I Should Have Kissed You

What would you do if you were told that you were to live with the boys from One Direction? Sound too good to be true right? WRONG!

Follow the story of 18 year old Jasmine who can't believe her luck when her boyfriend wins her the competition of a lifetime; to meet and stay with her favourite boyband, One Direction, in their complex in London. Turns out that she got more than she bargained for, could heart break strike and a new found love blossom whilst she's away from her friends and family in Australia?

Find out in the new fanfic I Should Have Kissed You :)

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24. "I Can't Stand The Fact That I've Hurt You"

*Jas' POV*

The beach was beautiful. It thankfully wasn't as cold as this morning. Our little driving break at the beach was exactly what we needed. Driving for hours was not as fun as we originally anticipated. Liam and Louis were attempting to surf, only there weren't many waves, Zayn and Harry were jumping around in the water, Niall was making a sandcastle with Zoe and the rest of the girls and I were trying to get a tan. The sun sort of failed us though, it was out but wasn't strong enough for us to tan.

 

The drive to the field was a lot easier, and thankfully no one got lost or got a speeding ticket. The sun was starting to set as we parked our cars under the trees. I had absolutely no experience putting up the tents, us girls thought it would be best if we tried to get the fire going and leave the tent work to the guys.

 

I looked over my shoulder to see how the guys were doing. Liam's tent was up standing, then I looked over to where Harry and I were meant to be sleeping and it was nowhere near finished. Niall decided to help Harry figuring that team work would get the task done quicker, only they looked more confused as they were studying Liam's every move as he finished putting together his tent. If our tent wasn't up soon I was considering sleeping in the car. Like I said, nature and I are not a great mix.

 

The sun was completely set now, the sky was filled with stars. It looked like the scenery had been taken out of a photo it looked that amazing. The smell of burning wood filled the air. I loved that smell. It reminded me of the outdoor fireplace at my granddad's house; when I was younger I used to sit on his lap in front the fire as he taught me how to roast the perfect marshmallow, I still haven't even got it right to this day. He would always trade with me taking my burnt marshmallow and giving me his. Everything about the campfire we made reminded me of grandad. I wish he was still with us. He would have loved Harry and my friends.

 

As the night went on we sat around the fire trying to keep warm in the cold field. Zoe sat in between Niall's legs as he held the guitar in front of Zoe teaching her how to play it. Perrie, Eleanor and Harry sat together talking about something they saw on the drive up to the field, Harry was trying to convince the girls it was nothing but they thought otherwise. Liam and Danielle had gone to get more firewood, Zayn and Louis were nowhere to be seen although I heard Louis briefly talk about fireworks a couple of hours ago. I dunno, Zayn and Louis worried me a little bit with all their scheming and tricks but it was actually pretty funny when half of their plots failed even when they were so sure it would work. I was lying down in my tent looking at photos of Harry and I. My favourite photo of us was from this one time we went to a party for one of Harry's old school friends. In the photo he held me from behind, I was laughing at something he said and Harry was just looking at me. The expression on his face though, was enough to make my heart melt. It was 'the look'. Looking at the photo longer and longer made me realise…

 

"Has anyone seen Jas?" I heard Harry yell from outside the tent.

"She was in the tent the last time I saw her" Liam replied. They must have gotten back from getting the firewood.

I could hear the crunch of the leaves and twigs as Harry's steps became louder when he approached the tent.

"There you are" he said relieved. And there it was, 'the look'. "Why aren't you out there? It's not that cold once you get closer to the fire" he laughed.

"Not really feeling it." was all I managed to say.

Harry laid next to me in the tent intertwining his fingers in mine.
"or we could stay here" Harry whispered quietly before he leant in for a kiss. It was soft at first, but became more urgent as we kissed longer. Before I knew it his hand was grazing up my thigh. I pushed his hand away gently.

"Harry…we can't… do this here." I said between the kisses. "our friends are literally a few metres away from us"

"You're probably right" Harry said as he lay back down next to me, back to the way we were before our little make out session.

 

We ended up talking for a couple of hours; Harry mentioned that he was planning on taking me on tour with the boys again. My phone buzzed, the light from the phone brightening up our tent. It was a message from Eleanor.

 

           We have marshmallows out here, you snooze you lose :)

 

I read out the message to Harry and he shouted from where he was

"Have fun with only one bag!"

I looked at him confused. He pulled out from underneath his pillow a squashed bag of marshmallows.

"Looks like they lost" he laughed.

I put my phone down in between our pillows. Harry started to say something when my phone buzzed again. Harry picked up my phone as it was closer to him.

"What does Eleanor want now?" I giggled.

His expression changed and his face went pale as he read the message quietly.

"What is it babe?" I asked him.

"You kissed him?"

"What?" I said grabbing the phone from his hand. I read the message that filled the screen.

 

           I don't regret seeing you the other night. I want you back so bad Jas. You can't tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed. I'm sorry for treating you that way and I should have never cheated on you. Please think about it and call me. We can get our life back the way it was. Caleb x

 

"I was going to tell you Harry! I didn't want to say in front of the others that night"

"We have had plenty of time alone since we got here, you didn't think of telling me at all?" His voice was raising as he sat up.

"Harry please. I pushed him away the second the kissed me. I even slapped him across the face."

He kind of settled after I told him that. He almost looked proud that I hit him.

What I had been thinking was completely crazy. But Zoe was right. Caleb was not good for me anymore. We were over and it was going to stay that way.

We laid back down and I explained to Harry fully what had happened, he looked upset.

"This is what I was dreading" I said quietly studying the expression on his face. "I can't stand the fact that I've hurt you. I understand if you're angry with me"

 

"I'm not angry" Harry said bluntly. "Just tell me now, there is no feelings whatsoever between you?"

 

"I promise there's nothing. You're all I ever wanted Harry and I was stupid to think for a split second that I'd be better off without you"

 

"I'm scared to lose you Jas. I don't want to lose you ever" he blurted out looking down fiddling with his fingers.

 

He was at the most vulnerable state I've ever seen him. I don't think we've ever talked like this before. He had said a lot of things to me about how much he cares about me but nothing like this. Harry was always optimistic, fear was never an option when it came to our relationship, only seeing that he was scared to lose me, lose what we have, made me more certain that I wanted to be with Harry more than anything in the world and that I definitely made the right choice that night I broke up with Caleb. There were never any regrets with Harry.

 

"You're never going to lose me" I reassured him. I cuddled into him and kissed him gently on the lips. "I want to be yours forever"

 

Harry sat back up slowly and reached behind his neck. He unclipped the necklace he had around his neck - it was a leather band with a paper plane pendant on it - and put it around my neck.

"I want you to have this" he said as he clipped the necklace together.

"It's beautiful Harry, but I can't it's your favourite necklace" I was completely shocked.

"and you're my favourite girl. Trust me. I wouldn't want it any other way.

 

Harry kissed me softly on the lips.

"I love you" he whispered as his lips hovered over mine.

"I love you too"

"Come on let's go outside" Harry said holding my hand. I nodded and smiled.

 

The others hadn't moved from their spots around the fire and Louis and Zayn were back. I sat down in between Harry's legs, he wrapped his arms around me and I knew that I could stay in his arms forever.

 

*Harry's pov*

Having Jas in my arms just felt right. Telling Jas that I love her became easier and easier each time I said it. At first I was afraid she wouldn't say it back but that moment she did it felt as if a whole weight was lifted off my shoulders. I'm not going to lie, it did hurt hearing Jas tell me every single detail that happened but I knew she had no intention of doing anything to hurt me. Giving her the necklace I wore almost every day was to let her know I'd always be there for her. The fact that it was a paper plane meant a lot to me; I bought it the first time the boys and I toured as One Direction. We knew our life would consist of lots of planes, hotels and being always on the move however it always reminded me how fragile everything is. Once paper is folded or crumpled up, it can never be flattened out to exactly what it was before, and as much as we'd like to think so, we can't just go back to the way it was before we were known; these guys are my brothers, we do everything together and now Jas was part of my life and meant the world to me (dare I say the girls were also becoming like sisters to me). I loved and care for them all, we are a family and nothing gets in between family.

 

 

 

For those wanting to know 'the look', I'm sure you will experience a rush of Harry feels once you click on the links below.

 

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcvelfR7sX1qflq04o2_500.gif

http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/32600000/Harry-styles-El-Hormiguero-2012-one-direction-32640396-1358-1600.jpg

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcvvxjxdjM1re7gbvo2_500.gif

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcwb88KQ9T1rwxmny.gif

 

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