The Confusing Questions

This is a sort of mini biography to the Series of Unfortunate Events, where Lucia Snicket delves into her ancestors past to discover the truth of a range of characters that made up the popular series of books her brother, Lemony Snicket wrote.


4. Klaus Baudelaire


Klaus Baudelaire is probably one of the most caring, kind and considerate teenagers I know. Being only the same age as him, I jolly well know a lot of teenage boys who wouldn’t even pick up a book, let alone help a women in labour he had only known a couple of weeks. Yes, as well as being incredibly smart and mature, Klaus Baudelaire helps solve every situation him and his siblings are stuck in, and will always put someone else in need before himself. And if, like me, you have dedicated your life to researching Klaus’ life and where on Earth he might be now, the following might be useful:

What my research team has found out so far is that Klaus was born in between the dates of 1922 – 1928. So that means, if we ever found Klaus again, he wouldn’t be a young boy any more. He was only twelve when his Series of Unfortunate Events start and turns thirteen in book seven while in jail, and has read more books than most people do in a lifetime.

Klaus is known to be very book smart, and remembers and processes nearly everything he reads. He has read almost every book in the Baudelaire library, and has read everything he can in the V.F.D. library in the Mortmain Mountains hideout and everything else he can get his hands on. The only books Klaus doesn’t like is Aunt Josephine’s books on grammar. This makes him an excellent researcher, and his researching skills often help the Baudelaire children to overcome Count Olaf's evil schemes before it is too late.

Klaus wears glasses, and can barely see without them. Like his siblings, he is allergic to peppermints and suffers from a swollen tongue if he consumes just one. Klaus is also afraid of heights, but you can never read about him complain.

Once again, may I remind you unfortunate readers that the Baudelaire’s whereabouts are UNKNOWN! I have had too may letters from silly little eight-year-olds asking where their ‘hero’ Klaus is, as they want to ‘ask for his autograph’. And will I please ‘tell him Bob (example name) said hi when I next see him’. Oh please. I think Klaus deserves a little more respect than that.

And Klaus, if you are reading this, or one of his children or wife, please, please, please report to head quarters! Please! Thank you.

Sorry about that, I just had to take the opportunity. If you are not Klaus, or one of his children, or his wife, just turn the page, begin reading the next chapter and ignore that comment.

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