An Impossible Love

Mandy met the love of her life, by fate,Harry styles. Everything happened through Skype, will that be the beginning of something real?

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44. Speechless

 

He was looking at me with the most loving eyes, I took a look around me, everything seemed to silenced for seconds in my mind, it was like seeing them moving slow and I could decipher each and everyone’s expressions, Niall was jumping, Liam was clapping, Louis shouting and yelling, Eleanor had the ‘’Aww’’ face, Harry’s sister was almost crying of happiness, aunt Nina choking with the white wine, and Zayn.. I could see him turning around and walking straight to the stairs, then I faced back at Harry’s I was so nervous, I didn’t know what to do, he took out a little box from Tiffany’s, he opened it and said again, ‘’Would you marry me princess?’’ – I couldn’t think straight at all, which made me feel the worst person alive, I was doubting, I was hesitating my love for him, so I said ‘’Yes, of course baby’’ a huge smiled illuminated his happy face, he stood up and kissed me tight, everyone looked so happy, everybody was yelling and celebrating, then was when I realized that I was engaged, 21 and engaged.

 

After tons of hugs from the guests, I had to go and talk to aunt Nina.

‘’Congratulations little bug’’ – she said having a sip of another glass of wine, ‘’thank you i.. I guess’’ – I said stuttering, ‘’Amanda, you can’t do this, don’t play games, you’re engaged now, this is serious, you could ruin someone’s life with your indecisions, you better ease your mind before you make the biggest mistake of your life.’’ – she said firmly, she wasn’t playing around, I knew that was her way of saying she’s worrying, ‘’I’m sorry okay? I’m just a mess, what was I supposed to do? Say no to harry? Saying Oh sweetie I guess we can’t do that now, I have to figure out my feelings for one of your best friends ?? Aunt Nina this is NOT easy for me, I have no idea what’s going on with me, I can’t explain what I feel for Zayn, but it’s definitely something bigger than I thought, cause making me hesitate about something that I have always wanted and with the love of my life, gotta be something more than a crush.’’ – I said almost loosing my grip, ‘’Well girl, you better get things straight before this gets out of control’’ – she added turning around walking to the living room.

 

Glancing at the living room I realized Zayn wasn’t still there, I looked around and remembered when he went upstairs. So i went there, the sensation of being in there remind me of so many things, Harry, kisses, passion, Mike scene, Harry walking away, and now I’m after another boy in the same place. He was sitting in a low wall, playing with his hands and looking down to the city, the sun made his skin glow like some kind of special kind of star, I walked in his direction, I touched softly his right shoulder from the back, he turned around abruptly, ‘’M, what are you doing here?’’ – he asked pretending he was okay, ‘’I think I’m the one that should be asking that, Zayn why you left?’’- he faced down and said, ‘’Mandy i..i ..couldn’t resist being there, witnessing  a moment that I don’t want to see happening.’’ – I was on silence he got me speechless. ‘’I’m not expecting you to say something to change everything, this just hurts me, a lot.’’  -‘’ Za-zayn, I’m sorry..’’ – was all I could say, ‘’You don’t need to be sorry M, I am sorry, I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet

And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now..’’ – he stood up, approached to me, kissed my forehead gently and went downstairs leaving me there by myself, I felt how tears were falling down my eyes, my confusion went high above the sky, the mess I had in my head was big enough to not even know why I was crying, all I knew was, I was hurt, sad, and incomplete, which made me feel worse, I was engaged, with Harry Styles, my boyfriend, my love, my best friend, and it felt like it wasn’t enough, but on the other side, a huge part of me wanted to go after Zayn, and tell him how I felt about him, watching him like that destroyed me, he said he was in love...

 

Zayn’s P.O.V:

 

Everything seemed fine, till he was on his knees, then I simply knew, some kind of fury I couldn’t understand took over me, impotence, sadness and anger ruled me, when he said those words my world crashed in million pieces, in normal circumstances my roll would be the happy best friend, but hypocrisy would destroy me more, watching her speechless at his proposal killed me, she was shut, I knew she was under some kind of psychological pressure, I simply couldn’t stand that anymore, I went upstairs, sat near the pool and started smoking, I managed not to cry, not here, not now, I couldn’t let myself get a crap because of this, I was feeling miserable for loosing someone I never had, it’s ridiculous the fact that I was simply a mess, I took another cigarette and even the taste of it disgusted me, I sat there, with my face in my hands, broken.

 

Minutes later I felt how some soft hand touched my shoulder, when I turned around she was there, she looked worried and sad, I tried to sound normal so I basically asked what was she doing there, craving her kisses.

 **Settle down with me and I'll be your safety you'll be my lady**

 

Staring at her eyes I could feel pain, It drove me insane, I couldn’t stand the fact of her hurting, how I wish I could change things, but everything would ended up ruined, Harry hating me, and probably loosing her too.

 

After some other words I kissed her forehead went downstairs…

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