Sick Little Games


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14. Twisted Feelings

 

I don’t know what was happening but it felt like someone was jumping on me. I had the biggest headache ever and someone was jumping on me, which was slowly making angrier and agrier by the minute. And for some reasons, this person was also talking really loudly, trying to wake me up, I guess. At first, I thought it could be my mom but at the same time, it was impossible since she left that same morning to go spend the whole week in Chicago for her work. This is when I started to panic a little because… Who the fuck was in my house? I turned my head immediately and met Louis’ eyes. He was sitting on top of me, with a big stupid grin on his face. Oh great. I sighed very loudly and pushed him off me. He fell on his back just beside me on my bed, laughing like an idiot.

“What the fuck are you doing in my house, Louis!? ” I whined, hiding my face with my pillow.

“I know where you guys keep the spare key and also because it’s monday, you idiot. You’re gonna be in deep shit if you don’t show up at school real soon! ” Louis said, like it was the most obvious thing ever. I groaned very loudly and threw my pillow in his face.

“Yeah… And? It’s not like you care anyways… ” I said, getting up and walking towards my bathroom.

“Shut up, you know I care about you. ” Louis said, on a defensive tone. I scoffed and just began to brush my teeth.

“ Are you gonna get ready and come back to school with me or not!? ” Louis screamed, knowing I could barely hear anything with the water running. I splashed water on my face, trying to wash away the very little 2 hours of sleep I had tonight. Let’s say that after he left… I cried for hours and sleeping wasn’t an option at all. I looked at my reflection in the mirror for a minute or two, I had bags under my eyes and I looked completely exhausted. I sighed very loudly and lazily walked back into my bedroom. Louis was still lying on my bed, just looking at me, like he was waiting for me to say something.

“Can you just leave, Louis? I just really want to be alone right now… ” I mumbled, looking down at my feet. He scoffed and laughed a little. I looked up to glare at him. What? Was he mocking me or something?

“ C’mon, get ready and come back to school with me- ” Louis started but I just lost it. I didn’t want to go back to school. I didn’t want to face him. I didn’t want him to see how much last night affected me.

“I’m not going back! Can you just leave!? ” I pratically screamed, my voice shaking a little. Louis’ amused expression suddenly changed to a more worried one. He got up and walked towards me. He didn’t come too close, respecting my personal space I guess.

“There’s something wrong. What is it? ” Louis simply said, looking me in the eyes. I took a deep breath and looked down. I didn’t want to cry infront of him but my eyes were beginning to burn and my thorat was itching a little.

“I’m fine, trust me! I’m okay. ” I said, my voice cracking. A huge silence fell upon us. I know him, I know that face. It’s like he wanted to say something but he wasn’t too sure of how I would react.

“Is it… about Harry? ” Louis finally asked. I gulped very hard, getting goosebumps at the mention of his name.

“Why would you ask that..? Nothing happened- ” I began but got cut off by Louis immediately. I was hoping he didn’t know about last night but of course, I was going to be wrong. As always.

“I know about last night… Harry showed up at my house after… ” Louis said slowly.

“Are you here to lecture me again or..? ” I said, on a defensive tone. I wasn’t in the mood to fight with Louis. I wasn’t in the mood to fight at all to be honest. I was just so tired of… everything. Louis took a step closer to me and said:

“No, I’m not but I do want to know what’s wrong with you!? ” He said, on a desperate tone. He truly seemed to care about what was going on. I was quite surprised actually. Ever since I told him we weren’t friends anymore, I thought he’d just move on with his life and just forget about me basically. Which would be the good thing to do since I’m an horrible friend and… person.

“Nothing is wrong! ” I said, my eyes full of tears. I was hating myself so much in that moment. I didn’t want him to witness this. I didn’t want to cry infront of him. I just didn’t want to.

“Yes, there is! I’m not fucking stupid, Skye! I know there’s something wrong! You’re just too damn stubborn to tell me what it is! You always do that! You never talk about your feelings! ” Louis screamed, a little bit angry. I sighed very loudly. My hands were shaking. I didn’t even know what was going on. It’s like all of these emotions just came crashing down on me at the same time.

“It’s not true… I’m not like that. ” I snapped, my voice shaking a little.

“Then tell me what the fuck is wrong!? ” Louis screamed at me. I flinched at his angry tone.

“Everything is wrong! ” Now it was my time to scream. If Louis wanted me so bad to talk about all of these damn feelings inside me, well, I was going to.

“I’m just so fucking sick of everything! I’m mad because my dad is getting married with that fucking whore! ” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks. Louis’ face changed, like he just understood everything. He knew that the ‘dad subject’ was something really complicated and sensitive for me.

“I’m mad because he’s living in fucking Bristol with her and I never see him. I’m mad because he left me and mom… I’m mad because we were not enough for him. ” I was crying so hard. I was barely even breathing.

“I’m mad because my mom is always gone and I’m always alone. I hate being alone because… I hate myself when I’m alone. ” I had to stop talking for a bit, just to catch my breath. This is when I noticed that Louis was crying too. My heart was literally aching at the sight of my best friend crying because of me.

“ And Harry… I was so mean to him… ” I said, crying more than ever. I was about to spill out more about my feelings when Louis just grabbed me and suddenly, my face collided with his chest. Before I even knew it, he was stroking my hair, whispering in my ear that everything was going to be okay. I don’t know why but it just made me cry even more. I was so glad to be with him. I missed him so much.

- -

We eventually just ended up lying on my bed with me crying my eyes out on Louis’ t-shirt. We stopped talking for a long time. It was just Louis’ stroking my hair and me, crying like there was no tomorrow. It wasn’t even awkward. It was actually just really nice to have someone with me. It was nice to know someone cared. Eventually, I just ran out of tears I guess so I slowly got out of Louis’ embrace.

“Are you alright? ” He slowly whispered. I rubbed my eyes and smiled a little.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine… It’s just, you know, I haven’t cried in years and now I can’t stop for fuck sakes! ” I said, laughing at myself. Louis joined in with me. We laughed for awhile but eventually we just stopped and the silence crashed upon us once again. I looked down at my hands, nervous about something I’ve been dying to ask Louis.

“How was… How was Harry last night when you saw him..? ” I carefully asked. Louis sighed very loudly and moved a little to come sit just right beside me.

“Well, I’m not gonna lie to you, Skye… You kind of broke his heart. ” Louis’ words hit me like a ton of bricks. I burried my face in my hands, silently thanking god I ran out of tears earlier because goddamnit, I was now feeling really emotional again.

“Then why are you here today? I thought you were mad at me for being such a bitch to him… ” I slowly said, turning in his direction.

“I overreacted the first time and… I realized that it’s not really of my business and well, all I know is that I miss you. You’re my best friend, Skye. You’ll always be. ” Louis said, his eyes full of tears. I smiled and hugged him very tightly. We stayed in each other’s arms for awhile. It was so great to have him back.

“What would I do without you, Louis Tomlinson? ” I said, with a lot emotion in my voice. He smiled at me, leaned in and gently kissed me on my forehead. He jumped out of my bed and turned to me.

“C’mon, let’s order a pizza and watch episodes of The Office! ” He said with a huge grin on his face. I didn’t even had the time to say anything that he already pulled out his cellphone and began to order our pizza. I just looked at him and smiled. Thank god for Louis. Thank god for him, still being there for me after everything I’ve done.

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