Death by Love

This is the story of a girl, her first boyfriend, and a huge pit of depression.


2. Amazing?

Okay, my plan of this being a note of suicide isn't going too well. My stomach started to twist into knots, and then felt like it was kicking itself. It took him a few minutes but he did reply:

No. Internal blackness is no luxury, infact, humans are intelligent enough to understand the concept of life and death. But they don't, no living being does, its like walking down a corridor from blackness. You have a short run, and then you enter another door at the end of the corridor, into more blackness. And then, there is no second door, there is no second chance. We have science, science does not prove a world after life, nor a heaven or a hell, just nothing. I will be distraught with out you Heather. Knowing this is your fate.

Me: There's no life without living. That was one of my most favourite sayings. Not a very common one, but there you go.

Max: Trust me heather, school is just a short run in a life which has only just been introduced since the dawn of the 20th century, it will change. When you grow old and have children you will understand what I say to you now. It is silly to end it when you have so much potential so much ambition. Think Heather, hundreds of people have thought the same as you, and have realised that its a shambles to ruin it so early.

Me: There's nothing to ruin, but the crap that I've invented, and the enemies I've made. And disappointments I've made for my parents, there's no use. People would be better without me, without someone that never is taken seriously. I'm a waste of space, everyone would be better off.

Max: No. With that simple word, he made me shake.

Max: What crap you have made? I was embarrassed when I saw your books, because I needed to step up my game to get to your level. Enemies, please. Zoe, Louise, Max Meads, I can't believe you give a shit about them. I can't believe it gets to you, tell them you don't know Girl. It's 10 years from our meaningless lives. Parents will always be assholes, no change there. Well that was true, I didn't quite know what to write in reply to that.

Me: Yes, I'm scared, but I'm a law against nature. A girl that doesn't people, except. Well that doesn't matter, but still. I'm against the laws of nature, and nothing can change that. If you went onto Movellas, I've written a new novel. Based on how, unwanted I am. But you do seem to be the only person that actually gives more than just one second to think about the world without me. I don't want to be wasting what little oxygen breathe. And even so. I still don't want to live.   

I wasn't expecting him to even care about the note let alone try and talk me out of killing myself.

Max: Well I do want you to live. He's joking, right?

Me: For what? I hardly think he could come up with a good answer to that.

Max: Because you're amazing.

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