The Animal Diaries

This will be a short collection of diary entries, supposedly written by animals. Hopefully they will be funny, so I'll try!


3. -Prince Alexander Tigerious III of Egypt (Mr Tinkles)

My captors still insist on feeding me this muck, and yet they do not allow me anywhere near that wretched fish thing that does, in my opinion, look particularly delectable. Yes, today has been another day of the same; woke up lounging on the obese captor's face (which really irritated him when he woke up), explained quite quietly that I desired that goldfish, yet the fools supposed I fancied dried up beef instead (the humans call them "biscuits" for some reason or another).

I tested each surface in this prison camp for comfiness, until I decided on the medium-sized captor's bed, since she doesn't mind when I get hairs on it. After sleeping like so for most of the day, I retired to the living room sofa, where I am now.

I also tried to murder the obese captor again today, by weaving myself through its legs. 

Maybe next time I'll do so at the top of the stairs instead.

Yours sincerely, 


-Prince Alexander Tigerious III of Egypt

(Or as these fools call me, Mr Tinkles)

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