<3 love or loved <3


10. picturing us together now


I get a glass of cold water and sit on my couch. I picture myself having one last conversation with him.   Me: “Hey, Austin.” (I say it so casually, just like old times.)   Austin: “Hey, Amie.”   Me: “Why are you wearing a tie?”   Austin: “Why shouldn't I be?”   Me: “I don't know.”   Austin: “I have a job.”   Me: “Good.”   Austin: “I'm a lawyer, Amie.”   Me: “That's great.”    Austin: “You don't sound like that's great.”   Me: “Don't I?”   Austin: “I live in an apartment in the city. I talk on the phone with other businesspeople.”   Me: “I'm proud of you.”   Austin: “I have a diploma hanging up on the wall of my office. My office.”    Me: “Do you play music anymore, Austin?”   Austin: “Music.”   He looks at me as if he doesn't remember the word.    Austin: “No, I don't play my music anymore.”   Me: “Oh.”   Me: “I loved you, Austin.”   Austin: “Loved? Past tense?”   Me: “I think so.”   Austin: “I love you.”   Me: “Why'd you ask me out?”   Austin: “I thought you were beautiful and smart, and I loved how shiny your dark brown hair was. I liked how you weren't too loud, and you didn't wear low-cut shirts like most other girls.”   Me: “I wish you'd said, ‘Because I felt like it.'”   Austin: “Sorry.”   Me: “Me too.”   Austin: “I have to be going.”   Me: “Yeah.”   Me: “Wait!”   Austin: “Yes?”   Me: “I'd never had Chinese food before.”
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