Why I love you

My obsession with FRERARD (MCR) now continues with fanfiction :)
Warning on explicit material.

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14. What are friends for?

Frank’s POV

There had been so much blood. Too much blood. That’s how I had known it was a blood cut, Gerard had cut his jugular vein. It was just the fuckers luck to have someone who’s Mum was a nurse outside of his fucking bathroom!

“Mikey, call an ambulance,” I shouted over my shoulder, wiping the tears away with the back of my hand. I couldn’t get distracted now, he was not going to leave me. Not like this. I heard hurried footsteps run down the stairs two at a time.

“Mrs Way! I need towels now, lots. We need to stop the cut bleeding out!”

Towels were quickly thrusted into my hands and I took the first one and held it down hard onto Gerard’s throat. I had tried not to look at him, up until now but as I pushed all my weight down on an area just above the gash on his throat, I caught his eyes with mine. Not that he was moving his eyes, they were rested on my face but I don’t think he could see me. The blood had already soaked through the towel so I quickly swapped it for a fresh one.

“Gerard, can you hear me, honey?”

No response. I would have asked his Mum to come over and try but I could hear her shrieking from the hall and decided that if Gerard was to survive this thing, he needed everyone to be calm around him. Footsteps on the stairs told me Mikey was about to come in.

“Mikes, stay out there, okay? I don’t think you should see Gee right now!”

I tried to keep my voice level but I had started to cry again. I used my shoulder to try and clear my eyes of tears as my hands were still gripping the towel to his bleeding throat. What if I was wrong? What if he hadn’t cut his jugular vein, maybe he had cut a blood vessel? Maybe I was doing the wrong thing? Maybe I was helping him to die?!

“The ambulance is right round the corner!” Mikey’s voice was distant from outside the door.

I could hear the sirens from the bathroom as they pulled up outside the house. Gee hadn’t thought this through at all. The local hospital may not be equipped for surgery but he was not going to die! He couldn’t die. Couldn’t leave us all like this! A pair of rough hands shoved me out of the way, replacing my hands at Gee’s throat. Gee was quickly put onto a stretcher and carried outside. Everything was a blur as he was carried away. Blood soaked the bathroom floor making me slip as I ran after the medics. In the back of the ambulance, Gerard was put on oxygen and thick bandages replaced the towels at his throat. They were about to shut the doors when I pushed myself into the ambulance with the medics, leaving Mikey and his Mum behind. In that moment, I didn’t care. All that mattered was Gerard.

“You can hold his hand, if you like. Try speaking to him, we’ll be at the hospital soon.”

I nodded to the medic, not looking at him, only focusing on Gee. His face was sodden with blood and his pale complexion was even paler than usual. His eyes were still focused on my face though I hadn’t seen him blink yet. His chest seemed to moving up and down but that could have just been my imagination. I couldn’t see his mouth behind the oxygen mask but could tell from the rest of his face that it would have been a grimace on his lips. My baby lay broken and unfixable on the stretcher. Medics rushed around him, checking his oxygen and reapplying bandages to his throat.

“Hey, Gee, baby. Can you hear me?”

I tried once, only to receive silence except for the beeps of machines.

“I love you, okay? You’re not leaving me like this!”

More silence. My tears fell on the blankets which had been laid hurriedly on his body.

“We caught you out, motherfucker… You really didn’t think this through, you know! Hospital round the corner, ambulance down the road! If there is a God, he doesn’t want you to die just yet. You are not going to die today!”

The words had started off as whispers but my end sentence was strong and loud, echoing round the quiet ambulance. The medics wouldn’t look me in the eyes as we drove on and halted outside the hospital. More medics were waiting, their shiny coats looking thrown on wrong as if an emergency had surprised them all. Gee was lifted away from me, our hands ripped apart suddenly. I thought I had felt his grip tighten on my hand as I had tried to claw him back to me.

A blond nurse stood at the entrance smiling broadly at me, holding out her hand to grab me as I tried to stumble after the group of medics.

“Now darling, wait here. Let the doctors do their job.”

Her smile seemed odd in this situation. Her bright lipstick out of place in the squeaky clean hospital waiting room.

“Can I call someone for you? Is anyone else coming?”

I shook my head then nodded before shrugging, not knowing how to answer her questions. My mouth was dry and my brain could only think of one thing, Gee, Gee, Gee. The word sounded to the beat of my own heart, which was beating so fast I thought soon it might break out of my chest.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Just breathe!”

I hadn’t realised I was breathing so hard until her hand reached out to stroke my back. I could feel my long nails scratching at it as she shushed my cries of ‘Gee’. She was used to this obviously, it was her job but the nails down my back made me squirm and I had to stand up to get away from her.

“I need to call someone for you. How about your Mum? Your Dad?”

My Mum or my Dad?! Now that was a laugh. I shook my head then suddenly thought of Mikey and his Mum. They might have got into their car in time to follow  the ambulance or they might have been too late to catch the speeding van as it carried on its route down the grim pavement covered lanes, leaving them far behind. I hurriedly nodded and quietly stuttered out their house phone number. I expected her to ask me it again or to give me a pen and paper to write it down, not that I suspected I could hold a pen in my shaking hands, but she just nodded and quick marched down the hallway. I suppose that was her job too. Along with comforting the grieving family and friends of those passed on. I pulled my knees against my chest and rested my chin there, breathing in and out slowly. Another nurse came over to me, trying to quieten me down as once again I burst into tears.

She hugged me, her nails thankfully shorter than those of her colleague. She must have been a mother as she knew exactly how to hold me so I was nestled into her shoulder. The sounds that escaped my mouth could hardly be heard by others in the waiting room and soon I ran out of breath, gasping for air as her hair and uniform covered my mouth and nose. I had to stop crying to breathe as I pulled my head away from her, gasping for oxygen. My cries had stopped and I was calm. She smirked at me a little, maybe it was an old trick to stop patients disturbing her quiet waiting room.

“I hear you did very well to help the boy. Thank God he had someone like you in his life to help him when he needed it most, ah?”

I tried to smile at her but she had no idea how much what she had said had hurt me. I hadn’t been there when Gee had needed me. I hadn’t tried to stop him cutting. Hadn’t done the right thing at all. If I had then I wouldn’t be sitting in a hospital waiting room and Gee wouldn’t be bleeding from the neck while surgeons prodding him with their sharp metal instruments.

“How did you know him?”

I tried not to panic at the use of the word ‘did’. She didn’t seem to notice her mistake or else maybe it wasn’t a mistake. I didn’t know.

“I’m his … Friend.”

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