Underneath

Athelia Queann is living the glamorous life in London as one of the richest people in England. She's a big sensation, and everything the fans thinks she's not. She's manipulative, spoiled, selfish and nothing is never good enough for a star like her. Behind all the glitter and the fake smile, a loneliness is slowly tearing her up inside. But one day a person enters her life and changes everything. Even though Athelia don't want anyone to come this close to her, that one person starts becoming really importnant whether she wants it or not. That person is someone she used to know as Niall Horan from One Direction. Nothing more.

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25. Drowning the pain

Niall.s P.O.V

My head was pounding from the alchohol I had poured in me at the bar earlier that day. My eyes were hurting and a head ache was on it's way. My blood was filled with it and my brain was drowning in it. Way to strong alchohol in excessive amounts. It felt like my heart was beating so fast I couldn't keep up with it at the same it felt like it was so was paralyzed from the alchohol that it was soon going to stop beating. I couldn't think clear. At all. But that was good, because in that way I couldn't think about Athelia and the mistake I had made. The alchohol kept my minds away from Athelia for a little while. It kept some of the pain away.  And even though the alchohol made me feel bad it was never going to make me feel as bad as the thoughts about her. It was like I was drowning my pain in the alchohol. My mind were one big mess. I felt paralyzed and like I was far away from the world in my own blurry world.

It had been two days since she had left me and I hadn't left my apparment or been sober ever since. I had to see her. But I knew that if she wouldn't wanna be with me I couldn't bare loosing her one more time so I was to afraid. I would not survive seeing her leave another time. 

I reached out for the bottle that was standing on the small table next to the couch where I was laying on my back. I tried to fill up the small shot-glass next to the bottle but only a few drops came out. The bottle slipped out of my hand and landed on the floor. I didn't even notice. I placed my hand on the table and pulled myself up in a sitting posision and then I got up. The moment I got up I felt dizzy and like I was going to pass out. 

I staggered towards the minibar in the corner of my livingroom. I desperatly needed more to drown my pain. Everything looked blurry. In the closet I found a random bottle I opened up. I drank directly from the bottle. Three big sips. The liqueur burned in my throat as it found its way down to my stomach.

I was never gonna face the fact that I had actually lost her. 

 

 

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