The Suicide Note

It was all a lie..




So many thoughts were running through my head as Scarlett, Jeffrey and my parents sat in front of me in the dining hall. All I knew was that Lily had tried to kill herself and Jeffrey was her father. And Scarlett has a sister. I don’t think I had ever been more confused.

“Okay,” My mother huffed. “Where shall we start?” She put the letters in the middle of the table, and looked at my father. He put his hand on hers to comfort her. Dad sighed.

“Niamph, we aren’t your parents. We are psychiatrists.” He kept his gaze down and refused to look at me.

“What?” I said. I clenched my fists, trying not to show any emotion. I didn’t understand.

“The letters you found, a few years ago, you wrote them. Something troubled you, but no one knew what. Niamph, you are Lily Rose. You tried to kill yourself.”

My mother chipped in then. “Scarlett found you in your room one night; your wrists were dripping with blood. You weren’t dead, you had only blacked out. She didn’t know what to do. Scarlett is your sister.” She began to cry. Scarlett looked at me to show me that she cared. She gave me a small smile. “Your father sent you to the shock therapy clinic right away. Shock therapy is when you erase somebody’s memory. That’s what we did to you. And the doctors said that it was safe for you to return back home. But there were some complications, which lead you to think that we were your parents.”

I gasped. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” A smile creeped onto my face, but it was a smile of disbelief and lies. I tried to relax myself.

“We didn’t want to hurt you. We didn’t want you to try and do it again,” Scarlett said.

Memories began to rush back to me. The night I tried to kill myself, the noise of dripping blood. The scream of my sister as I said I’m sorry. Visions of myself in hospital, with Jeffrey looking down on me. being sent to the clinic. I began to remember everything. Obviously shock therapy wasn’t permanent.

“But why did you lie!” I cried. I closed my eyes and tried to forget it all. Why was this happening to me? Jeffrey was my dad, and my parents aren’t my family at all. I hated this. I hated them all too. What am I meant to do? I stood up, but I didn’t know where to go.

“Please, Lily, don’t get angry.” My dad said, the psychiatrist said. I was confusing myself.

“Niamph! My name is Niamph!” I was fuming. “What is this, some big joke?”

“No, honey, it’s true.” Jeffrey told me. “I didn’t want any of this to happen. And, then your mother passed away, and I missed you so much.” “You can’t have missed me that much, you wouldn’t have sent me away,” I returned.

“I just wanted to trigger your memory,” Scarlett told me. “I put the letters there deliberately because I knew that you would snoop. The silhouette you saw in the tower room, well, that was me. That’s what you did to me that night when you tried to kill yourself.” She cried.

I didn’t want to be here anymore. I walked out of the room, and went out of the back door and ran. I didn’t stop running until I was out of the property of the house. I heard them shout out from behind me, but I didn’t stop going. I walked swiftly on and decided that I should sit down and think. I closed my eyes and let the tears come. It must have been a lie. Just a big joke. I lay down in the grassy meadow. Flowers were planted around me and I breathed heavily, breathing in the sweet scent. I fell asleep, into a long and deep sleep. And that was the last time anyone ever saw me.

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