Last First Kiss [DISCONTINUED]

Drama, Love and One Direction, Hally has what every directioner could ever want, but is it all it's made up to be?


46. Ana



I didn't particularly mind Hally staying, I mean, I didn't care at all. Eleanor was staying with me so it was just as fair he had his fiance with him. 





I stared into the suitcase in which there was barely any clothes, a couple of white t-shirts, a pair of skinny jeans and a pair of converse, that was it. I noticed a screwed up piece of paper in the corner of Hally's suitcase which I just so happened to of been putting away a dress in at the time. I grabbed it and zipped up the tent, she was busy making breakfast and seeing as it was scrunched up, she probably didn't need it and was intending to chuck it back home. I opened it up to see a whole diary entry scribbled on both sides, I began to read.


Dear Diary,

I can't believe it's started again, the self harming that is, I've just got engaged with the most amazing man on earth and I am so in love with him that it hurts me to write this. Keeping a secret that big away from Harry would be almost impossible so he already knows but he doesn't know this secret. I've tried to hide it and nobody knows, not even Carol or Mum, I don't think I can keep it in much longer. Being anorexic is a huge secret to keep bunched up and it is practically killing me inside. All I wanted was to lose a couple of kilograms and have a gap between my thighs, I never wanted an addiction this strong. Weighing 10.2 stone felt horrible for me, everyone around me was so thin and the pressure was enormous, Harry doesn't even notice my illness, only the self harming. I'm so fat though, I weigh 7 stone and that needs to change, I need to eat less. I technically haven't eaten a thing as everything I've eaten, I've thrown up afterwards, binging and purging is so bad for me but I can't seem to help it now, it's a daily routine, just like brushing your teeth, as with the self harming. I love Harry so much that I feel I can't tell him, I don't want to bring him down as much as I am now. Ana is killing me and I can't stop her.

Hally xxx

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