Remember Me?

Hi, my names Claire. Let me tell you about myself;
I hate rabbits. Rabbits suck. Rabbits are scary and have NO PURPOSE.
Im a cat person. I love cats.
And also im best friends with Harry Styles, we have been neighbors since I we were 5 and he just came back from that tour for that album that I forget the name of...
My brother just moved to America. I dont really miss him...
Im 18 years old, I have waist-long brown hair, big brown eyes, a nice tan, and a crooked smile.
I cant wait to for whats to come now that Harry and the other 6...Is it 6? Oh- Oh 4, yeah, yeah. Now that Harry and the other 4 boys I never met are back, I know its going to be a interesting time.

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24. Changes

OUTFIT: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=58275019

**3 Weeks Later**    

 Every night I still think about them, and every morning I expect to see a text from one of them. I dropped out of school, and I don't think Dylan minds. Correction- I KNOW he doesn't mind. He hates me.  Harry is always in his room. Liam moved into the flat, he still is always upset. Eleanor stays at her own apartment and has started University, while Perrie went to finish up her 12th year. At my collage.  I started a job in the mall, at a juice stand. It's okay...I get to see rich girls gain all the clothes they desire and only buy low-fat, 0 calorie, 0 sugar, and no dairy juice. I tried it once; it was unappetizing.   The police have found no trace of Dani. She's disappeared. It's all too familiar, Adele dying, Jack suddenly vanishing. It's annoying. I still mourn everyday for my dead friends. I push my mum and dad out of my life, the last time we had a really conversation was when I told them about the 3 passing away. It's 6:45, the exact time I have woken up at for the last 3 weeks. I lye in bed, finally gathering enough courage to pull myself together for the day. I have a picture that I took with my phone on Prom night on my desk. We all looked so happy, unaware of what might go on in the hours to come. I realize Im crying by the teardrops that silently fall on the floor. "Oh Louis...Why did you have to die?" I say. I know that when their dead I shouldn't pick the friend I miss greatest, but if it had to be done, Louis was the one I mourned for the most.   

 I walk down stairs, each step I take I feel as if a stone has been added to my feet. The house is silent since my parents are sleeping, so I head outside. The fresh air welcomes me and I aimlessly wander my back yard, thinking about stuff I can't even remember 3 seconds later. I tend to do this sometimes, I call it being bored. My gaze flutters to Harry's house. Anne and Robin have gone to work, which means that Harry must be all alone.  I walk up the steps and enter the ghostly quiet house. I take short breaths as I walk up the creaky stairs. The last time I was here was with all of the boys. I walk up to Harrys door and lean my head against it. I'm now noticing I'm in my tanktop and pajama mini shorts. Soft music plays and I recognize it as Torn, the first song One Direction came up with as a band. I cant here anything else in there, just the music the seems to grow quieter and quieter as I lean in farther. I walk in, Harry is laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, oblivious to everything around him. I lay down next to him on the bed, pulling the duvet up to my chin. "It's hard for me too." I say to him. Harry blinks a few times but I see that he still ignores me, so interested in the patterns the paint made on the ceiling. "They didn't have to leave." I add. I guess he knows that by now. "I lied to Louis. He loved the girl and he best friend slept with her. I can't be considered a friend, Claire. I can't believe your still my friend, your better than me yet you still hang around." He finally says. "But your still my best friend. Accept it." I say, I pull the duvet over my face, signaling that I would be sleeping. Harry put a arm around my waist, and shut his eyes too. He was the same height as me, yet he was bigger. His arm was like the size of my thigh, which freaks me out. I think about the boys again and cant help but sob. Harry's grasp around me tightens and I hear him talking to me, but I can't make out the words. I fell asleep, quickly getting started with my dream.    I was in the fimiliar setting of London. I was holding somebody's hand, but I couldn't see who it was. We walked past the London Eye, stopping to admire it. "This was my favorite place in London." I hear the man say. "Louis?" I ask, I finally turn my head to face whoever was clutching my hand, when suddenly I watched the scenery change to a lake. There were 3 boats in the center of it, floating across the water to where ever the wind would blow them. I recognized Zayn, Louis, and Niall in the boats, their dead bodies pale and fragile just like Adele's. I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see Louis's blue eyes staring deeply into mine. "Louis..." I murmur. His warm goofy smile welcomes me as he pulls me into the woods. Unlike scary stories and normal woods, this one is friendly and makes me happy. "Please come back Lou, I miss you. Harry and El miss you." I plead. He gives me a hug and kisses me on the lips before walking away into the distance. Like the Prom night, I felt his warmth when he kissed me, this time he was dead and simply a illusion that still oddly felt real.     

 I open my eyes. I'm back in Harrys room, still under his one heavy arm. Harry's face looks soft as he sleeps and I only hope he saw Lou in his dream too. That would lighten his spirit. I crawl out from under his armpit and leave him alone to dream in peace. I look at him one last time before I head home. I'm now realizing he is shirtless, which isn't that new to me, Harry has always been strangely proud of his 2 extra nipples, which I first thought made him a girl. Of course I thought that when I was younger, not knowing that Harry in fact didn't have the lady parts. I know that because several times have I either walked in on him changing, walking in on his shower, he answered the door thinking I was just another dude and that it was fine that he was nude- or I had sex with him.  Kidding about that last part. But trust me- The rest were all too real. Harry starts to wake up and I quickly gallop back to my house.      

 Mum and dad sit at the table drinking tea and reading the paper like in films. I scoot into the house,  ignoring them as I walk in. "Claire,  Dylan stopped by while you were gone earlier. He was dropping off the stuff you had in your locker." Dad said. "Is he still here?" "No. He left immediately." he says. Ever since the boys died I didn't really mind my appearance. The first week I never took 1 shower, the 2nd week I only brushed my teeth twice and never put on deodorant, and the 3rd week I just don't put on make up or brush my hair. I walk up to my bedroom, opening the door to see a plastic bag resting on my bed. Inside it has 3 binders, lots of homework I never did, lunch money, pens, notebooks, and some sticky notes. It also has a card. 

DEAR CLAIRE- IM SORRY ABOUT LOUIS, ZAYN, AND NIALL. I KNOW YOUR TAKING THE DEATHS OUT IN A WRONG WAY CAUSE THAT'S JUST HOW YOU DEAL WITH THINGS. SO IM TELLING YOU NOW; IT WAS FATE THAT THEY WERE TO DIE. DON'T HURT YOURSELF CLAIRE, PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU.

   I read the note a few times. Dylan always wrote in capitals so it seemed like a threat, but it's from Dylan so I know he can't do anything harmful except talk loudly. I feel so stupid for dissing him on Prom night, I just lye on my bed and cry. I have done this several times today, all for different reasons.

 

I hear a knock on my door and watch as mum walks in and sits beside me. "The funeral is this Saturday." she rubs small circles in my back and I cry even harder, my whaling being muffled by the pillow my head sat in. I don't want to go to the funeral. I want to stay in this room forever, never speaking to anybody. Ever.   "I know it's hard." She says. It's not just hard- It impossible. Going to the funeral is giving in to their death, accepting it. I won't accept it. "This Saturday...I'll drop you off so be ready." She gives me a kiss on the head and walks out the door.   I sink my head deep into the pillow as far as it shall go. Saturday is 2 days away. I have two days to gain enough strength to comb out my hair, and look nice and put together, to show Louis, Niall, and Zayn that I'm not a reckless girl that crys her days away because they are gone. I'll start with a shower.

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