An Impossible Love

Mandy met the love of her life, by fate,Harry styles. Everything happened through Skype, will that be the beginning of something real?

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50. Me, Myself & I.

 

Mandy’s P.O.V:

 

I knocked at his door twice even though I had the keys, I heard some steps from inside getting closer to the door, I bit my lip of impatience, when he suddenly opened the door, he was changed, his face, ‘’It’s you..’’ – he said, dry, but still nice, he was that kind of guy,  he wouldn’t treat me less than that even If I’ve had hurt him.  ‘’You, you look great’’ – I said, he had a haircut, I was amazed by that, I was incredibly surprise by the change, we (the boys and i) have always told him to make some changes, specially his hair, it’s not like I didn’t love it before, but I wanted to see some other kind of look in him. But now, oh wow, I was truly impressed, he looked seriously great, he looked like a man, a grown up man, and seemed like he was spending some time in the gym as well, ‘’Oh the hair? Thank you, I know, it was kind of needing some changes’’ – he replied while making room for me to go inside the apartment.

 

‘’So..’’- I started talking but he immediately stopped me by saying ‘’Don’t worry I already took some of your stuff out and packed them, you can go over the room to check out if there’s any other thing left, I don’t want to make this more awkward or uncomfortable’’, ‘’No.. i.. yeah, you’re right.’’ – I answered. We stood a decent distance away from each other like respecting each other’s spaces. He had his hands in his tight pockets as usual, I was stuck on stupid, just staring at him, and how incredibly good looking he was, I was such an idiot, how did I put myself in this situation?

 

He sat in a high stool in the kitchen, I glanced at him, he was having some crackers with nutella and a glass of white milk, I left him there and went directly to what I was suppose to do in first place, get my stuff and go.

 

The most depressing feeling was the one I got as soon as I stepped inside his room, his smell all over the place, watching his clothes, his perfumes, I sat in his side of the bed the picture he had of us in his night stand was facing down, I won’t lie, it broke my heart, but who am I to fight that, after all I’ve done to him. I stood up and realized that he had a lot of his stuff packed as well in suitcases.

 

‘’Are you done here? Need anything? Some help?’’ –he asked me, I turned around to face him, ‘’Oh no, I’m okay, I was just..saying goodbye I guess..’’ – ‘’I understand..’’ he said facing down, ‘’Well I think I should be going..’’ – ‘’Yeah, sure, let me help you with that’’ – he said refereeing to all of my bags in the floor. ‘’Before I leave, are you going somewhere?’’ – ‘’Somewhere? Oh you mean my suitcases? Well yeah, we’re going on tour, we’ll be in Paris tomorrow’’- he replied.  ‘’That.. sounds great, hope you guys have fun.’’ – ‘’Yeah, I’ll try.’’ – he mumbled, took my bags and helped me to get them all in the elevator, once we were done getting them there, we were standing right in front of each other.. ‘’Guess this is it then..’’ – I said miserably,  he sighed out loud and faced the floor for some long seconds  ‘’Please just let me heal..’’ – he whispered, ‘’Let me get myself together, I need some time on my own..’’ – he added, I nodded in silence, broken in million pieces inside, took some steps back and said goodbye, no body contact at all, no hugging, not even some hand shake, I didn’t want to make this more difficult to him, the least thing I could do, was respecting his decisions.

 

I couldn’t help crying while going downstairs; I couldn’t fight the feeling of loneliness, the feeling of emptiness, and the huge space he left in my heart, all the words I couldn’t tell him. I took my bags with some help of the receptionist man got them inside the trunk of my car, and drove away, there I was, me myself and i.

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