The Suicide Note

It was all a lie..

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3. SINKING

 

I wasn’t surprised at myself when I walked out of the back door and straight into the gardens of the large house. I wandered up the grey stoned path which had been worn and weathered down. The lake was to my left and a large forest to my right, which ran along in the distance in front of me. The cool morning air made my breath swirl in surreal motions right in front of me and I shivered underneath my green parka coat and my woolly scarf. The sun of the early morning made the silhouette of my shadow long and everything looked prettier with the bright tints of orange and yellow. Treading off the path, I headed over to the lake. Its surface had frozen and the patterns that were trapped in the ice made it look almost psychedelic. The cold wind slapped me hard around the face endlessly as I walked nearer and nearer to the lake. Tall, thin trees that were losing their leafs, broadly surrounded the farther side of the frozen lake and the white cloudy mist still lay thick at the tree trunks. The view was completely perfect.

My green wellies sank into the mud and grass around the lake as I was only centimetres away from the ice. I sat down feebly on the mud and lay my feet onto the ice; which was thick and looked rather strong. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply the scent of the cold air and fir trees. I listened to the noises of the morning birds tweeting loudly and the bristle of the trees. The coldness hugged me tight and I stood up slowly. I took a small step onto the shiny lake. Nothing happened. I went further; my steps were small and soundless. I kept my eyes on the ice, in case it cracks, but I realised that I was already in the centre of the deep lake. What was I doing? Listening carefully, I suddenly heard the noise of the ice crackling right beneath my feet. I panicked and didn’t know what to do.

“HELP!” I screamed as the floor beneath me gave way and I found myself splashing helplessly in deep water. It was freezing and I went numb almost instantly as my whole body was underwater. I tried to get to the surface but all I could feel was ice. Screaming, I realised nobody could hear me under the water and I tried to hold my breath for as long as I could. The clothes that I was wearing were dragging me down and I was reluctant to trying to take them off. I swam as fast as I could to what I thought was the surface but I had lost all sense of direction whilst I concentrated on trying to stay alive. The water was so cold that I couldn’t even bare to shiver, and I was slowly losing consciousness from my body. After another try to reach the surface of the water and failing, I had no hope and gave up entirely. Although my eyesight was blurry already, my vision was already starting to fade even more as I sank deeper and deeper into the frozen lake. My consciousness almost left me, and I thought I was dreaming as I watched something jump into the water quickly and started to grab me. I couldn’t hold my breath any longer and I fell into a long, deep sleep.

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