Passion '2 (15+)

"Remember when I promised to love you forever?"

"Yes?"

"Forever isn't over yet."

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68. That feeling

 

Zayn's P.O.V:

 

We had been down this road before. Down the road that we called love. We had been there, and we had experienced more than most people had, but every time we had broken apart somehow. I still couldn't tell what to think about it. I only knew that I loved her, and I probably always would, no matter what happened between us. I just hoped that we would make it this time, maybe forever, but something told me that it was wishful dreaming. I was aware of the risk of me losing this, but yet I knew that if I lost her, it wouldn't be for long, cause then she would be back. We were like that. Though we weren't flawless, there was something about our love that was hard to survive without. 

I felt beyond happy when I sat there on the carpet in front of the fireplace, with her between my legs, and a blanket wrapped around our shoulders. She sat with her back turned to me, and her face turned to the fire. I had my arms around her waist, and my chin resting on her shoulder, though I had to sit bend over. The warmth from the fire was hurting against our skin, but it was tolerable. None of us wore socks, cause the ones we had been wearing had been soaking wet when we had pulled off our boots. She was wearing a big comfy sweater, and a pair of white undies. Me, I was wearing a white t-shirt, and some grey sweatpants. We had changed into our most comfortable clothes, and while she had been changing, and showering - which I had learned that she did really often - I had made her a can of tea, that now was standing beside us on the floor, while she held the cup in her hand. 
She was sitting cross-legged, while rocking a little from side to side. 

"Your hair is still wet," I mumbled, and kissed her shoulder. "Mmhm," Was the only sound she made. She leaned back and stretched her legs out, so that she could fall back into my arms, and rest her head on the place where my chest and shoulder met, near my collarbone. I didn't care about her wet hair falling down on my shirt, or the wet spot that grew on it. I was amazed by the smell of her shampoo, and the feeling of being physically close to her. The sound of Call of Duty came from the living room where her dad, and brothers were, playing against each other. I had done that while she had been in the shower as well, but as soon as she had gotten out of the shower, I had apologised and left. I'd rather spend time with her than anyone else, though I had come to like her family, and the thought of her dad had been stupid. He was nice to me, and didn't seem to have a problem with me at all, except from the fact that under the dinner he had asked about my smoking, and it pointed out that he hated smoking. Though I was relieved to find out that he didn't care if I smoked, as long as his daughter didn't. She had just smiled while looking at me with playful eyes. At that moment I had known that there was a lot her parents probably didn't know about her.   

But here we sat, two hours after the dinner, with our bodies pressed against each other. Her slow and calm breathing felt like a melody in my ears. She seemed tired, I could tell. Specially because her eyes were closed. "Do you wanna go to bed?" I asked, and kissed her cheek. Though she kept her eyes closed, I could feel her cheek tension as a smile crept onto them. "Mmm... I don't wanna sleep," She tried to fight against the yawn that was escaping her lips. I chuckled, and squeezed her a bit closer to me, "You probably should". 

"But I don't wanna waste the time I have with you," She was mumbling. 

My body felt like melting into some warm liquid when she said that, and I could feel myself relax more, my shoulders hang a bit, and I put my head on top of hers. "You won't, I'll tuck you in, be there till you fall asleep, then I'll go down, and I promise I'll be by your side before you wake up," I said, and rocked a bit from side to side, with her. 

"I don't want you to go," 

I sighed, "But you're tired," 

She nodded, "But not that tired."

"That's a lie," I chuckled, and she giggled, "Yeah, it is". 

"Can you carry me to bed?" She finally asked after some minutes of silence, where I had been wondering if she would fall asleep in my arms. "I think you're too fat, sorry," I joked, and laughed a little. I only dared to say it because she was far from fat... Actually I would like her to gain a little weight, like when we had been younger. She was almost too thin and too easy to carry now.

She hit my thigh, since she couldn't hit anything else, "That's just rude!" She laughed, and hit me again, this time harder, and right on the middle. I wailed out in pain, and squeezed her hard, until she wailed out, "I ca... can't breathe!". I laughed, and started to tickle her, until she started laughing loudly, and whimpered and screamed. She moved away from me, but I kept on tickling her, until she was lying on the floor screaming and turning, trying to push my hands away from her. 

"Get away from me!" She screamed, but the laughter in her voice made it sound a lot less convincing. I kept on tickling her, until she kicked the air out of my stomach, and I gasped out. She saw her chance, and fast jumped up from the floor, and escaped out the room, past her mother that stood in the kitchen talking to her aunt on the phone - I could tell, because they were insulting each other, in some non serious way. 
I took one minute to get over the kick, and then I decided to follow her. I ran past her mother as well, that turned and looked after me with a confused look. I stormed up the stairs to the second floor, and saw the door into her childhood room was shut. When I grabbed the handle, I couldn't pull it down, she was holding it. "That won't work," I said, and pressed harder. "Fuck," I could hear her mutter, and then in one easy move the door opened, and I saw her brown hair escape into the closet. She probably hoped that I hadn't seen.

I opened up the white door to her closet, and she screamed when she saw me, but instead of tickling her, I sneaked my arms around her waist, and pulled her out, and into my arms. She giggled with her face against my chest, and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I think I've peed in my pants," She laughed, and kept her face against my chest. I fast let go of her, and took a step back, "What?" I asked, surprised, but when I saw the grin on her face it hit me that she had been joking. 

I stood one meter in front of her, close enough to reach out and touch her, but I didn't. The huge smile on her face, and the tears of laughter in her eyes made her look adorable, and I couldn't help but adore her. She looked like a little kid, specially when she stood on the floor in her childhood room. The walls were painted white, and it looked cute... With some candles in the window, and a oldish mirror on her make up table, a long with jewellery that was sorted. I didn't remember her being that good at keeping her stuff sorted, so it had surprised me earlier that day when we had arrived. Though she had convinced me that she had cleaned her room when she had moved away from home. But all her old stuff was still there, along with a human sized mirror on the wall beside the door, before the tall white closet started. 

 

I walked a little around and studied all the small things on her room, as she was lying in her bed watching me carefully, complaining about the fact that she wasn't tired. I couldn't help but chuckle at her never ending complaining, and way of trying to make me understand that she didn't want to sleep. I felt like she was a kid, not my little sister, that would be gross, but like she was... A lot younger than me, which wasn't the case. When she was lying there with her arms crossed, and her lower lip stuck out a bit, while she was complaining I couldn't help but find it funny - and extremely childish. 
"But Zaaaayn, I don't want to," She begged, but stayed where she was. I shook my head, and chuckled again. I kept on studying her things, without saying a word. "Zaaayn!" She said, and I could hear the bed crack a bit as she moved, and I fast turned to look at her. She had pulled up in a sitting position. "No, lay down!" I said, in a strict voice, causing her to giggle. "I like when you're taking control," She whispered, and a wry smile grew on her lips. I froze, and just looked at her, "Umm... Yeah, okay," I managed to say, not knowing what to do. 

"I was joking... or well no, but whatever..." She started, and watched me before she spoke again; "I can't sleep if you're not here". 

I sighed, not in an annoyed way, but because she was so cute that I didn't know what else to do. 

We cuddled up, and she held me tightly, like she was afraid that I could drift away as soon as she closed her eyes. 

But I wouldn't. 

 

It was the type of feeling that can't be explained. 

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