The Confusing Questions

This is a sort of mini biography to the Series of Unfortunate Events, where Lucia Snicket delves into her ancestors past to discover the truth of a range of characters that made up the popular series of books her brother, Lemony Snicket wrote.


1. The Contrary Confusion


Contrary as you know means opposed, difficult or wrong. For example, if I was having a conversation with Mr. Poe about the Baudelaire orphan’s lives and I said, “Their childhood was filled with sadness and dread.” And Mr. Poe interrupted me saying, “No Lucia, the Baudelaire’s lives were packed with fun, joy and loving memories. And don’t you dare say I’m wrong or I’ll stomp off and sulk in my room.” Mr. Poe would not only be being contrary, but also wrong. Anyone who is anyone knows that the orphan’s lives were packed with anything but fun. Memories yes, but certainly not loving ones.

Anyway, you may be wondering why this first chapter is called ‘The contrary confusion’. The simple answer is, nobody knows who I am. Yes, you know who my brothers are, my sister is, my Goddaughter is and of course who my dear friends, the Baudelaires, are. My name is Lucia Snicket. I was kidnapped as a baby so I do not know who my parents are, but luckily I have my siblings, the Baudelaires and V.F.D. Most of my family and friends have led very unfortunate lives, my brother Lemony for instance he was sent on seemingly pointless V.F.D missions, fell in love, got engaged but got sent back the ring and a 200 page book in which why the lady could not marry. Lemony has also got the police after him, and has been framed for countless crimes including murder and arson. Eventually the stakes got too high and my poor brother had no other choice but to fake his own death and go to hide in a deserted unknown place and record his lover’s children’s unfortunate tale. Wherever he is. Anywhere. In other words, I do not have a single clue to where he is now.

My eldest brother, Jacques, is even worse off than poor Lemony. A long while back, in the Village of Fowl Devotes, Jacques got mistaken for the treacherous Count Olaf and put in prison. Before he could be burnt at the stake he was fatefully murdered by yes, you’ve guessed it, COUNT OLAF. This story might be easier to write if I just scrawl Count Olaf all the way down the page. He will be popping up a lot, I can tell you that now.

And finally, my sister, and the second eldest sibling is Kit, whom I’ve never met. She was always involved with some violent Schism all the time, probably to busy to see me, or even not knowing she had a sister. But that doesn’t matter now. Because Kit is dead. Giving birth to the beautiful Beatrice Baudelaire, my niece, not to be confused with Violet, Klaus and Sunny’s Mother who was also a wonderful person I never met.

All participators of members of V.F.D, my siblings and I fought hard to protect it, it’s members and it’s terrible secrets. Fighting what for exactly? I don’t know. Maybe I won’t ever know. All I know is I’ve spent my whole life fighting for V.F.D, and now it’s time to stop.

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