Stuck Between Two Daddy's.

Hi. My name is Rylee. I'm not one of those pagent queens, or cheerleaders. I'm not popular, or cute and funny. I'm a loner. I drink, do drugs, have sex, do everything. My therapist says it's to cope with the death of my mother. Does she not know that my mum died when I was 2? I don't remember her. Anyway. I'm not here to tell you my sob story life about how I live with a single dad with 2 younger sisters because their mum left us out of the blue. Oops. Told too much. I forgot to mention one thing about me. I have a boyfriend. His name is Niall Horan. He's a part of the band One Direction. I'm sure you all have heard of them. I'm kind of pregnant. But not with his child. But of another member of the band's... I haven't told either one of them yet. Not sure when I should though. Or if I should even have this baby at all... Abortion sounds better everyday.


22. Hospitals, What A Family Place


  We walked back home and you can guess what happened. Oh yes, Niall got it in. We both fell asleep right after.     Again, I woke up at 3 am, but not because of morning sickness. I woke up in a pile of blood. I turned on the light and it came from me. I woke Niall up and we went straight to the hospital. It was all such a blur. I had blood loss, a significant amount, so I was put in a hospital room to stay in that day. The doctor came in and told me & Niall the news.     I had a miscarriage.      Niall didn't cry, but I couldn't stop. I wanted this baby. I wanted this to take care of with Niall. I knew why he wasn't crying. This wasn't his baby to begin with. But it still hurt me that he didn't feel a bit of remorse for the child who could've been born. Is this what would have happened if the baby had gotten in a bike accident?     "Oh, sorry honey. Can't take him to the hospital, he's not my biological kid." I just want one tear to fall down Niall's face. Just to show he had atleast alittle emotion about this whole thing. I guess I deserve this though, huh? I slept with another man, got pregnant with his child, then I planned to fake it being a different man's child. God, I do deserve to go to Hell. Who wants me? That's why the baby is gone. God knew it wasn't a safe place.     My thoughts got interrupted by Niall whispering in my ear, "We'll try again...". I just shook my head. I can't do this again. I'm only 17. I already had a miscarriage, being 6 weeks pregnant. I can't have a baby. My body can't do it. I'm never having sex again.     The doctor looked at me. "You're scared, aren't you? That if you try to make another baby, it won't happen." I nodded. I guess he gets this alot.      "I'll tell you the facts. You can try to get pregnant again. It may or may not work. If it does work, you may have 1 or 2 miscarriages again. But you can still try. I know right now is a hard time for you... So you probably aren't looking for ways to get pregnant again. But if you are, there's the answers. There is always adoption. Or having another woman carry your child, but it being Niall's sperm and your egg. Maybe your body just can't handle carrying a child. That can happen."     I blocked out the rest of what he said. I don't want to try again. Niall didn't want a kid in the first place, I'm pretty sure. I mean we didn't talk about it, but I doubt he wanted them. I want a baby girl. But not right now. I haven't even gone through college yet. I need to. He's a part of a famous boy band, I'm pretty sure he still is. He doesn't have time to take care of a baby. Maybe this was a sign that we just should not have kids right now, or ever.     I nod to the doctor and by now it's 11 am and I'm ready to go home. I need to get out of this place. Niall hired some cleaners to clean the blood stains out of the bed. He's such a sweetheart. The whole ride home was silent. I had a whole speech I was going to give Niall about not having a kid right now, but it all just went away. I can't remember it at all.      I texted Harry what happened. Who knows what his reaction will be. I lay on the sofa while playing on my phone. I check Twitter. I see Niall's tweet.     "i love my fiance so much, yes i did say fiance. rylee & i r engaged. xx <3     I retweeted it of course. He is so cute. I look over at him and say "I saw your tweet." He smiled at me while eating a sandwich. He asked if I wanted anything to eat, and right now, I think eating would just kill me. I decide to play some games on my phone. A little Temple Run, some Angry Birds, then Niall comes and sits next to me and watches me on the couch.     "Do you want to cancel the trip tomorrow?" Niall asks me.     "No, of course not. I'll be fine tomorrow. In fact, I'm fine right now." I say with a smile.     Niall saw through my smile. "I'm not stupid, Rylee. I know you're upset. I am too."     "Then why don't you show it alittle bit?" I asked quietly.     "Because this wasn't my child to begin with. I understand Harry being upset, and you being upset, and I'm upset because you're upset. But this baby is not a part of me. Which is why if we have kids, I want it to be mine. I'm not sharing you or my baby." Niall says. I understand completely where he's coming from. I felt that way when my stepmum came into my life. I did not want to share my daddy.     "Okay babe... Are you all packed for tomorrow? We gotta get up at 7 to catch the flight at 9." I asked, rubbing his hand with mine.     "Yee, everything's packed. What about you?" he asked watching our hands.     "Yes, I just have to pack my makeup and hair products, which I won't do until tomorrow morning." he nodded.      "I'm gonna hop in the shower." Niall said getting up.     "Okay. Come down when you're done so I can get in too." I said.     "Or you could just join me...?" he said with a wink.      I laughed and threw a pillow at him. "Go."     "The offer is still standing until I get out of that shower." He says while standing on the bottom step.     "Maybe I'll take you up on that offer at the hotel." I smile at him and he runs upstairs to the shower. I listen to the running water and I can hear him singing.     I  wish people knew how beautiful of a singer he really is.
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