Passion '2 (15+)

"Remember when I promised to love you forever?"


"Forever isn't over yet."


89. All yours

Zayn's P.O.V:


I was lying on the couch, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. I had a lit cigarette between my lips, and a can of beer on the coffee table. I was aware of the fact that I sometimes drank a little too much when I was nervous, or frustrated, but somehow it made me relax. I could've smoked some weed instead, but I hadn't done that since Emily and James had broken apart, cause I guessed she wouldn't like to come home and see me with a joint, but I was actually far from sure - after all she had been wild when we had been younger. It would just be weird if I casually asked if she wanted a joint, I mean, I had no idea if her wild side had changed since she met James, but I hoped not. I loved that side of her. It's not that I usually smoked weed, but when you're living the life I am you'll at least have to try weed

The TV was turned on and The Dark Knight Rises was playing, it came out a little before or after Emily and I met. Emily (and Liam) loved batman, that much did I know, so somehow I had managed to like him as well. I was not paying much attention to the movie, because my thoughts had a way of wandering back to Emily all the time. I tried to imagine where she was with James, and what they talked about. If she fell for him again or realised that he was better and a safer choice than I was. I couldn't stop worrying about what she would say when she stepped through the front door. If the news would be good or bad. I know that she promised to stay, but... Promises had their way with ending up broken, though I wanted to trust her. I slowly removed the cigarette, exhaled, closed my eyes, and placed it between my lips again just to inhale. The sound of the movie faded out in the background as I sank deeper down in the couch. 

What seemed like an half hour later, my eyes flew wide open as I heard the front door close. I had smoked about three other cigarettes in that time, and therefore I realised how strongly the house probably smelled. I moved up in a sitting position, just to look less lazy. After all I didn't want Emily to think that I couldn't do anything when she wasn't there. That every time she left I just faded out on the couch with a cigarette and a beer. I looked down at myself, and realised that I only was wearing my sweats, no shirt, no socks. I sighed, but ignored it. She wouldn't mind anyway. 

Soon she appeared in the door into the living room. Our eyes met, and I broke into a little smile. She didn't return it. She looked sad and exhausted. None of us said something for a few seconds, until she broke the silence. 

"You shouldn't be drinking, it's only 4 a.m..." Was all she said, before she stepped into the room and walked to the coffee table where she grabbed my empty beer can. She gave me one last glance before she made her way into the dining room, and disappeared. 


Emily's P.O.V:  


I threw Zayn's empty beer can out in the trash bin under the sink with a sigh. His laziness got to me at that moment, when I already was frustrated and emotionally unstable. I didn't know why I suddenly reacted so harshly to him drinking a beer at 4 in the afternoon, but it annoyed me to see him on the couch with nothing but his cigarettes and a beer. As I stood with my hands grabbing onto the edge of the kitchen counter, and with my back turned to the dining room. I tried to breathe in deeply in a try to relax and make the irritation fade, but it was not easy. It was one of those feelings where I wanted to grab onto a pillow tightly, and hide my face in at as I screamed all the frustration out. I wanted to force the emotion out of my system, but when I found myself unable to scream it, I bottled it up inside. I angrily opened up the cabinet with the glasses, and grabbed a low thick glass. I placed it on the counter, then I opened up the cabinet under the counter, where Zayn kept all his alcohol. I grabbed an 'Absolut Vodka' a swedish brand and carelessly poured some up in my glass, not bothering to mix it with anything. As I put the vodka away, and grabbed the glass I got cut off by Zayn... 

"What happened to 'You shouldn't be drinking, it's only 4 a.m?'" Zayn asked from behind. I tightened my grip around the glass, trying not to say something harsh to him. After all he hadn't done anything wrong. I was just close to exploding from all these emotions. All these emotions that I shouldn't feel, since it was obvious that if there was a bad guy in this game, it was me. It was me who had been playing on both Zayn and James the past time. I was exhausted from the constant guilt, and the emotions that I couldn't seem to get rid off as long as this game played on. 

"Babe?" He tried, when he realised that he probably shouldn't get on my nervers. I could feel him move closer, until he placed a hand gently on my shoulder. "Go away," I muttered, and shook his hand away from my shoulder. But he didn't listen, instead he wrapped his arms around my waist, and hugged me tightly from behind. He rested his head on top of mine. "What happened?" He asked, as he planted a kiss in my hair. I tried to sneak out of his grip, but he protested by hugging me tighter.

"Did he hurt you?" His voice turned low, almost into a whisper. Had he hurt me? Hell no. No, James would never hurt me in any way. He was the kindest of men that existed out there. He had done nothing but to love me, and I had hurt him and I had hurt Zayn. And I had hurt myself. My mom and dad. James' mother. My pride. My innocence. Everything. 

I shook my head, closed my eyes and raised the glass to my lips. 

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," Zayn once again stopped me. I sighed loudly and slowly opened my eyes. 

"And why wouldn't you?" I asked slowly and annoyed. I shouldn't take it out on Zayn, but I couldn't help it. He didn't deserve it, but at that moment I couldn't care less.

"Because it's 4 a.m and you get easily drunk,"  

I snorted, "Drunk? From one glass?" 

"It's like two shots, babe..." 

"I don't really care, Zayn," I made sure to say his name clearly and slowly. 

"But I do, and come on. Don't do this, it's pathetic. Talk to me instead," He was clearly not in the mood for taking the fight up with my five year old self, that was too stubborn to let him melt the anger and frustration away. When I didn't answer, he took lead of the conversation. "What did he say or do?" He asked, and slowly started rocking our bodies a little bit side to side, hoping to make me give in and relax. And as usual, it worked. Zayn charm made me give up, and relax in his arms as I slowly put the glass down. I could feel him smile down in my hair, as he realised that I had surrendered. 

"He didn't do anything, except from... Being as lovely as he usually is," 

Zayn tensed up when I said that, but tried not to show it. I knew that admitting to Zayn that James was lovely, was not doing Zayn any good, but he had to know that the James I knew wasn't bad at all. I believed that when I was with James, and I cheated on him with Zayn, that Zayn build this hatred up against James. He still hated James, I could tell. The way he spit his name, and the way he looked disgusted when I brought him up in a conversation. James was more man when it came to this, he didn't seem like he hated Zayn, he seemed to believe that Zayn was a child compared to him - and partly he was right. 

Zayn was not as mature. He was a man, but he could still get into to drunken fights, get mad over small things, or act like a nineteen years old, not that I was better, I was just as bad. At some point we were perfect for each other, and at some point we drove each other nuts. We could act like kids, and get on each others nerves over nothing. I liked to believe that it was normal when you were in your twenties, after all I was only twenty-two ... I was not done being young, but yet people expected so much from me. They expected me to already plan to get kids, and settle down, and back with James they had gotten to my head, but now... 

Now I was done playing grown up. I had to live my young days up, and I didn't care what the world thought. 

"Did he... try anything?" Zayn finally asked, swallowing.

I shook my head, "He is a nice man, and would never dare to try anything without my permission..."

I could feel Zayn nod.

After some seconds of silence, I turned around in his arms so that my back was against the kitchen counter. We stood close, so close that I could feel his breath on my face. The smell of smoke. "What happened then?" He asked, and removed the space between our faces, pressing our foreheads together. Causing our noses to slightly touch each other. 

"Nothing really. He told me he was sorry an-" 

Zayn grimaced, but I ignored it and kept going, "And that he loved me." Once again Zayn grimaced. When he realised that I was done talking, he threw another question at me... "And what did you say?"  

"I said that I would pack my stuff and come back to him," I bit my lower lip, to keep a smirk from growing on my face. Zayn's jaw dropped, and his eyes grew big in disbelief. "Y-you what?" He stuttered, and moved his face away from mine. I held it a little longer, watching the confusion spread over his face, but stopped before the pain showed. "Nah, I'm kidding," I giggled, and slid my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and forcing his face down to my face again. "Oh gosh! Don't do that, Emily! It's not even funny!" He wailed out, but couldn't stop the grin from growing on his face. I chuckled a little to myself,

"I promised to stay, and I am going to. Don't worry..." 

His eyes lighted up, "So you're all mine?"

"I'm all yours." With those words I pressed my lips against his. He moved closer, removing every possible space between our bodies. Our lips danced gently in the same rhythm. His hands moved down to the lowest part of my back, right above my butt. He seemed to have stopped himself from moving them further down, not wanting to ruin the moment, but somehow I craved his touch. The lack of it made me desperate. I needed to feel his body against mine. To feel every inch of his bare skin, colliding with mine. I needed him, though I wasn't allowed to have him in that way just yet. 

It was hard, but I managed to pull away him just before the kiss got overheated. He raised his eyebrows questioningly. 
"No sex, you remember?" I smiled, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before I sneaked out of his grip. Though I didn't make it very far before he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back into his arm. "Fuck that. Fuck the 'no sex'. I need you, and I want you. All of you," He breathed, his eyes gazing deeply into mine. 

I slowly shut my eyes. It sounded good and so right. His voice was seducing and I was weak when it came to him. It would take a lot of I should turn him down, specially when I didn't want to. I wanted him, in the most unromantic yet passionate way. "C'mon... It wouldn't hurt," I shivered when I realised how close he was. His hot breath was tickling my ear, and soon his lips were slightly brushing over my skin right under my ear. "Please, that's all I need," He begged, teasingly pressing his lips against my neck. He left a kiss, and then another one. "Mmhm," Was all I managed to say, as his lips parted slightly and he began sucking on my skin. Sucking, biting, kissing... It was irresitable and I realised that I wouldn't be able to turn him down. 

So I took a deep breath and let it ride. 


Zayn's P.O.V:


I smiled to myself as I felt her relax, and surrender my touch. I was craving everything about her so badly. Her eyes fluttered open as I slowly moved my face away from her neck, where I had left two sensitive purple marks. She shivered as I gently ran my fingertips over them. A smirk grew on my lips, as I realised that I had marked my territory. She was all mine.


I'm such an animal, 
and baby honestly these teeth won't let you go. 

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