Gotta Be You

Callie is a normal fifteen year old, who like many dream of meeting British/Irish boyband sensation One Direction. But when her clueless father and evil step-mother force her to come on a 'bonding' holiday in the sunny island of Fiji, Callie gets caught up in a whirlwind of excitement when she learns that the 5 members of 1D are staying in her resort. As she experiences romance, friendship, betrayal and facing the past, Callie learns that sometimes it doesn't just take One Thing to have the best summer ever, but maybe five...

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6. Up All Night

I wondered what caused me to reach the edge of reason. Maybe it was Fiji, with it's glistening sun, calm crystal waves and calm, relaxing atmosphere. Maybe it was destiny, that on this date of this month in this year, that I would reach breaking point and seriously consider the truth about my life. But something told me that it was those 5 boys, the mayhem and confusion and fun and frustration and familiarity they brought, that pushed me over the edge. But my emotions got mixed up and jumbled and the pain in my chest I couldn't shake off just grew and grew and escalated into a massive aching hole in my life. In my heart.
I laid on my bed for hours and hours, just thinking and thinking about what got me to this stage. I cried more, then stopped. Then cried a little again. I did this on and off all evening. When Vivienne came to my room, she was shocked to see me huddled on the bed, tears running down my cheeks. She was just about to call for my Dad when she hesitated. What happened next surprised me even more than seeing One Direction on the plane, she sat on my bed and embraced me in a giant bear-hug. I was so shocked I stopped crying. I thought Vivienne might not want me to get damp stains on her crisp, chiffon shirt, but she still held me tightly. It was surprisingly comforting. It reminded me of my mother.
"Shhh, it's okay" she said soothingly, rocking me like I was a baby. But that's what I felt like.
I didn't know how long Dad was standing at the door for, but I'm glad he stayed away. For once in the time of known Vivienne, I felt like she might actually be trying. Dad joined us on the bed and they both waited patiently for me to begin.
"I can't do this anymore" I breathed, drying my eyes with the handkerchief Vivienne gave me. "I feel like everyone is trying to make it like I never even existed"
Dad's eyebrows wrinkled.
"I don't understand"
I took a deep breath, and somehow I got the courage to explain, with Vivienne patting me encouragingly on the back.
"This isn't me. The London townhouse, the posh private school with people I really can't stand, the false idea that I'm getting used to it."
"It's not fair, Dad. How do you expect to pluck me out of everything I know and everyone I love and me to be perfectly happy with this new life?"
Dad looked grief-stricken, and was too choked up to speak. So Vivienne spoke for him.
"Cal, we...we had no idea"
And I believed her. Because up until now, I don't think I knew either.
"I just miss everything" I said, another tear escaping and cascading down my face onto the bed-sheet.
"We all knew it would be hard..." Dad said, after finding his voice again.
"This isn't hard, it's bloody impossible!" I exclaimed angrily. "After everything, everything I had to get used to, all the pain..."
I was shouting now. But I didn't care, I was hurt.
"I finally was able to find comfort in my life, living in our house, being with my friends, going to my school... I feel like one of the most important people in my life left me once, because she had no choice. She was ill, it wasn't her fault. But we left everyone we loved, by choice. And James..."
I burst into a fit of tears again as I thought of him. I realised this was the first time I said his name aloud in a long time.
There was a long heavy silence, which gave me a chance to regain my composure. I calmed down a lot after that.
"Why didn't you tell us all this?" Vivienne asked gently.
"Because..." After I said this next bit, I realised how true it really was. "...because if I spoke a word of it, it would be true. And the guard I've been building up this past year would come crumbling down. Everything would come out. And I couldn't handle that."
Vivienne nodded understandingly.
"But you can handle it, Callie" She smiled. "Hey, you had the willpower to tell Harry Styles shut up, you can do anything"
I laughed through the tears, which had rapidly changed from a waterfall to a trickling broken tap.
"Callie, why didn't you just talk to James, he's asked for you so many times that it's uncountable. You kept saying no, you were busy"
But even as Dad said this, him and Vivienne both looked at each other, realising what I was saying about my guard crumbling down applied here too.
"Honey, you can't look at things like that"
"I know"
I knew that you couldn't just let all the things un-dealt with pile up until theres just too much, and it all comes crashing down.
"Okay, it's late" My dad said, glancing at the alarm clock on my dresser. "We'll talk about things more later, but right now you need sleep"
So they tucked me in and Dad kissed me on the forehead, like he used to do when I was little. They turned off the light, and I was left to my thoughts. But as soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep. Maybe it was the exhaustion of crying for hours on end, or a years worth of anger and loneliness coming out in one conversation. I didn't know what would happen now, if anything would happen at all. But one thing was certain, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I thought I would have been up all night feeling the wrath of venting out my entire burden. But it wasn't like that. I felt lighter. I felt free.

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