Life's Just One Long Weekend

Hi. I'm Cecilia. I'm 18 years old and I have a best friend named Alyssa. I just call her Lyss for short. She's a few months younger than me, but honestly? She's my rock. My boyfriend of a year and three months, Randy, just broke up with me and she's been there for me when I had no one else. We've been the Terrible Two since the diaper days. Lately, she's been talking NONSTOP about this new boy band One Direction, but when she talks about them I usually just tune her out. 'Cause once she starts, she can't stop. I personally have never seen or heard of those boys. Little did I know, they'd soon change my life forever.


8. Enough



Warning: This chapter is mature. It includes drugs, sex (maybe), and insinuates self harm. (18+ but I'm not your mother.)


            I stood outside for a minute, just taken aback. He was gone. Really gone. I sighed and walked back inside. This whole love (well, like)/hate business had to stop. I was going to drive myself crazy if it kept on. I looked at the clock, it was 9:15. All this and it wasn't even the afternoon. I went back upstairs and climbed back in bed. I still had plenty of time until... Oh God. Niall said he'd take care of picking up Heaven and Gabriel, but now? 

            I reached for my phone and called him and of course it went straight to voice mail. I called two more times getting the same result and decided to give up. Forget it. I'll just go now, I thought to myself. I grabbed a pair of grey denim shorts, a hoodie, and my towel. I went through my underwear drawer, deciding to wear black lace bottoms and its matching lace demi bra. I liked to try and feel sexy at times. Key word: try. 

            I began to undress myself and I took a look in the mirror. Gross, I thought. I turned slightly and looked at my bottom. Too big. My hips? Too wide. My waist? Too wide. My breast? Too large. I hated my body. 

            I looked at my arms and began to take my bracelets off. With each layer that came off, the more lines appeared on my skin. They were barely visible with my bracelets on, but with them off, it was like neon signs on my wrists. They told the story of my life, each representing the bad in my life. My alcoholic mother, the bullying I endured because of her, the attack, whenever Randy hit me, when he left me… 

            I turned on the water and just before I got in, I heard a thump downstairs. This is an old house, I thought to myself, this kind of stuff happens. I stepped in and let the hot water soak my skin; I also tried metaphorically soaking my troubles away. I shaved and washed my body and my hair. I hummed to myself as I washed the conditioner out of my hair. 

            I almost slipped and busted my head open when my bathroom door opened and Niall stood in my bathroom doorway.  

            "I- I'm sorry." He stammered and left the room. I sighed, turned the water off, and wrapped myself in a towel. How’d he get in? I thought to myself. I walked out and Niall was sitting on my bed, looking at his hands.  

            "W-What do you want?" I said quietly, walking over to the other side of my bed so his back was to me. I slipped into my underwear and put my shorts and hoodie on.  

            “You're right." He said quietly.  


            "I am vein." 

            "Well… Y-You are."  I said, trying to sound brave, though I’m sure it didn’t work.

            "I'm sorry." 

            "Alright then…"  

            "But I meant what I said. I do like you and I do want to get to know you." There was a brief moment of silence before I broke it.

            "Why me, Niall? You could have anyone you wanted. So, why me?" 

            "Because you don't treat me like a pop star. You treat me like a guy. That frustrates the shit out of me sometimes, but you're the only one who treats me normally. And you have this vibe to you. You don't need anyone to take care of you. I know you want someone to take care of you, but you know you can do it on your own. I like that." I stood before him, our knees touching one another, silently looking down into his crystal orbs. They were red, pupils constricted, making the blue even brighter. He smelled of smoke, but it wasn’t cigarette smoke. I knew this smell from when I used to live in the Bronx.

            “Niall, are you high?” I asked so silently, I doubt he heard. And even if he did, he made no sign of doing so. 

            "I don't want to hurt you." He continued. "I don't want to jump into things, but I know I don't want to be your friend for too long. Cecilia, I'm not here to hurt you."  

            He took my hand and tugged at it, pulling me down to my knees. His lips grazed my ear, planting soft kisses. "I know that our first time wasn’t the most romantic thing ever and for that I’m sorry, but when we have sex, you fit around me so perfectly. When we cuddle, we fit like two puzzle pieces. I don't even like cuddling, but I would cuddle with you all day and night." It was barely a whisper. He sounded genuine, and his crystal blue eyes bore into mine with such passion and sincerity. I leaned in and kissed him, running my hands over the tops of his thighs to his lower back. He pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss.  

            My heart was racing, pumping blood all over my body. The kiss became more urgent as he wrapped his hand around my hair, gently tugging to gain access to my neck and kissing it, breaking skin and then gently nursing the new mark on my skin with his tongue. I winced as he kissed it again. He pulled me up and unzipped my hoodie, pulling it off of my body and throwing it in a heap at the foot of the bed. He kissed my naval, and then down to where my pants hugged my hips.  

            My shorts came off afterwards as he left a trail of wet kisses down neck and chest. They joined my hoodie and I tugged at the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. He skillfully unsnapped my bra with a quick motion of his thumb and index finger. I matched this movement while unbuttoning his jeans... Then he stopped. He just stopped moving. Maybe he even stopped breathing, I don't know. He was looking down at something on my side, then he looked up at me.  

            "What's the matter?" I asked my voice soft with concern. He took my wrists in his hands and brought them in front of me, running his fingers over the length of some of my scars. "Ni, please don't." I pleaded quietly, unable to look at him. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me on top of him, both of us lying down.  

            "Do they all have a story to tell?" He asked, making eye contact for the first time since he discovered my scars. I nodded.

            "Will you tell me them one day?"  

            "One day." I whispered almost inaudibly. But he heard me. He kissed me again, and we spent the next two hours together, our bodies intertwining with each other and him whispering sweet nothing's into my ears. He kissed each scar and told me how beautiful he thought I was. He told me I deserved the world. He showed me, sending me to a world of pleasure I didn't know existed. His hips crashed into mine over and over again. His blue eyes now nearly black with lust, almost all traces of his high gone. His head placed itself in the crook of my neck. I gasped as he bit into my neck before sucking harshly. I knew that would leave a mark. My hands reached into his hair and tugged. He let out a throaty groan in appreciation of my boldness. I breathed his name while I reached my peak, profanities slipping from his soft pink lips as he reached his shortly after me.

            He pressed his forehead to mine, body going limp above me. We stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like hours.  In those moments, I belonged to him, and he to me.  When we were done, we just lay there. Hearts racing, sweaty and flushed. He lay on my chest and stood very still and very quiet.


            I lay on her bare chest listening to her heartbeat. I listened to her lungs fill and deflate with air. I relished on the feeling of her soft, cold fingertips on my warm skin. I looked at her wrists again and wondered what could possibly be so bad for her to want to cut herself. Who could possibly hurt such a beautiful soul? Who in their right fucking mind? I noticed that one was still healing.

            Her breath began to slow down. I looked up at her and she was fast asleep. I heard a vibration over in the corner of the room, so I walked over and found my phone. 6 missed calls and 13 messages.

            Liam: Where are you mate?

            Louis: 'Scuse me? Why aren't you in your room, Cinderella?

            Liam: Bro, we're kinda worried. Give us a shout, aye?

            Harry: Oh where, oh where has my little Niall gone..

            Zayn: You're with her, aren't you?

            I responded to only Zayn. 'Yeh. I am.'

            "What a nice view I've got here. " Cecilia's soft voice teased, as I've yet to put on my clothes.

            "Listen Miss! I need food! Rest! Atmosphere!" Walking over to me, wrapped in her duvet, she smirked at me.

            "And I need to get my little siblings."

            "Get dressed and we'll head off then." I took the duvet from her and threw it over to the bed. "There. That's better." She giggled, picked up her clothes, and headed to the bathroom. After we've both changed, we headed to the airport where Heaven and Gabriel would be waiting for us.  

            On the ride over, she told me stories of her and her sibling’s crazy antics. She was a prankster, I'll tell you. She got in loads of trouble along with her siblings.

            "Uh let me see... Oh! I've got one! One day, I was home bored and my older cousin Michael, the one I call my older brother that lives with us, wasn't home. So I took all the left shoes and hid them all around the house. It took him hours to find them. He was so mad!" She giggled.

            "That's pretty random. Why'd you do that?" I asked, fighting to keep a smile off of my face and keep it serious.

            "I was bored!" She whined. I laughed then, losing the fight with my smile.

            “That wasn’t very nice, Cecilia. Don’t do that to your brother again or you might just earn a proper spanking.” I play warned. I took my eyes off the road and put them on her when she didn’t laugh. A slight blush was creeping onto her face and her breathing picked up an irregular pace. So she liked the idea of a spanking, aye? I smirked to myself as I slowed the car, approaching a red light. When the car came to a halt, I grabbed her wrist and brought her closer to me. I chuckled and I heard her breath catch in her throat. “Is that what you want? A spanking? Should I spank you for kicking me out this morning?” She shook her head, but her flushing face and chest, and shaking hands told me otherwise. She tried to take her hand from mine, but I held on. I got closer to her ear and teased the lobe a bit. “Then behave yourself.” I whispered deeply. I let her wrist go and placed my hand back on the steering wheel.

            We got to the airport and I parked. Cecilia went to unlock the door, but I locked it again, switching on the safety lock. She pulled at the lock a little more and looked to me with confusion. I chuckled at her, got out the car and walked over to her side. I held my hand out for her to help steady her as she got out the car and she took it. I lost the warmth of her hand as she took it from mine when we began to walk toward the gate. A few girls recognized me and we stopped to take pictures with them. Surprisingly enough, there weren’t many interruptions.

            We got to the gate where the kids would arrive in and waited. I told her what it was like growing up in Ireland, and she expressed a deep interest in visiting one day. The announcement for the kid’s flight was made and it was almost as if I wasn’t there anymore. Her focus was completely on her siblings. A grin spread widely on her face as Gabriel came into, followed by Heaven. Before going over to greet them she walked over to me and pulled me down, her lips to my ear.

            “You don’t have to leave next time you smoke.” She whispered and then left me to stand alone while she greeted her siblings. I followed shortly behind, my hands shoved in my pockets. Cecilia bent down to pick up Heaven and I saw the top of her lace underwear. I really did love those on her. She walked over to Gabriel and she pecked him on the cheek while he hugged her. He was my height, but you could tell he was younger than me. Heaven was a baby. Maybe two, three tops? She held a pacifier in her mouth. I glanced around in anticipation. It wouldn’t be long until there was a crowd and I was surrounded. They walked back over to me. “Can we get this show on the road?” I said with a little more annoyance in my voice than I meant for.

            Heaven reached for me and wrapped her arms around my neck, forcing me to carry her. I was never good with children, so it was awkward.

            “Hello little one…” I half cooed, half questioned. Yeah, I told you I was awkward with kids. She rested her head in the crook of my neck. Alright, maybe this one wouldn’t be so bad. I nodded my head to Gabriel and he just looked at me. Probably sizing me up. I scoffed and began walking back to the car. I was stuck with Gabriel in the passenger seat, Cecilia taking to the back to hold Heaven since I didn’t have a car seat. The ride back to her house basically consisted of Cecilia and her siblings talking and laughing. We got to the house and Gabriel went straight to his room.

            “Down!” Heaven said through the pacifier that hadn’t left her mouth. Cecilia let her down and she wandered off somewhere. That left me and Cecilia.

            “I don’t think I could make it to your show tonight.” She said, not looking me in the eye.

            “You’re going.” I stated. I wasn’t going to let her say no just because  her siblings were here. She needed a better excuse than that.

            “But I can’t leave them alone and even if I did Heaven would-“

            I grabbed her by the waist and pushed her back against the wall, body leaving but an inch of air between us.

            “You’re going. You all are.” I said to her in a low voice. “I’ll handle everything.”

            “You realize that the carnival is at the same time as your show, right?” She asked quietly, possibly trying to fight off the fact that I made her nervous. She had this cute little habit of getting nervous when I got too close to her, and since I decided I wanted to get close to her in every way possible, she didn’t challenge me as much. She got mad about my dominance later, after I backed off. She was so cute when she was mad. She pouted and furrowed her eyebrows, crossed her arms over her chest. When she yelled at me, she moved her neck side to side. She raised her voice to reach over mine. I liked seeing her mad and yelling at me- testing me- just as much as I liked to see her nervous. I liked to see how she would gasp at my sudden closeness. They way her eyes would widen. I could almost see the internal battle she was having with herself, trying to convince herself to fight back but being to scare to do so. How she tried to push herself into the wall. To say she was cute was an understatement. Looking at her now, eyes wide and breath irregular, I smirked to myself and backed off. “Don’t worry about a thing. You and you siblings will be taken care of.” I got close to her again, this time leaving no space between our bodies. “And wear something sexy underneath your clothes. I want to see admire your body in everything you wear, before I rip them off of you and I could truly admire you for what you are. Mine.” I whispered. “I’ll be back. Be ready by then. Gotta go to sound check.”


            He left me up against the wall, holding a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding until Gabriel snapped me out of my gaze.

            “Where’d blondie go?” He asked as he got to the bottom of the steps.

            “Out. He’ll be back. Get ready, we’re going out.”


            “To his show.”

            “Ha! No. I don’t wanna go to a faggot show.” He said in his most disinterested voice. I snapped my head toward him and gave him my iciest glare.

            “Watch your mouth and get ready. I’m not asking you.” I demanded and I left to get ready. Wear something sexy underneath your clothes. I want to see admire your body in everything you wear, before I rip them off of you and I could truly admire you for what you are. Mine. The last word echoed in my head. Mine. Mine. Mine.

This was not going as planned.


Heyy... It's been a while. So sorry, been really been with college and OMG DID ANY OF YOU READ DARK I'M HOOKED WHAT EVEN IS THIS?!??! Anyway... Yeah, Hope you like it. Made it nice and long to make up for the lack of uploading. Enjoy <3 




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