Passion '2 (15+)

"Remember when I promised to love you forever?"

"Yes?"

"Forever isn't over yet."

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60. Riverside

They both ended up sitting on the top of the stone 'wall' with their legs hanging over the edge, about two metres over the ice cold water. The wind was messing their hair up, but they didn't care. The atmosphere was a bit tense, none of them spoke. The air was cold, freezing actually. A breeze was making her freeze into the deepest corner of her body. Even though she wanted to, she didn't rub her hands against each other. She kept them in her lap, where her fingers played around with each other a little. Beside her, he sat. He was just as cold as her, but neither did he do anything about it. The waves were crashing against the stone 'wall', and the sound was relaxing. Her coat was open, but she was not gonna close it. She found it hard to move, and he found it hard to relax. It was like they could read each others minds, maybe cause they shared the same thoughts. 
"What's your reason for being here?" He asked and broke the silence, that had tucked them in like a thick blanket. She turned her head a little, just to glance at him. For some seconds she kept quiet, then she shrugged her shoulders, and mumbled, "The same reason as you". He nodded in a thoughtful way, and turned to look back at the ocean again. They both knew why they were here. Their breaths made small steam clouds in the air in front of them. 
"I'm sorry," He whispered, but this time he didn't look at her. She still had her eyes turned him. "For everything". She breathed deeply in through her nose, "Don't be. None of this was your fault". 
He snorted, in disbelieving. Of course some of this was his fault, he had made her want him, even though he wasn't sure if she actually. "I'm sorry for hurting you," She admitted. She had to get it out, and it was a relief when she finally said it. He shrugged his shoulders, "It wasn't that bad,". This time she snorted, "It was too bad". "Maybe," He slowly moved his hazel eyes from a boat on the river, to the girl by his side. Their eyes met, and his heart skipped a beat, just like every time he looked at her. Every time was like the first time. When he looked at her, this time, he felt hopeless, but yet hoping. Something told him that their love was over, for real this time. Not just another break away. It was gone, and even though he tried to reach out for it, he couldn't get grip of it. 

 

We had a beautiful magic love affair.

What a sad beautiful tragic love affair.   

 

At the same time she was thinking the exact same, hoping that she somehow could save their love, but she watched it slip right out of her fingers. But the truth was that it wasn't over, they just thought it was. They got lost in each others eyes once again, but this time what the saw was sadness. Another part of life. They watched everything slip out of their control, and their eyes were filled with the emotions of losing, and fighting. 
When he was sitting there, looking at her, he could feel the urge to wrap his arms around her, and press her against his chest. But every time he didn't, he almost did. 

 

I bet that you think I've either moved on, or hate you. 

 

She was not in a stable mind, she was actually out of her mind. Her feelings were mixed up, and her tears were once again threatening to escape her eyes. He noticed, but didn't know what to do. He wanted to hug her, and whisper to her that everything was going to be alright, but truth was that he didn't know if it was. His life was going to be somehow normal, though he wouldn't be okay, he would be forced to go on, but he was worried about her, like she had been worried about him. She could disappear and the world wouldn't write about it for months and months. She could be put six feet under ground, sure people would cry, and lose their minds, but she would be like any other person, a long lasting memory. Her name would not be remembered forever, only in the hearts of her beloved ones. It scared him to know how easily she could be forgotten to the world, when she was his world. Of course people would know who she was if someone mentioned her name, the girl that dated Zayn Malik back when he was nineteen. The girl that he had loved so madly - but they would never know. No one would ever know. 
She breathed deeply in again, trying to catch every part of his smell. His perfume, that he had put on before he left. 

 

I know it's long gone, and that magic is not here no more, 

and it might be okay, but I'm not fine at all

Cause here we are again, facing each other.

I almost lost my mind, cause I was looking at you, and the wind in your hair.

I remember you talking about how your future was me.

 

He remembered it all too well. Every little part of their loving. How perfectly her hand fit in his, like they were made for each other. A few slings of her dark brow hair blew in front of her face, and he got an urge to let his fingers touch her face, and wipe the hair away. "Zayn?" She whispered, and he nodded. "What about that we start over again?" She was still speaking in a very low voice, but her voice made him fly, somehow. If they could start all over, maybe everything would be alright. Maybe they would get back the thing that they had lost... But wait, it was too late. He had felt it, just before, so why was his stomach now filled with hope, like a teenage boy? "I know it sounds stupid, but there's nothing I would want more." She breathed out, waiting for his response. "That sounds... Like a fine idea," He finally said. "So I guess you'll pick me up at eight?" She tried to smile a little at him, but nothing seemed funny to her. "What about nine, I know some movie that we could go to," His smile was a little easier, than hers. "Nine... Nine should be fine," She smiled a little at him, "I'm Emily by the way." When she said that, Zayn's smile turned bigger, and it made her smile, just a little. "I'm Zayn," he reached a hand out for her to shake it, and she did. They both smiled, and laughed a little. It was crazy. "Well Zayn, I've got to go, but I look forward to tonight..." She pulled her hand away from him. Before he left, he saw the familiar sparkle in her eyes. 

 

I'd just like to be my old self again. 

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