Two decaf coffees and two extra-large chocolate doughnuts

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  • Published: 8 Aug 2012
  • Updated: 17 Aug 2012
  • Status: Complete
*Winner of the Beatgirl fan fiction competition!*
Everyone loves coffee and extra-large chocolate doughnuts and Amy is no exception to this. From money problems to bonding over decaf coffees, this is one unique story to show how determination and love can change everything. How will Amy cope with the pressure?

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8. Stupid, unpredictable English weather.

I just wanted to be left alone. My heart ached like it had been used as the punch bag for boxers as a piece of training equipment. But it wasn’t broke somehow.

My eyes were roar and my throat was all sore from all the crying I had done last night. I shouldn’t have cried. Crying is showing weakness and I needed to be strong so I could build up my life again. I needed to except that the supposed love of my life wasn’t in love with me and move on. It was the only way forward.

 All the emotions running through my head were sending me crazy. I’d let my guard down and look what had happened. I’d gone out with a guy who was so unbelievably irritating, thoughtless, arrogant and not to mention untrustworthy! But yet somehow he was completely perfect for me, but I wasn’t perfect for him. I just needed time to discover myself. I’m not the same person I thought I was a few months back. I had changed.  The guy I thought I loved turned out to be gay and the worse thing was that he hadn’t even told me about it. He was one of my best friends. We owned a business together and ok fine, the business wasn’t doing so well right now thanks to me ruining it all by not managing our funds properly, but it was still something. We had a bond. Something that was supposed to be unbreakable. I thought I knew Steve inside out but it turns out I didn’t know the half of it. Gay? Seriously? Why hadn’t he told me?

 I’d loved him. I’d loved him since I’d first laid eyes on him at the London’s design college and I’d loved him when we’d debated over whether vintage or punk was in at the moment. I’d loved him when we’d discussed over coffees whether we preferred batman or spiderman. I’d loved his 100 watt smile and the way he laughed. I loved him. But I guess I’d always known deep inside me that there was something different about him. Maybe the fact he was a fashion designer should have given it away, but no, I had to carry on living in my own fantasy world. I’d been so incredibly stupid. But if I’d loved him as much as I thought I did, why did I feel the way I did about Leo? My mind was bubbling with a thousand questions I couldn’t answer.

 I sighed, letting my head fall into my hands and my fingers entwine themselves into my crazy hair. Why had I dyed my hair red? Seriously, why red? I pulled on a coil of it and let it bounce back into place. I’m going to dye it back to brown. Maybe if I dyed it back I could start all over again. A new start, that’s what I desperately needed. Not all was lost. Tomorrow I would take a long shower, dye my hair back and sort things out with Steve. Yeah that’s what I’d do. But first of all I really needed to clear things up with Leo. Then say goodbye.

 “Why me?” I mumbled staring at the table and not into his eyes.

He leant across the table and pulled my chin up so I was looking into his eyes. His eyes were half way between hazel and green this time.

 “…because I’ve never met anyone quite like you before.” He replied.

“I can’t go with you. I have to stay here. I belong here. I need to figure out who I am again and…” I said trying to twist my face away from his hand.

 To my surprise though he held onto my chin and leant forward and gently pressed his lips down on mine. I kissed him back. I kissed him back knowing that this was what I wanted. I wanted to run away with him… but it wasn’t as simple as that. I had responsibilities here and I couldn’t give my heart away again as quickly as I did the last time and the time before. It needed time to repair. I kissed him passionately but gently, my fingertips tracing the skin of his jawbone and faintly touching the thin skin of his eyelids. I was memorising his face with my hands trying to remember every curve, every dimple and every crease. He was the first one to pull back from the kiss. I opened my eyes and sighed. How was I possibly going to be able to tell him goodbye after that kiss?

He dropped his hand from my chin and smiled. “I’ll come back for you.” He reached over and whispered in my ear. “I’ll come back for you once the 18 months are up and hopefully by then you’ll have sorted all your problems out.” He kissed me gently on the neck and then stood up and walked out of the door of the café without even saying goodbye.

 It was pouring down with rain outside. Like the heavens were crying. Stupid, unpredictable English weather. My table was right next to the window in the café. The window had steamed all up and I had to use the corner of my sleeve to wipe the water vapour away so I could take a proper look outside. I squinted to try and see through the window. The pebbles in the street glistened with a thin sheen of rain water and the sound of thunder echoed above. I glanced up and down the street trying to see where Leo had gone. Then I saw him. He was silently walking up the street, almost unrecognisable because of the rain pelting down and his hoody was all sodden and wet, clinging to his strong muscled arms and his tight torso which stuck to his white t-shirt. He had his iPod on; the wires dangling down from his ears and his body swaying in time to the music as he quickened his pace and walked out of sight down the road. I almost started crying again. Was I ever going to see him again? Would he keep his promise?

 My phone started violently vibrating in my pocket. Who was it now? I pulled it out of my pocket and I glanced down at the screen. A small picture of the caller appeared on the screen, her face grinning up at me from my phone’s tiny screen and her eyes wide with excitement. I didn’t feel like smiling right now. I sighed and answered Heather’s call.

 A frantic scared voice buzzed through the telephone line at me, “Would you come over to my place please? Something horrible has happened.” She sobbed her voice breaking. I never heard her like this before. Something unthinkable must have happened.

I clutched the phone to my ear, “Calm down and tell me what’s happened.” I ordered.

“She’s gone! She’s gone and I don’t know what I should do.” She carried on sobbing.

“Who’s gone? What’s wrong Heather? Please tell me what’s wrong so I can help.”

“My mum! She’s died!”

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