An Impossible Love

Mandy met the love of her life, by fate,Harry styles. Everything happened through Skype, will that be the beginning of something real?

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61. Miss Dillema

 

Mandy’s P.O.V:

 

I rushed to the bathroom; the anxiety was ruling every part of me, I was so nervous to know if I really was pregnant that just the thought of it made me want to throw up.

 

I threw the keys somewhere in the bedroom, opened the bathroom door and stopped for a minute just to relax, calm down and being able to understand what I was about to do, I had to be aware that my life might change in minutes. I took out of the bag one of the boxes and opened it, I semi read the instructions and proceeded to do the process, I put it in the sink while it was you know, loading? Or I don’t know while the results were getting ready I was doing the process with another one and so on..

 

I had all the sticks in there, I felt like they were staring at me for some reason, I couldn’t believe my eyes, all of them said I was ‘’POSITIVE’’, I didn’t know if I should cry, If I should be happy, if I should call somebody, I literally didn’t know what to do, I was desperate in some kind of way, I didn’t want to tell that to Harry right away, what if he got scared? What if he didn’t want kids?, I leaned my back on the wall and let myself slid to the floor, wrapped my arms around my knees and started crying, I sobbed a couple of times.

 

After 30 minutes of weeping, I took a shower and changed my sad face, if I was sure about something is that I wasn’t going to tell Harry, at least not now. I put my pjs on and went directly to bed, I was looking at the ceiling trying to get into some agreement with myself, ‘’kay so.. What are you going to do now Mandy?’’ – I was going insane there, I’ve always loved kids, I love family, and I always dreamt to have one, but this is not how I planed it, I’m 21 years old, I’m not suppose to be dealing with that, not now, he’s busy with his music universe, thank God he managed things for us to be together and being able to see each other, but..I don’t know how things will turn out to be now on, I feel bad, I feel sad, I feel irresponsible, I feel like I don’t know myself.

 

Thinking about how the whole pregnancy would be, I felt guilty because the baby deserves a happy mom, I don’t want him to feel I don’t love him or want him, this little thing will grow inside of me and just the thought of that gave me chills, but why am I pregnant now? It’s been a while since Harry and I had se-x, my eyes were suddenly wide open, I sat on the bed at the speed of light, ‘’Oh no, oh no, OH NO!!’’ – I almost shouted, ‘’it can’t be possible, oh God no please, no, no no no no’’- then it HIT me, it was like someone put on play that scene again, that night, mistake, passion, lust, sweat, sex.. ZAYN, I couldn’t believe I was in that situation, I felt disgusted about myself, that was not me, how all that happened?, I always used to be the girl that loves, but loves HARD one boy, the girl who always had long lasting relationships, the ‘’hard to get’’, the ‘’heartbreaker’’, I never thought that I ended up being in this kind of situation, and NOW, when everything’s just perfect with Harry and  our relationship’s back where it once used to be.

 

 I was sobbing and sobbing, not only I was pregnant but I didn’t know who was the father of my child, I couldn’t wait any longer, we had to get married as soon as we could, I couldn’t let my belly grow before being married, I had to make everything seem like it was Harry’s no matter what, but still if it were Zayn’s it would be the most selfish thing to do, hiding that from him, I had no right to have his baby and keep that from him..

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