Nandos & Waffles

When Wafa meets Niall on a train in England she leaves a lasting impression on the boy. Something about her was just so different, leaving him wanting more. When Niall comes to Canada with his band he meets Wafa at a signing and he couldn't help but ask her out. In no time at all the two are in love but the mistakes Niall makes on the way are hard to forget. At the same time, Zayn and Liam have finally found love for each other but find it hard to share with the rest of the boys. Same with Harry and Louis as they go through the struggle to be in love yet still keep it a secret from not only their best friends, but the rest of the world too.

*DISCLAIMER*
Yes, Ziam and Larry are gay in this fanfiction but I would like to let you know that it is all %100 fake and not real. The boys have suffered a lot of hate for being "gay" so please understand this is just for the storyline and is in not real in any way. Thank you! (: enjoy reading!

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16. Gone

Harry's POV

Louis was lying in the bathtub. He was fully submerged. He wasn’t breathing.  

“Louis!” I screamed louder yanking his body out from the tub. Water splashed onto the bathroom floor but I ignored it and placed Louis onto the floor. “Louis.” I whispered tears now blurring my vision. I closed my eyes. “Don’t leave me Louis, not like this, not now.”  

I pressed my hands against his chest harder and harder each time. No response. “Please Louis.” I breathed trying to hold back the tears that were coming.  

I searched the bathroom floor for my phone and found it sprawled under the sink. Quickly I dialed the emergency number with one hand still pressed against Louis’ chest.   I

heard a hello on the on the other end and answered quickly trying to sound as steady as possible. The woman on the other end said she’d have an ambulance right over. I shut the phone and broke down in more tears. “How could you!” I screamed at the figure lying in front of me.  

I grabbed his lifeless body and pulled it into my arms. “I loved you! How could you leave me!” I screamed louder through the tears. “Louis!” I sobbed harder and harder clutching his face in my hands. “Why did you leave me?!” I wailed louder and louder.

I needed him; I needed him more than he ever needed me. And now, I was sitting here clutching his lifeless body in my arms. His face showed no expression, no happiness, no sadness, just blankness. His eyes shut forever, would I ever be able to see those blue eyes again? Would I ever be able to look into them and say ‘I love you’? I held him closer to my chest crying harder, letting the tears flow not caring of what a mess I looked like.

I wanted to see that smile on his face; I wanted to hear his voice, his laughter. I wanted to hear him call my name; he was the only person in this world that could send butterflies through my stomach my just saying my name.  

The door to Louis’ apartment was kicked open and paramedics rushed in. “Where is he?” They called to one another as they made their way through the living room and into Louis’ bedroom.  

I held Louis tighter in my arms, “I’m not going to let them take you from me.” I whispered to him, “I’m not.”  

The footsteps neared and the paramedics entered the bathroom. “Grab his legs, I’ll grab his arms, the gurney is outside.” she said to her partner.  

“No!” I screamed holding Louis closer to me, “Don’t take him from me!” I kicked the paramedics away and sat on the floor of the bathroom with Louis in my arms. “don’t take him away from me.” I repeated, this time a whisper. A cry. A desperate cry for help.  

A person grabbed me from behind pulling me back but I tightened my grip around Louis’ body, “Please!” I screeched louder, “Don’t let him leave me!” A man loosened my grip around Louis and pulled him away. I cried harder and harder trying to grab Louis back but they carried him out. My vision blurred and I saw nothing but the tears in my eyes. “No.” I whispered, “No.”  

***

He was gone. Louis was dead. He had killed himself. 

I sat in his bedroom, motionless, lifeless. I sat and I cried, the tears just wouldn't stop. 

Louis was gone.

How could he leave like that? With no warning or anything? Did he think he could at least call me one more time and tell me loved me or something? What was I suppose to do? Just go on without him in my life? 

The tears trickled down my face, my breathing was unsteady and my eyes felt sore. 

He was dead.

I kicked open his dresser and pulled out his clothes holding each on of his shirts in my arms. I smelled his shirts, the laundry detergent he used smelled so, so much like Louis. I searched his drawers for the 'Harry ♥ Louis' shirt I had given to Louis. 

I moved over to his closet frantically throwing around his clothes looking for that one shirt. I broke down sobbing onto the ground clutching one of his striped tees in my hands. "You got rid of it didn't you?" I called up at the ceiling. "When I left, you probably burnt the t-shirt, got rid of it." The tears flowed more and more. 

It was my fault. I left him. I left Louis when I shouldn't have. I blamed him for something he didn't need the blame for. How could I do that to him? "I'm sorry Louis!" I sobbed, "I'm sorry I left you." I plunged onto the his bed and buried my face into his pillow. "I'm so fucking sorry." I cried harder. 

The pillow felt weird against my head, like there was something stuffed into it. I reached into the pillow case and pulled out two envelopes. One for the boys, and one for me. I reached in deeper this time, and pulled out a shirt. The shirt I had given to Louis. The 'Harry ♥ Louis' shirt.

Zayn's POV

My head was against Liam's chest, our eyes both red from crying. The news we received this morning was unlike any other. It hurt so deep in our hearts. I'd never thought I'd feel this type of ache, and this type of pain. It was the worst feeling ever.

"Zayn." Liam whispered sniffling. I looked up at him and tried to manage a slight smile, but failed. Instead I grabbed his hand and gave it a light squeeze. "Zayn." Liam said again, "Don't you ever, ever leave me like that." He whispered trying to hold back tears. "I can't risk losing you Zayn, don't okay?" He asked his voice cracking and the crying started all over again.

I held him in my arms pulling him closer towards my chest. "I wont Li." I whispered trying to be the strong one here. "I promise I'll never leave you." I broke down into sobs and let out a weeping sound. "He's gone, how can he be gone?" I whispered trying to stop the crying but it was no use. 

Liam grabbed my face in his hands and pressed his lips gently against mine. "I didn't wanna lose any of you, and now he's just gone. It's just so unreal." I whispered.

"He was broken for so long." Liam whispered. "When Harry left, Louis' whole world was turned upside down, he was mentally dead." 

"So he physically died too?" My voice cracked and the tears came out harder. I hated not being able to stop them. My emotions were too much for me right now. 

He left. He really did just leave. 

What hurt was that I wanted to do the same. It was just a couple days ago, when I tried my suicide attempt. I was thankful now that I had failed, and Liam had come to save me. The hurt and the sadness Louis has left behind is something no one can over come. What if Liam had to go through what Harry is going through right now? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had caused Liam so much pain. 

No matter what you may feel, like you don't belong, like you have no friends, like life sucks so bad you need to leave. Suicide is never, ever the answer. 

Niall's POV

I held Wafa closer to me as I cried. How could Louis just be gone? It was like something I had never ever imagined. The boys were all like family to me, how could one of us just be gone?

Wafa was silent beside me, her eyes swollen, her mascara running. I grabbed her hand and kissed it. "Don't you ever leave me okay?" I whispered kissing her lips. She nodded and I held her in my arms, letting the sadness take us over once again. 

Harry's POV

I pressed the t-shirt to my chest, then to my nose. It smelled of Louis' cologne. 

Slowly, and carefully I tore open the envelope to reveal a white paper with Louis' messy writing scrawled across it. I took a deep breath, and began reading.

Dear Harry or Haz or Hazza or Curly, or boy-I-never -stopped -loving-even -for-a-second,

If you are holding this letter in your hands, I guess it means I'm dead. It's funny to write something like this when your still alive you know? Well no... Okay, well I hope it was you that found the letter, and the t-shirt. Do you know which one I'm talking about? The one that you gave me on our very first anniversary. It was the day you told me you would never stop loving me, and somewhere I hope deep inside you, no matter how much hatred you felt for me exposing us to the world, you do love me. Because I have never once, not even for a second stopped loving you.

I wish I could say this in person, say it to your face. I want to look into your deep hazel-green eyes and tell you how much I love you. I want to hold your face in my hands and run my fingers through your curly hair. But that's kind of hard, because I have no idea where you are, and Simon told me not to contact you. Even if I did contact you, you wouldn't pick up...

Don't hate yourself Harry, I know you have a tendency to do that. This letter is NOT to make you feel bad about anything because you've done nothing wrong. You're perfect Harry. 

I've made so many mistakes in my life, countless idiotic mistakes. I am sorry for all of them. The ones that involved you at least.

The one I am most sorry for, is this one. The suicide. It doesn't involve you in any way other then the fact that I'm not with you anymore, and I have left without saying goodbye.

I don't want you being upset over my suicide Harold. It may seem like the end of the world, but know that I was just a small part of your life, and will always be with you in the memories. If you ask me why I left you, I don't think I could fully answer that, because I am still debating with myself.

Life became something I could't handle anymore. I had lost you, I had pushed away the boys and my family. I just, I didn't want to be here anymore. Selfish. Yes I know.

I never once thought about the consequences I would have once I had killed myself. I'm still trying not to think of them.

Living without you is something I never wanted Harry, I thought dying would be easier. Stupid. Yes I know.

What else could I do if I was alive? So much. Yes I know. 

But my mind has already been made, and somehow no matter how hard I try, I just can't change it. 

You can't and won't  blame yourself for any of this okay? I'm watching over you Harry, I'll be with you if you need me, I'm still here for you. But you can't think of my suicide as your fault because it's not.

I've just had so much going on and well... yeah.

What worries me is that you'll try to commit. You don't love me, I know that. But is it possible that my suicide triggers feelings you thought you'd lost? Don't ruin your life, just because I'm ruining mine Harry. 

This isn't about us, it's about me. 

I want you to continue on living your life, happily, and successfully.

I won't be there in person to see it, but I will be there in spirit.

I love you Harry, and I know this letter isn't enough to make up for what you've lost, if you do feel like you've lost me. I won't ever forgive myself for causing the pain I am causing you right now. I am truly and forever sorry for that Harry,

I love you, I love you, I love you. I will never stop loving you. Even when I'm gone, I will still be loving you. 

Sincerely, yours even though your not mine, Louis.

P.s. Your birthday is coming up... What great timing? Again, I will never be able to forgive myself for what I'm doing. Happy Birthday... I love you.

I threw the letter across the room in frustration and sadness. He really was gone. 

I got up and picked the letter up off the floor. I held it close to my chest and began crying again. I love you Louis, I love you, I love you, I love you. Even if you're gone, I will still be loving you.

The End

(A/N:) Okay, so it's 2AM in Canada right now, I just wrote this in like 2 hours or so and I'm not going to lie, but I cried like crazy writing this. 

It's the end, and I hope, I hope so much that it isn't cheesy because I tried so hard to make it emotional and not horrible. 

I'm sorry Louis is dead, I didn't want to kill any one off but this just kind of fit... Don't hate me please! ://

I'm sorry you had to wait so long for this chapter but again,  I didn't want it to suck

PLEASE, and please I am begging here, Please leave me some feedback. EVERYONE WHO READS THIS PLEASE. because I want to know if I made you guys emotional or not, I want to know If I was able to trigger emotions through my writing so just PLEAASSEE comment? 

THANK YOU to all the lovely comments, and likes and faves I received for this movella, it means the world and I just love you all <3

thanks again and I hope you enjoyed this one <3

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