Passion '2 (15+)

"Remember when I promised to love you forever?"


"Forever isn't over yet."


79. I Will Be

No one's P.O.V:


The following day went with friends and family visiting Zayn. 

The window frame was soon filled with different colored flowers, and different tasting chocolates. 

The hospital room was filled with a tense sadness. The kind of sadness that no one wanted to break. That kind of deep cutting sadness. But there was something else filling the air... Hope. 

Most of Zayn's beloved ones didn't stay for longer than a few hours. The sight of their bruised friend was hardly bearable, and most of them went home to either pray, or just escape from the room that reminded them of the tragedy.

Clara showed up with Harry in the morning, but Emily didn't question it. She had been sitting in silence on a chair in the corner of the room since sunrise. Her mind shut off from the world around. Her eyes resting on Zayn, and her head leaning against the wall. She was still wearing her silky pink night shorts, and her white tanktop. The leather jacket hanging on the backrest of the chair she sat in, and her sneaks kicked off, lying under the little round table beside the chair. 

Eleanor showed up alone, but left with Louis. Danielle showed up with Julia, a friend of hers, that had met Zayn a few times. 

A lot of people that Emily never had met showed up as well, people that somehow knew Zayn. People that he either had been doing business with, or met a few times. 


The news spread like a fire in a forest, soon the rumours had reached every corner of world. Directioners and fans were shocked. Twitter was filled with tweets about the accident. A lot of the Directioners hadn't believed it at first, until pictures from the accident place were leaked. Until the daily news papers had front page pictures from last night when the ambulance had arrived. The fandom was going crazy, tweeting Zayn, the boys and people that could possibly know anything, just to get to hear that their idol was alright. But the people that were close to Zayn, didn't speak a word about the situation, which leaded to even more chaos in the fandom. They cried. They prayed. They were simply shattered, like the fans they were. They had spent so many hours of their lives obsessing over that band. The band that had made them feel so alive and happy the past eight years. The band that Zayn Malik happily had played in years after years... but now no one knew if he ever would play in again. If he ever would stand with his feet on the stage, and his eyes scanning the crowd of thousand of fans that loved him for exactly what he did. No one knew, and that was what scared them. 



Emily's P.O.V:


After hours of visits that day, I found myself sitting in the chair I had been sitting in since sunrise, now the sun had gone down behind the horizon a long time ago. The only person who was left was Zayn's mother. She was standing in the door, talking to a nurse, with her bag over her shoulder, and her jacket closed. She was the last to leave, but would be the first to return the next morning. I knew that. 

I watched her in silence as she nodded at the nurse, and turned her head back to look at me. She raised her hand and gave me a little wave, while she mumbled, "See you tomorrow".    

I gave her a little barely visible nod, and watched her leave the room, through the door that the nurse held wide open for her. Many seconds after she had left, the nurse looked at me, and wrinkled her forehead. 

"Are you going to stay here?" She asked, and turned to glance at the clock hanging on the white painted wall. 

I nodded, but remained silent. 

"It's pretty late, you know... Don't you have anywhere to stay?" 

I avoided the question, and turned to look at Zayn. He looked relaxed. The hoses, needles and machine with the rhythm of his heartbeat, made him look fragile, yet relaxed. 

"Do you live with him?" The nurse asked. She refused to leave the topic. 

I shook my head, and breathed in deeply through my nose. "Would you mind if I could be with him alone for a little while?" I mumbled, and glanced at her with begging eyes. She seemed surprised to actually hear me say something, and took some seconds to think it through before she answered me. 

"No, but I will be back soon, to check up on him." She finally said. 



I had moved the chair up beside his bed. Both of my hands held one of his. I was pressing my thumb to his vein, on the wrist, just to feel the pulse and the beat of his heart. To feel the life running through him. My eyes were wandering over his face, studying every little bruise and every scar. His left eyebrow was sewed together with some blue thread, letting me know that he had cut it open when the car had crashed. His left eye was swollen and had an unnatural blue and purple color. His lip was slightly swollen as well, and it looked as if he had bit hard down on his lower lip, cause it was cut a bit open, and dry blood was covering his bottom lip. The only blood the doctors hadn't removed.

But the right side of his face wasn't hardly damaged, only a blue bruise on his cheekbone. I was not naive enough to believe that it was the only damage on him, but the rest of his body was covered in a long dress looking white shirt, and from his torso and down a white duvet was covering him. I was unable to see any more bruises, than the ones on his face. Though he looked like he did, I still found him unbelievable beautiful. His hair was messed up. They hadn't bothered to remove the products from it, which made it look like it did every time I ran my hands through it. Messy in a sloppy way, that usually made him look adorable.  

I breathed deeply in through my nose, hoping to inhale the smell of him, but all I could smell was the unnatural cleanness in the room, and the mixed smells of different types of flowers, though that smell was hard to catch.

His heart was still beating against the tip of my thumb.

His eyelids fluttered slightly, making my heart jump in my chest. I held my breath, hoping to see his eyes open, but they didn't. They stayed closed. 

I went back to studying him, and many more minutes passed. I knew that I could spend a life time just watching him. Like he once had told me how much he enjoyed to watch me sleep, I enjoyed watching him just as much. 

"Zayn?" I whispered, hoping that he could hear me. It was possible, but I didn't believe that he could, though a part of me hoped that he could. "I... I need you here," I whispered, closing my small hands harder around his hand, squeezing it tightly, hoping that he could feel it.


"There's nothing I could say to you.
Nothing I could ever do,
to make you see what you mean to me,"


I sang in a low voice, that almost made it sound like a whisper. Like a lullaby.


"All the pain, the tears I've cried, 
still you never said goodbye,
and now I know how far you'd go.
I know I let you down, but it's not like that now.
This time I'll never let you go..."


I breathed in, held a pause, and watched him. I was hoping for some reacting, but it never came, so I started where I left, 


"I will be all that you want, and get myself together,
cause you keep me from falling apart.
All my life, I'll be with you forever,
to get you through the day and make everything okay,"


It was hard for me to fight the tears, and the cries wanting to show in my voice.


"I thought that I had everything,
didn't know what life could bring..."


Every sentence was honesty, and every word made sense.


"But now I see, honestly...
You're the one thing I got right,
the only one I let inside.
Now I can breathe, cause you're with me. "


I bend down, and planted a soft kiss on the side of his head, being as careful as possible. Two fast 'beeb' sounds came from the heart machine, and then I could hear his heart being faster. I fast looked up to see if it was because of a damage in his heart, or if I should get a doctor, but the extra speed seemed to be caused by our physical contact. When I had pressed my lips to his temple.  




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