Trigger

Short story about the love between Kim and Isabel. His desperate attempts to save her from her own creation. Will love destroy them or will they both be standing at the end?

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1. Life for a life

Many said that it was Isabel’s eyes that were her most astounding feature, the emerald green gaze that lapped up the suns rays, other said it was her golden hair that made her beauty, the way it fell in soft waves to her waist. But to Kim it was her smile. To him all he ever needed was to see her smile and then his problems seemed to dissolve into thin air.

Isabel had always been beautiful, the golden light that seemed to lap around her like a vibrant aura dancing in celebration of her beauty. Throughout her life she had been judged upon her looks, people cooed around her stereotyping her before they knew her, classing her as the pretty face and nothing more. That was until she met Kim.

Kim hadn’t just seen the beauty on the outside she was known so well for, but also her beauty on the inside, her innocent nature and gentle instincts. That’s why he loved her, because she would sacrifice herself first before letting harm come to those she loved. Looking at her now Kim could see only an angel among mere mortals. Her radiance vibrating from her like a flow of energy.

Isabel walked up to him and soft out her hand against his face and smiled her warm inviting smile. "I have some news for you" she said softly the smile not wavering on her face. "oh?" "I’m pregnant" she beamed. It took a short while for Kim to process this in his mind and slowly but surely a small gleam appeared in his eyes as a smile spread across his face. "your sure?" he asked "positive" she replied.

They had been trying for a child for sometime and the strain of repeated failures had begun to weigh down on them both, it was physically and emotionally draining on Isabel as she had had five miscarriages and three still born’s, they had almost given up when she found the news. But as fast as the joy had ran through his body did it evaporate again, worry taking its place. Kim released Isabel from the tight hug he had her in and held her at arms length.

"what’s wrong?" her voice layered with concern. "you should get rid of it" his voice suddenly cold and monotonous. "but Kim" she cooed advancing a step forward only for him to move a step back in response. "Kim?" the hurt was clear in her voice as her eyes sparkled with the beginnings of tears. "get rid of it Isabel" he met her with a cold gaze and then turned and walked over to the window, she followed like a lost puppy placing her hands on his shoulders and leaning her head against his back tentatively, he didn’t move.

Kim stared out of the window his eyes cold and emotionless, his muscles tense beneath his shirt as if something might jump out of nowhere at any moment. "Kim" she cooed again. "just don’t Isabel" his voice now a threatening menace, heartless and cruel. He didn’t turn around. Her tears spilling over and trickling down her face.

"but why?" her voice broke slightly. Kim sighed feeling the heaviness in his chest rise and fall with the movement. The lump in his throat refusing to budge but he swallowed regardless. "I cant lose you" he sighed and turned to meet he confused gaze. "but you wont, I’m right here" she soothed. "we’ve done this too many times, I’ve put you through enough and, what if …"his eyes stared off into the distance a pained and tortured expression slowly creeping into his features, "what if next time its not just the baby I lose, its you as well, I cant … I just cant Isabel" when he looked back towards her his eyes were over filling with tears and becoming red around the edges. "you wont" she repeated trying to sooth him.

They went through the stages, Kim took her to all her appointments, cared for her, looked over her, he went through the motions like all the other times before except this time, this time he wasn’t exited. Kim felt numb against the thought of what was happening, he didn’t allow the thought of what might happen if they lose the baby again, he couldn’t, he had to stay strong, not for himself, but for Isabel.

He looked at her now sleeping softly in his arms, so happy in slumber she seemed even more angelic to him that when she was awake. He begged her each day and each night to get rid of it, he begged, he pleaded, he did everything for five weeks it was then that he knew there would be no reasoning with her, and that it would just be better to support her than to argue with her and put on more added stress for her.

"Sing my sweet bird, let the winds hear, sing your sweet lullaby, so sweet to the ear. Sing my sweet bird, and let all troubles drift, hold my hand, and your soul I’ll lift. Love is gentle, and life is kind, sing my precious one and happiness you’ll always find." Isabelle’s voice was as soft as an angels feather, her words so sweet to the ears they seemed to melt away all else. She cooed over her now large stomach holding within it the life she had carried so cautiously for five months. She sang over and over soothingly to her belly whilst stroking it gently as if it were a precious pet that had to protected.

Kim watched her like this for hours, singing the same lullaby to her un-born as her grandmother had sung to her when she was a child. The singing stoped abrupty. Isabel gave a startled blink, frowning she moving her hand slightly down her belly then froze again. Kim became very stiff and then jumped to his feet and was at her side without heer saying a word. "Isabel, Isabel, what is it? Whats wrong? Isabel" Kim’s tone was becoming more and more frantic by the minuet. Isabel lifted one finger slowly in his direction to signify she wanted silence. Kims expression became pained, anxious, terrified almost. Isabel blinked again then smiled and looked to Kim.

"he kicked" she smiled, sounding almost triumphant. She was still for a moment as if listning for some un-heard sound and then the smile broke out on her face again "he kicked again" she pulled Kim’s hand down towards her belly before Kim had time to react. There. He felt it to. It was like a small nudge coming from the inside of her. Kim fell to his knees beside her staring. Just staring.

This had never happened before, not even when Isabel was expecting the still born’s, none had kicked. It stoped. Kims brow furrowed, then he looked up at Isabel who’s expression had turned to worry. "sing again" he said staring again at her stomach. She hesitated for a moment and then began again. "Sing my sweet bird, let the winds hear" she stopped again and smiled "he kicked" she squealed with exitment. "he likes your voice" Kim said softly looking up at a practically glowing Isabel.

The time slipped by like sand through a glass, the minutes, the hours, the days and even the months seemed to pass as though they had never been. Nine months arrived faster than anticipated, Kim was on high alert at every sound, every movement, every stroke of air. Isabel walked around singing most days the pregnancy not seeming to bother her even though she was the size of a house almost.

"ahhhh" the scream was followed swiftly by a crash. "Isabel" Kim ran into the kitchen only to find Isabel on the pile on the floor surrounded by a pool of water, her expression was as panicked as he felt but he knew he had to stay strong, not for himself, but for her. Kim grabbed his phone and frantically dialled for an ambulance.

The paramedics arrived a short fifteen minutes after. Isabel screamed again, agony blatently clear on her face. There was a mad flurry as Isabel was packed into the back of the ambulance and rushed into the maternity ward. Dr Lee came in to the room just as they were settling in. "Mr Kean" Kim looked up at the tall lanky looking doctor stood in the doorway. He signalled for Kim to accompany him out of the room, Kim hesitated and looked over to Isabel who only smiled weakly, he left looking back only once on her frail beauty.

"Mr Kean, there has been some" Dr Lee hesitated "complications" he finshed "what kind of complications?" kim interjected before Dr Lee had a chance o explainn, his sky blue eyes understading and soft. "the baby seems to be wrapped around the umbilical chord, she’ll have to have a sesection" kim convulsed at the though and nodded stifly, thinking only of her best.

She was in the theatre for eight hours. Kim paced frantically backwards and forwards at the entrance. The nurses wouldn’t allow him to accompany her on the grounds that the proceedure was more risky than they first anticipated so they needed the extra room to operate more successfully. moments later a blood stained young nurse in dark blue scrubs approached kim with a bundle in a soft blue cotton blancket.

"Mr Kean, meet your son" the nurse smiled kindly, passing the new infant to kim. He felt a sense of proud joy wash over him, her departure caught his eye "can I see Isabel now"he asked "the doctor will be out to see you shortly" and with that she disappeared back behid the heavy double doors leading into the theatre. Kim nursed his young son tentatively in his arms, rocking him softly side to side. Mr Lee approached Kim without him hardly noticing. He placed a comforting hand n kim. "you can see her now" kim nodded and followed him into the theatre still holding his new born baby in his arms.

Isabel was lying on a bed like table, a white cotton sheet pulled over her and her eyes shut as if in slumber. Kims brow furrowed in confusion. "is she asleep?" he looked to Dr Lee. "I’m sorry for your loss" he said softly. The full weight of the realisation hit kim in one fast swoop of air he could hardly breath.

He stumbled around the hospital for a few hours coming to terms with his partners loss all the while cradeling his new born baby in his arms. Colby met him at the exit to the hospital "I’m so sorry man" he put a comforting hand on Kim’s shoulder. "but hey congrats all the same, well that is, if its yours" "its mine" kim snarled. Colby put his hands up in diffence and took kim home. It some how didn’t feel like home anymore. Like it was somehow empty without her in it.

"So, what’s the kid called?" Colby said from the doorway. Kim knew what to answer before he’d even asked. It was the name Isabel had picked. The name of her great-grandfather. "Trigger"

***

For those we love we would give anything, sacrifice anything. For the things we wish would bet against the world. For those we carry with us and protect we give our all. For these are the things that are important in life. We live to love and serve our hearts, we give our lives in doing this. Love is precious no matter what form it is in. it is this we give our lives for.

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