Last First Kiss [DISCONTINUED]

Drama, Love and One Direction, Hally has what every directioner could ever want, but is it all it's made up to be?


71. Scars




"Now, Hally, how long have you been feeling this way?"

spoke my therapist, hands in lap and face blank with no expression or emotion,

"About half a year now."

I said in a hushed tone, scared that anyone else would hear,

"And do you know how this may have came about? The depression and self harming?"

I shook my head and sat thinking for a minute, brain screaming thousands of possible things to say,

"It's all my body image really."

I whispered, finally managing to find the most honest answer, clearing my throat slightly after I'd finished talking,

"When did you first start self harming?"

"When I first started feeling the depression properly, so half a year."

"Can you describe how you feel, on a normal day."

"Fat, ugly, hopeless, disgusting."

I muttered, shivering with nerves, I'd never been very conversational with my feelings or subjects that were generally a no-go, something that I shy away from,

"Can you show me these cuts?"

the Therapist said loudly, his eyes flicking up from the clipboard full of scribbled writing, I froze immediately. I wanted to scream at him, no. He couldn't see them,

"Hally, can I see your cuts now, please?"

I was hesitant to but I knew he wouldn't leave me alone if I didn't, I was also in danger of bursting into another breakdown if I carried on any longer. Slowly, I grabbed hold of my left sleeve and lifted it up slowly, feeling the tickle of the cuff brush over the scars and fresh cuts, I pulled it up to above my elbow where I let the sleeve rest. He observed my arm, holding onto my wrist and turning my arm, observing it before resting it back onto the armrest and scribbling down at least half a page full of writing onto the other side of the paper, suddenly he spoke,

"You know these scars won't fade? Nor will they tan in the summer. This is more serious than I thought Hally, you need immediate help."







"I love her so much Niall."

I said down the phone, Niall always understood love so much better than all the other boys, except Liam who was equally as knowledgeable, 

"Look mate, if you believe in her, and she believes in you, then you'll both get through this. If anything this experience will make your relationship stronger."

he spoke confidently, just as I expected him to be,

"But Niall, her arms will be covered in scars for our wedding."

"And? Does it matter if her arms have scars? Harry, she didn't want all this to happen."

"I know, but..."

I sighed, he didn't understand what I was trying to say,

"But what Harry? You love her for gods sake. You'll love her no matter what and she needs your support at a time like this. She always talks to me Harry, she always talks to you. Don't you even get it? She wants you to help her, she wants all of us to help her."

"Okay Niall."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me,

"Thanks. You're such a good friend for doing this you know."

I added,

"Naah, it's what friends are for."

"But really, it's three in the morning, thank you."

"It's really no problem, bye now mate."

"Night Nialler."




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