The Confusing Questions

This is a sort of mini biography to the Series of Unfortunate Events, where Lucia Snicket delves into her ancestors past to discover the truth of a range of characters that made up the popular series of books her brother, Lemony Snicket wrote.


10. Count Olaf's Theatre Troupe


While reading the Series Of Unfortunate Events, you probably realized that Count Olaf picks up supporters like a cleaner picks up rubbish. Once the ‘innocent’ theatre group of five, Count Olaf’s accomplices number up and up, and the sides of V.F.D appear uneven. Some are dangerously evil yet some are unbelievably stupid. I’m afraid this is going to be a rather long chapter, as I have been given the grueling task of recording down their identity, habits, and why they joined this evil association in the first place. To save time, effort and ink I am going to only describe the associates on this page, as I’m sure the others will be popping up later. Unfortunately.


The person who neither looks like a man or a woman is a debatable subject. On one hand, we should feel sorry for this poor creature as he/she/it is continually described throughout the novel as "the creature", "the person", "the massive creature", "the mountainous person" and "the big one". On the other hand, he/she/it IS a member of Count Olaf’s dastardly gang, and therefore completely futile.

The one who neither looks like a man or a woman is also known as Brobdingnagian creature, the person of unknown gender and the person of indeterminate gender, and is so extremely obese that he or she earns the name neither a man nor a woman. However (and I’m not sure whether this is a thing to congratulate or not) he/she is an original troupe member of Count Olaf. Even Olaf and his other henchmen use provoking language that suggests they, too, are unsure of the person's gender. My brother frequently refers to him or her as "the overweight accomplice".

He or she is often seen guarding something for Count Olaf, which is quite obviously due to his/hers size, such as the stairs to the tower in The Bad Beginning, the keys to the sailboats in The Wide Window, and the door to the surgical ward in The Hostile Hospital. Another quite surprising thing that needs more research is the fact that the creature has been shown to have the strength to swing Violet their shoulder with one hand. The other barrier to finding out their identity is that he/she is always shown or said in a blank expression, making it even more difficult to distinguish his or her gender.

The Baudelaire children never heard this person speak, even when others speak to him or her. However, it apparently has some means of communication, as it tells Count Olaf (at this time currently disguised as Captain Sham) that the Baudelaire’s stole a sailboat in The Wide Window. They do hear this person snore in the book, and later Klaus and Sunny heard him or her laugh in The Hostile Hospital. This is described as "an odd laugh that sounded like a squeal and a howl at the same time".

I often find it strange that although Count Olaf’s evil assembly is indescribably nasty, they often have the wit to commit rather clever crimes. What I don’t understand then is how Olaf seems to pick up such weird and stupid people.

In The Hostile Hospital, his or her final appearance, he/she is seen as one of Count Olaf's Hench people, disguised as a guard at Heimlich Hospital, first seen guarding a door where two more of Olaf's associates were hidden. This person does not speak even with his/her friends, as he/she does not speak to Esme Squalor or Klaus and Sunny, whom he/she thinks are the two white-faced women. The creature is the only one absent amongst Olaf's troupe that is trying to capture the Baudelaire’s in the Operating Theatre; however, as they escape, they whizz past him/her. He/she sees them, roars and chases after them, producing the third and final sound it is heard to make. The Baudelaire’s manage to escape from inside a closet, leaving the person inside as the hospital burns to the ground, where he or she perishes. While the hook-handed man and the bald-headed man show regret at the loss of this person, Olaf claims that he or she was a fool and was not worth waiting around for. What a lovely man.


The two powdered -faced women, also frequently referred to, as the white – faced women are again original members of Count Olaf's theatre troupe. Fortunately not much is known of them, so I will not have to go into extensive detail for this last pair of accomplices. Just before I start I would like to mention one thing, they had another sibling who died in a fire. I wonder who could have done that? The women's most distinguishing feature is they always put white make up on their face. They consider their makeup freakish, but it is not said why they still put it on. Their aliases are Tocuna and Flo, which, if combined, is an anagram of Count Olaf.

I realize that by now I have mentioned quite a lot about anagrams in these few chapters. And if you have absolutely completely no idea what I’m talking about and muttering to yourself, “Tocuna? Flo? What the sesame seed is she on about?”

 Getting back to what I was writing about, the women firstly got properly involved in Count Olaf's scheme in The Austere Academy, disguised as two cafeteria workers with metal masks, they watched the Baudelaire’s and Duncan and Isadora Quagmire during the book. At the end, they forced the Quagmires into Count Olaf's automobile and drove away with them.

Tired with Olaf's continuous treachery, in addition to feeling sympathy for Sunny Baudelaire when she was kidnapped, the two sisters left Olaf's troupe in The Slippery Slope. Unfortunately Lemony, or any of my research team for that matter, does not know what happened to the women after they walked away in the mountains, despite countless days of constant searching and frostbitten feet, though there are many rumors about their fate. One rumor, told in The Slippery Slope, said that they lived in the mountain, but the location is unknown.


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