've defeated writer's block and I've thought of how the rest of this fanfic is going to go! Yay! I can tell you now that you'll either love it or hate it :P If I could, I would make everyone happy but sadly, that's impossible with love triangles. Isla can only end up with one.

Anyways, please like, comment, favourite and fan :)

Remember, once I get to 1150 likes, I'll tell you guys what my next fanfic will be about and which boy it is :) It's not about the sequel or for the boy who Isla doesn't end up with. So Louis girls, Liam girls and Zayn girls, start liking! The fanfic will be about one of them :)

So right now, I'm definitely going to write a fanfic about Louis, Liam OR Zayn, a fanfic for the boy that Isla doesn't choose with AND maybe a sequel for who she ends up with in this story.

Thanks for reading!

Love you :) <3

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