Why I love you

My obsession with FRERARD (MCR) now continues with fanfiction :)
Warning on explicit material.

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12. My boyfriend

Gerard’s POV

“Come over here and sit down guys,” Ray’s voice was the first to speak. Mikey nodded and guided Frank with his hand towards a pile of cushions to one side, opposite me. Frank looked straight ahead, ignoring all of us, just glancing back at Mikey to check he was following. Mikey smiled at Frank’s slightly anxious gaze and pushed him down into the cushions before sitting himself beside him. Frank just sat looking down at his hands. He looked perfect as ever, even with the frown on his face now as the silence grew again. Only his eyes were red and rimmed with sadness, he had been crying. Maybe that’s where Mikey had gone? Made sense, I guess. I wanted to thank Mikey again for everything he had done for Frank. I should have done those things. Held him while he cried, stroked his cheek bones and raised his head to look into his eyes. Kissed the salty tears away until he laughed breaking the spell of sadness over him. Looking at him now, you would have never have guessed he could smile. That he had smiled, I had made him laugh. Made him cry with joy when I had made him a mix tape of all our favourite songs. He had laughed so hard when he heard my nervous voice on the first track. He had kissed me tenderly as I declared the first song to him, it had been a jokey one ‘My Heart will go on’ and we had danced to it. Him standing on my feet and us twirling, our lips locked. I had never been so happy. But this wasn’t the same boy. Not anymore.

“Mikey, why don’t you start?” Ray asked calmly, his eyes looking at the pair who had just sat down.

Mikey nodded, giving a weak smile and opening his mouth before closing it again, frowning. Frank was tense, his shoulders strained. Bob and Alisha were as confused as I was but they at least knew to keep their mouths shut and their thoughts to themselves. Suddenly Frank’s hand reached out and held Mikey’s, stroking his open palm with his fingers.

“You can say it, Mikey,” he spoke into Mikey’s ear, “I believe in you!”

For a moment, my heart stopped in my chest. I watched as Frank used his other hand to stroke Mikey’s back making him shiver slightly. The way I used to react to his touch, the way he had stroked me. Mikey opened his mouth again, this time speaking.

“Frank and I…” Mikey paused again, looking pleadingly at Frank for help.

Frank smiled at him, a tender loving smile.

“We’re together!”

There was silence before everyone turned to me. Even Frank. He looked into my eyes and I saw the blank, uncaring look which stared back. He had never loved me. I couldn’t let him see me cry. I staggered to my feet and tried to calmly exit the room. My tears had already began to fall, everyone could see my misery. A sob came out of my throat, causing Mikey to create a similar room from somewhere to my left. I felt a hand try to grab me and turned to see my baby brother in tears next to me.

“Gerard, I love you!” You can only just hear the words over his sobs. I waited for the pang of guilt, the feeling of my heart tearing in two, I felt nothing. I shoved his hand away from me. He tried to grab me again. This time I shoved his chest, causing him to fall over, breaking his glasses on the floor. Frank was instantly on his feet, running to Mikey.

“Gerard…” Ray’s voice was shocked but before he could say anything, I had walked over to Frank who was on his knees by my brother. I pulled him up by his shirt. He didn’t respond, his feet only just touching the floor. The dead looking expression faced me again causing me to shake. I hated him so much. If I had had a weapon, I would have been the last sight Frank had seen.

“Go on Gerard. Hit me again, why don’t you?!”

His words sparked more tears from my eyes. I dropped him next to my brother.

“Fuck you, Frank!” I screamed; my voice full of hatred.

My tears clouded my eyes. Somehow I found the exit.

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