Death by Love

This is the story of a girl, her first boyfriend, and a huge pit of depression.

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1. Suicide Note

Why do people have to be such idiots! I slammed the front door wide open, and instantly ran upstairs. The events of the day flashed in my mind. Tears burst from my eyes before I even got to my bedroom. I threw my bag on the floor and collapsed onto my bed into a heap of depression. I really am sick of life, and I mean it. Wiping tears from my eyes, I flipped the switch for my charger and turned the laptop on. After the laptop taking forever to load, I logged onto facebook. Before suicide, you leave a note, so people who it isn't a murder. But me ending my own life. I typed out the long message, and stared at it blankly, as if it was going to kill me. Well, maybe not me. It might kill him. I shakily hit send, and then almost ruptured into tears again. The message said the following:

 

I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but the stories I wrote will be forgotten. Along with all memories of me, if there's no reason on the Earth to be here, then why stay? The reason is simple, no-one actually cares about me, you'd think my friends do but they replace me. You'd think my family would, but if I hide in my room, they never notice I'm gone. And my books, they're just one of many stories on the Earth that many people have wrote. And yet, only the occasional few actually make a living out of writing. My books and ideas are a good reason to stay on this Earth. But not good enough. The oldest I'll be in exactly 14 years of age, no more, no less. So these are the last days of my life on this Earth. I just had to tell you, for those who are dear to me know already. That doesn't include my family, I know you more than I know them, so you're in the circle of my trust. If you don't reply, I'll understand. You'll join the countless others that don't care for me. Or don't even want to know me.

 

My eyelids failed, the dam broke. A river of salty tears broke through. I put my headphones in, and put on my music, whatever it was, I could tell. It just sounded like blurring and buzzing. I have 12 days left on Earth, until I'm fourteen. It's the 6th of January, my birthday is on the 18th. You'd think that I'd kill myself sooner to end this depression and sorrow, but I might as well try and live a few days in my life. I've nothing to live for, might as well just write. I bleep sound ringed through my ears. It was Max, the person I sent the message to. My hands began to shake again, they wouldn't stay still. I opened his message which read the following:  

So what does it come to? Life is not something you can throw away. You are cared for but you need to understand that your stories will not be forgotten, neither will you for that matter, your family does love you as much as your friends. I thought the same as you for the last three years, Blaine tormented me to the point I kept on telling my mum I wasn't going to get on the bus rather than walk in front of it, but I didn't, because Heather I thought there was at least some hope, people hated me, so what. I support you, in fact you are a icon for me, my parents were not helpful, well they were just as bad as him... but you have to understand that you are loved.

 

My keyboard began to get wet with the tears that trickled down my chin. Oh, and he mentions this person called Blaine, he's an idiot, I hate him. But I can't bare to do this to Max, I secretly hoped that he just ignored the message thinking I was being stupid. I wrote in reply: But they don't show it, so why should I pretend? I live in miserly. Though I do thank you, there isn't enough.

Max: So what does it come to?

Me: What do you think? I shouted it today, I was tipped over the edge, by several things.

Several things include people taking the piss out of me, and jumping on a yoghurt so it squirts on me. Yeah, there are some complete idiots at my school, normally I ignore them. But I can't anymore.

Max: Killing yourself is something much worse than living misery Heather.

I rolled my eyes, that's a lie isn't it? And then I typed out and sent: It's better.

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