Passion '2 (15+)

"Remember when I promised to love you forever?"


"Forever isn't over yet."


92. Studio talk


Zayn's P.O.V:


As the tour came closer we started going back to work, the boys and I. We started getting into the ''tour-mood'' and went through all that we had worked on. We were in the studio singing the songs through a few times, talking, getting things straight. We would first be able to try out the performance in the states, and do the sound checks there so we were going to be in Boston one day before the opening performance. We were counting down, and today it was the 1st February. We had celebrated Harry the entire morning, just the boys, the management and I. He was throwing a birthday party later, in his own flat. A party to somehow welcome the tour, and we were all excited. 




I was tapping my hand against my lap, humming the melody to one of our songs in the back of my head. Thomas - from our record label - was currently sitting with his computer in the other side of the room, headphones on and checking through our newly recorded. Behind him was Helene standing, looking over his shoulder. Her eyes followed the volume waves on the screen. 

We had a lunch break, and the rest of the guys where sitting in the back room of the studio enjoying the lunches Paul had ordered. Most of the people in our record label were busy checking everything through, the new records of our voices and the music. 

I had been sitting in my own thoughts for quite a while, and nobody had seemed to bother me. I was still trying to focus on the lyrics in the songs, but the thought of the upcoming tour kept on pushing the songs out of my head. I had been waiting to go for quite a while now, but when I met Emily again I found myself rather wanting to stay here in London with her. It was something I had feared to feel, and I was not going to tell Paul - afraid that he would believe that I'd rather settle down and keep on being in One Direction. That wasn't the chase, not at all. I was staying, but it was going to be harder when I was so madly in love with a girl who would be in different part of the world. I had tried to convince her about New York again, and had mentioned that it would be closer to my tour this year, and when I had said that she had looked thoughtful and had said; "I'll think about it." 

As I once again tried to focus on the lyrics put failed, a loud sigh escaped my lips. Helena - who wasn't wearing any headphones - turned to look my way, and wrinkled her forehead slightly when I threw myself back in the couch. "Anything wrong, Zayn?" She asked, and removed the hand she had on Thomas' shoulder. She turned her front to me, leaned her head a slight bit to the side. "I'm just having pretty mixed feelings about all of this, and it ruins my concentration," I breathed out in frustration. 

A little smile grew on her lips, and soon she sat down beside me on the couch. "Don't be too hard on yourself now, you can go and take a break with the boys..." 

I shook my head, "It's not that. I'm just feeling a little sad about going on tour,"

"Oh." She looked clearly surprised. "Why?"

"Ugh, I don't even know why I should feel sad about it this time. I mean, I've been on tour a lot when I was dating Perrie and it always worked out, bu-"

"Oh this is about your new girlfriend?" Helene asked, and sat up in a bit straighter position. I hadn't really told the management or the people who travelled with us about Emily, not thinking that they needed to know, but Helene seemed pretty interested.

I nodded, "It's just the fact that I finally got back together with her, and she's not good at long distance relationships. I'm guess it's pretty silly... But I'm scared that this tour will be the end of what we have." 

"And what makes you think that?"

I forgot that Helene didn't know anything about Emily and our relationship, and therefore she didn't really understand why I feared that my girlfriend and I wouldn't last over the distance. She didn't know about how fragile the line we were walking on was, like one wind blow could push one of us over the edge. 

"Emily and I we're pretty-" 

"They are pretty complicated." Liam's voice sounded, and Helene and I both turned our head to the door from the back room where he stood. "Would mind me joining your conversation?" He asked, with a little smile. I shook my head, and moved a little so Liam could take a seat beside me and he did. "Where did you come from?" He asked, and looked at me and then Helene. 

"I was asking why Zayn feared that this tour and he was about to explain," Helene said. Liam raised his eyebrows waiting for me to start talking. 

"You see... Emily and I are pretty... Complicated like you said, Liam. It's not that I don't love her, I do. That's what makes me want to stay, because I can't really imagine being without her for so long. She's got me tied up and I'm so scared that she won't be able to handle the distance, since she needs me right now. And... I just don't know... I'm just scared that she might realise that it ain't worth it, when I'll be working so much and touring non-stop, you know?" I rested the back of my head against the backrest, and shut my eyes. 

After some seconds of silence, Liam said something; "You just need to explain to her how it's gonna be an-"

"I've already done that," I muttered. 

"She can come and visit you, you know that right?" Helene said, and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You will have a few weeks break every now and then, you could fly her over to the states, or you could fly home and visit her?" 

"Yeah, do that!" Liam stood up about Helene's idea. I slowly opened up my eyes and looked at them. "Maybe you're right. I could visit her in New York! Wait, Helene where and when is that we will have a break?" 

"I don't really know, but as far as I remember it is after you've played in Madison Square Garden, and then once time in California, but I'm not totally sure..."

"MSG is in New York! That's perfect. Gosh, that is amazing! I'll call her!" I sat straight up, with a smile on my face and a hope in my heart that maybe nothing bad would happen to us while I was on tour. Helene's idea was great, and I should've thought of it myself. I could just pay to get her to visit me, she could maybe even see some of my shows. Danielle had done that plenty lots of times, and Jennifer did it as well. I wasn't sure if Eleanor was coming, and I doubted it... Louis and Eleanor hadn't been dating for a long time now, and though Emily had tried to match make them I didn't believe that they would end up together again. She was invited to Harry's birthday party tonight, but if they only were friends didn't I have the answer to. Neither was I sure Clara would be able to come, she was just staying for Harry's party and then she was heading home to Denmark. She was dancing at a dancing university in Copenhagen, and since she didn't want to fall behind she was forced to travel back. 

I didn't really know where Harry and her stood, but they seemed to have a thing going. It wasn't for nothing she slept at his place so often. When she wasn't staying at his, she borrowed Emily's apartment, because staying at a hotel was too expensive for a 22 years old university student - specially in London. I wasn't sure how serious Harry and Clara were, so I suspected them for just being a kind of lovers. They slept together, hung out, had fun... But didn't really get serious. 


I grabbed my leatherjacket that was lying over the armrest of the couch, and slid my hand down in its pocket just to pull out my phone. "I'll just give her a call," I said, still not being able to control the huge smile that was growing on my face. Helene and Liam laughed at me as I rushed off of the couch and out into the back room, where the rest of the boys ate their lunch - and where Paul sat with some others, talking about the things they had planned we should do. They all raised their heads and looked weirdly at me as I walked, with the grin on my face, to the window, and dialed her number. Two seconds later Liam showed up in the door, and they all turned to look at him. 

"What's Zayn on about?" Louis asked, and gave Zayn a weird glance. 

Liam laughed and shook his head, "He is just a bit nervous about the tour, and got some great news..." 

I ignored them as the phone started ringing. 


//OOBS: There will maybe only be three chapters left of Passion '2 and then I'll start Passion '3 - I hope that the first chapter will be out in the weekend or maybe next week. I'm not sure, but I hope so. I'm so happy for all of your comments! It's so amazing that you are excited for me to publish P'3! It really makes me happy, like really happy. 
I love you guys so bloody much! xx

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