Dealers anonymous

Gary Swift a heartless drug dealer, who has spent his whole life in the hard world of hackney. Brought up on Gangs,drugs and violence he is considered royalty in this dark and unforgiving world. Always respected, never doubted by the youths who roam these streets.armed and unfraid.In a worlwind of events Gary has no choice but to realize this is not the life he wants and tries to leave, but once your in Hackney, you can't get out.


6. chapter five


He had passed out before, just once he had been ten years old he was pure, untouched – just a little boy. The air was so crisp on that day, the open coffin had frightened him and although they had made her up in her favorite dress a beautiful satin red knee length number and they had even curled her long  dark brown hair- the same colour as Gary's he had never forgotten how horrifying she looked. His mother, his best friend his dad was not interested in academics so his mother was his rock, he had loved her more than anything else in the world and never quite filled the hole that she had created in his shattered heart.

 the week after that he had his first counseling session with Mrs. Wicks an old woman who seemed to know everything, she had told Gary how to control his growing anxiety “count too ten” she had soothed, she had put on relaxing ocean noises and lay him down on her comfy sofa bed in her office, she had told him to think about the bad things and pair them with good things in his life so whenever he was down he could easily think of ways to deal with it, he must say it had made matters worse, so by the time he was 16 he was on bouts of anxiety pills and after his dad went missing he cancelled his sessions all together and him and Michael moved to hackney.

Gary woke up in a room that had pale yellow walls, and stained coffee cups on a large wooden desk. A man was standing over him holding a large glass of water filled with ice he calmly passed it too Gary who clutched it confused.

“Hello Mr. swift my name is Liam I’m head of the morgue” he reached out to shake Gary’s warm hand. Gary slapped it away much like you would to an annoying fly,” I just wanted to discuss some things about Mr. Krine’s state” Gary nodded swallowing the water with effort “where I... Where’s Matthew “? Questioned Gary, he asked this with rising anger in his voice “ Liam shook his head and sat down next to Gary, “ well Gary you passed out in the autopsy room, you didn’t identify the body for us, we just need a signature and you can leave, we’ll give you numbers for counselors don’t worry”

“Matthew?” he leaned forward hopeful.

“Gary sit back in the chair, relax w-w-we have numbers err”… Liam looked timid, he adjusted his tiny bronze rimmed glasses... the size difference between them was obvious , Liam was just a polite, young morgue director he had no business bothering a big time hackney drug dealer.

“I want to see him, I don’t need a fucking counselor who the fuck do you think I am bruv some fucking homo”? Gary stood up and paced, he slammed the cup down on the table; water splattered everywhere, “I’m fine”

“You don’t look fine Mr. Swift perhaps you should sit down for a bit, I only want t-to –h-help”

“I’ll shoot you if you come any closer blud. Don’t think I won’t”

“Mr. s-w-wift I-i-I”, He was stuttering, shaking and didn’t know where to look, he reached inside himself for that firm voice he needed, “I will restrain you if I have to we have police onsite” He sounded firm but his hands shook

Gary Swift reached for the large cup of water on the table and Liam stepped back anxious, Gary felt bemused by the terror in Liam’s voice, and aimed the cheap porcelain cup at the wall behind him, a shabby aim yet a strong throw, Bits of ice went everywhere and a large puddle began to form on the old decayed carpet.

 Liam breathed furiously, and grasped for the phone that lay on the table “I’m ringing the police “! he announced this in such a voice that he expected Gary to quiver back in the corner terrified instead Gary looked straight in his shocked eyes, “please do…”.

There was now a heavy crowd of staff at the staffroom door, all looking at Gary with some sort of disappointment, they were either scared for Liam, surprised that Gary had done such an aggressive thing, But some just looked sympathetic, there main commodity was grief.

Everyone knew his story which had travelled fast for being so obscure and so crazy… hackney was used to men being gunned down, men dying from fights with a rival gang, men dying from being knifed but a crazed drugged up man with no real background and a friend who loved him like a brother… it was rare.

 “Maybe he wasn’t ready to see the body “Lisa from the front desk whispered to Hannah from the cremation centre. A flash of Blond hair suddenly appeared in the crowd, bright blond voluptuous hair, “Lucy” Gary mouthed this as if she was his complete reassurance, she had appeared when he needed someone the most, and suddenly she was here, and she didn’t look angry with him, she like many others had this perplexed look of sympathy on her face.

Liam walked out,” – I was just going to call your boyfr-“, Lucy stopped him by simply raised her hand, a gesture that could come across rude but with Lucy he just walked towards the door his face slightly ashen coloured, she sat down on the saggy sofa that Gary was now positioned on, his eyes transfixed on the puddle that was now larger due to the many bits of ice melting in the heated room.

 She cleaned the coffee cups and filled them with hot water and made Gary and herself coffee,

“But I didn’t ask for coffee” Gary shook his head confused.           “Drink it. You need it” she replied they drank there coffee in silence and she began speaking in her soft tones again and wrote down her number and smiled “you know Gary. I see men like you every single day.

Hundreds “                                           

“Men like what “Gary asked he lifted his head up slowly

“Well...” Lucy began “men who go through life in one of the hardest areas in London, you lose family and make friends and soon friends become your family, and so when you lose them its twice as hard” she looked straight at him again “I don’t know what it is Gary but I want to spend time with you I want to help you” she looked up at him from under her eyelashes. He cocked his head to the side “ and I want to say, I’m sorry I broke your fucking cup” she laughed and he studied her again the way he studied himself every morning in his shitty mirror  he couldn’t help but wonder why she liked him, he never had time for woman because the drugs dominated his life. Love wasn’t something in Gary's vocabulary his phone suddenly vibrated loudly and he frowned the text message was from Tommy maze demanding to see him. She stood up and brushed down her skirt and pressed the piece of paper into his hand “call me Gary” she smiled and led him out of the building. Gary was happy, and thanked Matthew for bringing him to this, he knew he would get over it in time but couldn’t quite do it just yet, he knew he would though because he was strong, stronger than people thought.

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