Remembering Katy Perry

Sixteen year old Maddie has lived a hard life. She also keeps a big secret. When she finds out the boy she met two years ago at a concert is Harry Styles, her life turns to chaos. She has to chose between her brutal, unforgiving past or the new, shining future with her love. It's an easy choice! At least it is until her past comes to haunt her future..


20. Memories

Maddie's Pov 


I whisper his name repeatedly as I sob into Harry's chest, soaking his gray shirt. Why did he have to leave? I miss him so much. He use to hold me like this when I was upset. I would spend hours in his arms, just crying, the weeks after mom died. I still remember everything about him. 

His light brown, curly hair and piercing blue eyes that matched mine exactly. His medium skin tone and 6'2, broad shouldered, body structure. His comforting smell, a mix of axe and old spice. His favorite dark purple hoodie, he bought from our school and wore non-stop. His melodic, smooth voice and rough, warm hands. 

Another sob escapes me as I think back to when we were kids, the stories my mom told me about when I was a baby. Michael wouldn't let anybody hold me for weeks, in fear of them hurting me. The first night I was home, Michael insisted on sleeping on the floor by my crib, and when mom told him no he snuck out during the night and slept next to me. We then shared a room until I was six years old. We were inseparable. When Michael had just turned ten he decided he needed privacy and a separate room. I cried the whole day and that night he had snuck into my room and crawled into my bed, to make sure I was ok. We still shared rooms with each other on Christmas eve and Easter, all the way up until when he left. 

Memories of Christmas mornings flood my brain, but one sticks out. I was seven and he was eleven. I opened all my presents from mom, Ryan, and Santa. I had gotten considerably less than Michael and was pretty upset. It wasn't fair that he had gotten more than me! He seen me crying and ran off for a little while with a few of his new toys. He then came back with six or seven badly wrapped presents and dumped them in front of me. 

"I didn't want to see you cry anymore, so I found more presents for you, Maddie!"

He beamed as he sat next to me, watching me open his gifts for the second time. I had given him a huge hug and we played with the toys all morning. 

I feel my heart ache as the words play over in my head. 

"I didn't want to see you cry anymore"

I let out one last sob as I try and pull myself together. He doesn't want to see me cry, so I won't. The rest of the tears fall on Harry's t-shirt, as my breathing returns to normal. 

"Sorry.." I mumble into his chest. I've cried a lot lately, and it's never fun to deal with a crying girl. 

"Don't be sorry, love. I don't know what I'd do with myself if Gemma just up and left one day. I know you miss him, and I promise you, you'll see Michael again." 

His voice is gentle and sweet as he whispers the words against my hair. I pull away a little bit and quickly wipe my damp, red cheeks. How can he promise that? He's never met my brother, how does he know I'll ever see him again. He must see the confusion on my face, because a small smile creeps on to his lips as he explains. 

"Well, your story's been covered by the news. Your everywhere still. He had to have heard about you some where. And when the news finds out that the girl who was stabbed by psycho step-dad is Harry Styles girlfriend, you'll make world news. You'll be on every magazine cover. He'll see you on there and want to see you on person. If he loves you like I think he does, he'll come see you." 

I let the words soak in. Michael certainly loved me. I was his world and he was mine, still is. My heart beats a little faster at the thought of possibly seeing my brother again. Seeing his warm smile and feeling his strong arms protect me. A smile spreads on my face as I jump up, ignoring the pain in my side. 


I laugh as I shout the words and turn towards Harry. He's wearing a sweet smile and grabs my hand. 

"Your right! I'll get to see my brother again!" 

I nearly scream it at him as I pull him up. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" 

Kaths breathless as she runs through the door, shooting Harry a dirty look which I chose to ignore. 

I reluctantly let go of Harry's hand and run towards Kath, who's looking at me like I'm crazy. 

"Think about it! You know how much he loved me! And he'll see me on the news as the girl who was stabbed or Harry Styles girlfriend" ,she groans at the label, and I continue like it never happened. "and he'll want to see me, Kath! He'll find out where I'm living and call me or text me or come see me or something! I'll get to see him again!" 

Excitement bubbles out of me as I start to jump up and down. Both Harry and Kath grab my shoulder, stopping me from jumping. 

"Your still injured. You can't jump around like a five year old" Kath says coldly. 

Why was she mad? I feel all the excitement drain out of me as I take a look at her. She has her arms crossed against her chest and her lips are in a tight, straight line. Her eyes are colder than ice. 

"He left you. What makes you think he's going to come back now?" she hisses. 

I take a step back and bump into Harry, who sets his hands on my waist. Why is she saying this? Michael loves me, he'll come back. I know he will. Right? He wants to make sure I'm ok and happy, right? 

Tears sting my eyes and I furiously try to blink them away. I'm done crying! I'm so sick of it!

Harrys tightens his grip on my waist as he pulls me closer toward him, so I'm leaning on his body for support. 

"I think it's time you go, Katherine" he says in a tone colder than hers.

I stare at my light purple carpet as I listen to her heavy footsteps fade away down the stairs. Why would she say those things? Her and Michael got along fine. 

I lay my head back on Harry for a moment. His lips brush against my forehead and my heart skips a beat feeling his hot breath. I will never, ever, get used to his kiss. 

I take a deep breath and walk out of his grip, back to the dresser and packing. He sits on the bed and resumes to watch me, not commenting or joking around like before. The atmosphere completely changed in a short twenty minutes. I liked it better before Kath came over. She messed it up, like she always does. 

I throw my last pair of pajama shorts into the over filled suitcase and turn toward Harry. 

"That's it. That's all my clothes. I just need to grab a few photos and stuff and I'll be ready." 

He looks up from his phone, mind still preoccupied with whatever he was looking up and nods. 

"Huh? Oh, okay." 

I walk out of my room and into the hallway, stopping at my favorite picture. It's a family portrait we took right before mom died, but it's not all up tight and proper. It's an extra shot the photographer took. I let my eyes drift around the photo, soaking in every detail, and eventually stop on my mom. 

Her light, honey brown hair is flowing over her white cardigan, which had coordinated with the white tank top I was wearing, the white tie Ryan was wearing, and the white shirt Michael was wearing. She had her arms wrapped around Ryan's neck while staring at Michael and I, and she was simply glowing. Her ocean blue eyes were lite up in a way that could only come from true happiness, and her smile was genuine. 

I gently placed my hand on her and closed my eyes, imagining that she was right here next to me. Imagining her soft arms keeping me safe and protected, and her wise, gently words healing every scar I have. I breath in deeply, seeing if I could still smell the ghost of my mother in the house. Instead of lavender and dove soap, I got cheap after shave and beer. 

I quickly exhaled, disgusted, and ripped the picture off the wall, staring at Ryan in the photo. Fuck you! You did this to me! You single handedly screwed me up and scarred me! You hurt me and used me! 

I feel everything I've kept inside for almost two years start to rise from the pit of my stomach. Sadness. Betrayal. Pain. Fear. Broken trust. Abandonment. Helplessness. Anger. Red, burning, anger. 


I scream at the picture.


I see nothing but Ryan staring at me, with a dumb grin plastered on his face in the photo, mocking me. "I wasn't going to kill you. Oh, no. That'd be to nice. I'm just going to make sure you'll never be your self or trust any one ever again." His wicked smile screams it. 

I take the photo and throw it down the hallway with as much force as I can, screaming, and run into the bathroom. I shut the door and collapse against it, feeling more damn tears run down my cheeks. My hearts beating a lot faster then it should be and my side feels like its going to explode, but I can't focus on anything but Ryan. 

Memories of him hitting and yelling and throwing things at me take over my mind. I relive every painful, terrifying, moment all at once and it knocks the wind out of me. 

"Maddie! Where are you!?" 

I scream at the sound of someones voice. He's coming to get me! He got out of jail and is in the house! I scramble across the floor until I'm curled up in the corner of the bathroom, struggling to breath. 

Black spots could my vision as I frantically reach for something to defend myself against him, with shaking hands. I grab on to something long and hold it out in front of me, not caring what it is. 

He's going to kill me this time. Or worse, just cut me! He's just going to cut me and watch me die! My vision is nearly gone along with my consciousness as I hear the door fly open. 

He's here! This is when I die. Curled up in a bathroom, sobbing like an idiot. I hear the door slam against the wall and lose whatever hold I had onto reality. 
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