Why I love you

My obsession with FRERARD (MCR) now continues with fanfiction :)
Warning on explicit material.


2. Are you okay?

Gerard's POV:

We sat in silence around the dinner table all facing each other. The silence was beginning to cut through my chest like a knife, an invisible scar to match the ones which were real when Frank spoke up.

"Lovely food, Mrs Way," he smiled up from his place, shoving more pasta inside his mouth to prove his point. My Mum's eyebrows seemed to raise a little at this but at least she tried to smile.

"Thank you, dear," the smile was thin as the cold words flowed through the air. The silence became unbearable then. The hurt lingered on Frankie's face for a second before he looked down at his pasta and finished his portion, not speaking for the rest of the meal. My heart thumped in my chest to see him like this, the beat of it quickening whenever he glanced up quickly catching my eyes before looking back down at his plate. We had been officially going out for two months but my Mum still wouldn't accept I was gay. It was hard for her, I got that. The same way it was hard for her that I was bullied, hard that I hid upstairs alone, hard that I had one real friend, who also happened to be my boyfriend. But she would have to deal with it at some point. It hurt Frank to not be accepted as though he was as much of a misfit as me, he oozed confidence and despite us being at the same school for the same amount of time, he had made friends. Bob and Ray were his best friends, good musicians in their own right, brilliant even, famous throughout the school. But I just couldn't talk to people properly like a normal human being, not really, not even to Mikey anymore. I could only talk to Frank.

Mikey speedily talked about his day and school. Some new kid. The music lesson he had today. Mum wasn't really listening, staring at a space on the wall behind Frank, who sat opposite her. The sound of Mikey's voice was better than the silence that was sure to come if he didn't. The meal ended, the plates stacked, thanks said before the three of us walked up the stairs and went into Mikey's room. Mikey ran for the bean bag laughing as Frank collapsed on top of him, trying to get the seat for himself. I stood watching them, not feeling like I could really join in, perching instead on Mikey's bed, hunched and lost in my thoughts for a second. A second was all I got before a small concerned face appeared under my ducked one, the eyes full of love almost pink with overwhelming feelings for me. I smiled at Frank before quickly covering it with my hair. So the sentiment wasn't completely lost, I reached for his face and stroked his cheek. It was soft and warm against my hand. He seemed to purr for a second lusting in my touch before he reached up and grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently. He sat down on the bed beside me, making me wince again, but I tried to cover it up, Frank's eyes miss nothing.

"I'll set the X-Box, okay?" Mikey looked excited at the prospect of playing with Frank. I never played with him anymore so why shouldn't he be?

"Okay, sure," Frank grinned at Mikey, showing his pearly white teeth, a smile I wish I had. He turned to me as if asking permission to which I nodded enthusiastically, trying to hide any jealousy I felt for that friendship between Mikey and Frank. Not well enough apparently because suddenly there was a quiet "Be right back" from Frankie before his arm led mine out of Mikey's room and into the hallway.

"You okay?" The eyes were instantly on me, drilling into me, despite the fact I was taller than him. If I heard those words again I would snap. But instead of snapping I tried to smile at him, nodding. The frown which followed my smile as I realised I had once again shown the true ugliness which lay beneath my skin, seemed to make him unhappy. His smile faltered.

"Then smile!" He jokingly used his fingers to make me smile which only made me pull away in irritation at the gesture. He looked sad before covering it up, just like he had at dinner, except this time with a look of mischievousness.

"You know, while we have a few minutes," he grinned cheekily, sending my head spinning. His hands found my hips and gripped them tightly, rubbing his hands down my sides before settling them on my back. His eyes found mine and looked right into my soul and I sighed. He closed his eyes and breathed in fully as if to inhale my scent. His lips found mine and the warmth spread through me, starting from my lips but seeming to reach all the way down to my toes. His tongue slid its way into my mouth, playing a game with my own tongue, a game of tag around own lips. I opened my eyes, which I didn't remember shutting in the first place, my mind lost in Frankie's, to see his eyes looking back at me. The eyes were full of lust and his perfect skin felt right against mine as he pulled away from my mouth and lay his head on my shoulder. It fit perfectly there, as if he was made to be there, as if we were made for each other.

I kissed the top of his head, breathing him in and stroking his fringe down over his forehead. The boy used too much hair gel, one day it would ruin his hair but he wouldn't be Frank without it! We stood like that for a while, happy in each other's company. Suddenly, he jumped up onto my hips, his legs wrapped around me and his eyes laughing at the shock which must have shown on my face. The shock, then pain at the extra weight which my legs had gained. The pain from the scars invisible to all but me. He looked like he was about to say something when Mikey's door opened.

"Ughh ... Seriously guys! Outside my bedroom!" Mikey pretended to puke, grinning at own position. I felt my face flush pink but when I looked at Frank, he only gave my brother the finger and met my lips with his for a brief moment just to see Mikey's reaction. To this Mikey rolled his eyes and turned back to his room.

"Fine, you guys stay out here. I'll call Ray," he murmured to himself. Ray was everyone's friend, well except mine obviously. I looked at Frank to see what he would do. He jumped off me and skipped along the hall to my bedroom. I followed after him and entered to see him lying on my bed suggestively, one eyebrow cocked. I tried not to laugh at him, not wanting to see the hurt expression on his face again. Instead I ran to the bed, ignoring the pain I felt as I flopped on the bed beside him.

He rolled his eyes at me and jumped off the bed to shut the door before turning back to me, still with one eyebrow cocked.

"Let's get started, sugar," The husky voice sent shivers down my body.

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