Pineal Discharge

Short stories. Unrelated scenes of violence and bizarre vignettes.
Some(most) of these stories contain graphic violence,sexual content and drug use. Also , lots of fucking language and shit. So yeah , viewer discretion is advised? Not for children. Unless you're one of THOSE children.
Yeah , you know who you are.


Wait...what?

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4. The Wife Swap Slaughter

Yeah , I was disappointed. Disappointed to the point of random violence. But...seriously. What the fuck was I thinking? Did I really think being on television would make me happy? Yeah , I guess I did. I guess I was pretty fucking stupid. I guess my "become famous at all costs" mentality was counter productive. That's really the understatement of the year. I've always wanted to be famous. Ever since I was a little kid. I saw celebrities in their big , fuck off cars and houses. Always surrounded by people who adored them for no apparent reason other than the fact that they were celebrities. I wanted that. I wanted that more than anything else. I was willing to take credit for something someone else did , just so I could have the limelight all to myself. No sharing. I signed up to be on a wife swap show. I wasn't married , but they needed someone to play a husband. Oh yeah , ALL of those shows are fucking staged. Written , rehearsed , acted...completely fake. Any altercation that takes place , FAKE. Any crying or drama as a result of said altercation , FAKE. Every single person appearing on camera is an actor. Because seriously , no one in their right mind would swap wives with someone else for two weeks , It'd be hell.  Anyways , losing track of myself here. I was a husband on the show and my job was to(besides what we had rehearsed)act like a douche. Easy as fucking pie. It was all going great , until my co star got dead. She got rrrrreeeeaaaalllll dead.  They found her on the sunday of the second week , with her throat , larynx , esophagus and tonsils ripped out. I say ripped because that's what the guy who did the autopsy said. This was my chance. I wasn't the culprit , but I could sure as hell pretend I was. The tabloids went wild. "The Wife Swap Slaughter" they called it. I was a fucking celebrity. Before I knew it . I had fanclubs , groupies sending naked pics to my jail cell , letters saying how I really stuck it to the man and how I was a major inspiration and shit like that. I was on top of the world.  And then I was found not guilty.  Everything went down the crapper. The letters and pictures stopped. People thought I was a sick individual(although that isn't very far from the truth). I was admitted to a mental institution shortly after the shit hit the fan. I hated it. But I don't blame them for putting me in there. Knowing what I know now I would've done the same thing. You see one day , I got a visitor. The real murderer. I recognized him as one of the cameramen from the show. Kind of an ugly fucker. He said that I had balls , but that I was no killer. He went on about how I was not significant enough to commit the perfect crime. About how I was a stupid , worthless narcissist who should just go die. I didn't like him talking about me that way...so I lunged at him. I got him by the back of his hair and began to pound his head into the floor. I kept pounding until all I had between my hands was a jumbled mess of brains , blood , bone , hair and what was left of his face. I had pounded all the way through the back of his head to his face. I looked guilty as fucking shit. When Interrogated I lied and said that he was there to kill me and that I killed him in self defense. And ya'know what? They believed me. Apparently he HAD been there to kill me. He had been packing a .45 in his long coat. Stupid fucker , gave me the perfect alibi. I was released shortly after.

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