One step too far

She just a girl, a cutter, hates herself, is bullied, is abused, but all the same she is a girl

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1. Me

"Slut"

"Bitch"

"Fat Ass"

"Freak"

"Loser"

"No one wants you here you ugly bitch why don't you just go die!"

Those words just keep echoing in my head. What have I ever done to deserve this? I guess I should explain. My name is Ocean Jackson. I know, I have a very strange name. I am a victim of bullying. A victim of abuse. A victim of myself. Everyone says I am ugly. Everyone says I am worthless. If everyone says it, it must be true. When will someone see me for me? I wasn't always so hopeless. I used to have friends. I used to be popular. But it all changed when my best friend's boyfriend kissed me. He kissed me and I tried to push him off but no one believed me when I said that. My best friend at the time, Sydney Greenwood, totally bitch slapped me. She started telling rumors about me that were not true, but what hurt the most was the fact that she was my best friend. When I realized it was her whom was making up all the stupid rumors I was heartbroken. I couldn't trust people anymore. She destroyed me. But then that day I got kissed my mom died, and I was so upset. Let's just say my dad didn't take it too well either... He started to abuse me. He told me the same things the kids at school told me. I was a fat ugly whore who deserves to die. Where has the world gone? It's destroying me. A few weeks later I did a really stupid thing. I started to cut myself. I hated it. Even now when I look at what I do to myself I hate it. I am still me when I cut. I know what I am doing. It looks so ugly when I'm done. I could have stopped myself. But not once have I. I love the pain I end up feeling from the cut. The stinging is so real. But after it doesn't sting anymore I regret it... Will somebody save me? Or will I die with someone taking the pain one step too far?

 

 

 

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