Why I love you

My obsession with FRERARD (MCR) now continues with fanfiction :)
Warning on explicit material.

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22. Halfway out of the dark

Frank’s POV

If this was my way out then so be it. This darkness was signaling the end of my life. The numbness was soothing on my skin and the darkness seemed to caress me lovingly. It filled the gaps where clumps of hair were missing from my head and it gently rubbed my skin, careful not to touch the wounds which the shards of glass had forced open. I think I’ve stopped bleeding now so that was a good thing. Or was it? If the blood was keeping me alive then let it run out of me. Let me be free of this world. I thought of Gerard and wondered if he had been somewhere like this before he’d come back from the brink of death. If suicide led to this place, then I could see the attraction in death. Death was kind. The world was not. And yet even as I lie here, the darkness cool against my skin, I know I’m not going to die. I have to accept that. The darkness will go away and I will be lying face down on the living floor with a pool of my own blood surrounding me. Dad will be gone and I will be left to tidy the house. I will need to go to hospital I think, coughing up blood surely can’t be a good thing, after all! But it was nothing fatal I was sure.

Fireworks sparkled in front of my eyes, causing the blackness to fade and flashes of white to enter my eyes. I closed my eyes to allow them to adjust to the sudden light. I felt warmth on my face and could feel droplets of water fall onto my cheek from above. Was I still in my living room? Yes, I thought so as I could feel my sticky blood still around me. So what was the water? Was I crying? I felt for pain but couldn’t feel anything now. I was happily numb. Well that can’t be good! Maybe I was in more trouble than I first thought. So what about the water…

“Frank, can you hear me?”

My eyes snapped open at the noise. Could it be… It sounded like…

The sad looking boy that was crying tears of sorrow onto my face was none other than Mikey. Why was he here? I looked into his face and wondered if this was real or a dream.  I must have looked confused because he pushed his glasses further up onto his nose and he smiled at me.

“I’m sorry … I came to apologize for yesterday. I was horrible, I was just angry about everything and … I really am sorry. You did a bad thing but that didn’t mean you deserved to be treated like I treated you. And you didn’t deserve this, Frankie!”

He gestured to where I lay, crumbled on the floor. I tried to move my neck to glance down at the rest of my body but only ended up screaming in pain as the last shards of reality fell into place. Mikey’s hand pushed my head back down gently.

“Shhh, now! My mum brought me here, she’s outside and she’s called you an ambulance, okay? You have to go to hospital, Frank.”

I tried to respond to him but felt a burning sensation in my throat. I remembered and the blood which was still inside my body rushed to my face. I remembered swallowing his cum and his hard skin choking me. I looked at Mikey, his eyes kind and his figure stooped protectively over me. I didn’t deserve him, I didn’t deserve saving. I was pathetic.

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