Tonight's Cloudy Sky (Niall Horan Fan Fiction)

A very wise man once said that- when it came to life- you never knew what you were going to get. It's a sort of philosophy for Amelia, who's experienced her fair share of downs and is currently waiting for the ups. And when they finally do come to her... well, what goes up must come back down.
*WARNING- CURSING*

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21. Meant To Be

 

I woke up in my bed, a hint of red light peaking through my window curtains. It was eight in the morning according to my alarm clock. My head pounded slightly and when I lifted my arm to move the covers off my body, I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder. Shifting the sleeve out of the way, I saw a hideous bruise that covered most of the shoulder.

I could hardly remember what happened last night; I went to get ice cream at the store with Niall and…

“Holy shit!” I jumped out of bed in a panic and ran out into the hallway. Everything came flooding back- the shop and the paparazzi and everything that followed. Well, I was still a bit fuzzy on how we got away. Weren’t Meredith and Louis there?

Running loudly into the kitchen, I found, much to my surprise, a few more people than expected. And approximately five of them were not of the female gender.

Oh god, I’m in my pajamas.

“Sexaaay mama,” Meredith noticed me frozen in the middle of the hall and whistled. She held up a tub of ice cream that she was eating directly out of. “You want some crack?”

The boys turned around in their chairs when they realized that Meredith was talking to someone behind them. I was suddenly very uncomfortable having only a pair of short cotton shorts on and a shirt- which I now noticed was inside out. Meredith probably dressed me.

“Um,” I stepped forward slowly, trying to ignore the eyes I felt all over my half-naked body. Oh, how I would love a pair of baggy sweat pants right now. “So, what happened last night? I seem to not remember the end part.”

Niall hopped down from the bar stool, his eyes a bit red around the rims. “Amelia, I’m so sorry. I should have taken someone with us, it’s my entire fault and I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, Mr. Horan.” Louis stepped forward, his hands raised as he silenced Niall. “I seem to remember a certain blonde Irishman almost killing the pap who pushed Amelia to the ground. Thanks to you she didn’t get trampled! None of this was your fault.”

“But it is!” Niall grabbed fistfuls of his hair and scrunched up his face in anger. “Amelia almost got hurt because of me! I shouldn’t be here! It’s too dangerous!”

I had no idea how to react when Niall was escorted from the room by Liam and Louis, both of them talking to him in hushed voices.

Niall was going to leave?

My eyes filled with tears, my chin quivering uncontrollably and my mouth hanging open in shock. It was all over. He was leaving me.

“Oh my god, Amelia!” Meredith dumped the ice cream carton on the counter and ran over to me, followed closely by Mattie, Ariel and Janessa. “It’s going to be okay!”

I sat on the floor and stared at my lap, unable to utter a single word. Why me? It’s always me! Do I have some sort of sign on my forehead that says ‘get to know me and then leave me’? First my dad, and now Niall.

“It’ll be okay, sweetie.” Mattie rubbed my back and moved the hair away from my face. “Everything will be okay in the end.”

“Yeah, don’t worry.” Janessa nodded and Ariel sat down beside me.

Should I believe them? Or should I hole myself up again like I had when I was younger, abandoned by a father who didn’t love me.

“I can’t,” I clenched my teeth. “I don’t WANT TO anymore!” I slammed by palms to the wooden floor in frustration, surprising the girls.

“Nothing goes right! NOTHING! WHY SHOULD I EVEN TRY?! Huh? Answer me!”

I screamed at them, but they didn’t answer. They were speechless, just staring at me as I raged on.

“WHY does everyone HATE ME? What did I do to deserve this?! I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY, OKAY? That’s all I want! But no- everyone has to try and take that away from me! So you know what?” I stood up, my hands clenched tightly into fists. There was the sound of other footsteps coming closer, but I no longer cared. I was shaking all over, tears flowing freely down my cheers. My chest hurt and my heart was beating so fast. I don’t know why, but I just snapped. I let everything out. “You know what I’ve learned? After all this time! I DON’T DESERVE TO BE LOVED! Because everyone that I love gets taken away! They LEAVE! They all FUCKING LEAVE in the end! And it SUCKS! IT SUCKS!”

“Amelia, please!” Mattie stepped forward, her hand over her mouth.

“No,” I backed away from them all and spun around quickly. Sprinting as fast as I could, I charged for my room. It was my safe haven, the only place that even resembled home.

“Amelia?!” I heard Niall yell after me but I didn’t dare look back.

“Let her go!” Meredith cried to Niall, sending me into another fit of sobs.

He had to let me go. I was messed up; we were never going to work out. He doesn’t love me, and I shouldn’t love him. I had to face it- I was damaged, not fit for anyone. Nothing could be done to fix me.

I slammed by door shut and scurried back under my bed covers. Taking a deep, shaky breath, I buried my head in my hands and began to sing to myself.

“Someone holds me safe and warm; horses prance through a silver storm. Figures dancing gracefully across my memories. Far away, long ago, glowing dim as an ember, things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember.”

My heart slowed down a little and I opened my eyes to see the sun blazing through my windows. It was so beautiful out there; the people walking on the street probably had normal lives, filled with bills and an education and family. Then here I was- away from my family, surrounded only by friends that could up and leave me at any moment. All I want is someone constant in my life- someone who will love me like I was their own family. Someone who would promise to protect me.

There was a soft knock on the door and I sighed. “Go away, Mattie.”

“It’s Niall,” his voice was muffled, but I could hear pain in the way he talked. “I’d really like to talk to you.”

Hesitantly, I stood up and walked over to the door. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I’m a complete mess and he’s probably already decided that he never wants to see me again.

I stopped next to the door, my hand resting on the doorknob. “I don’t think I can look at you knowing what you’re about to say.”

“Look, Amelia, I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to leave you like your father. I like you- I really do. But if you want to take some time off, that’s alright with me. Just as long as you realize that I will always be waiting for you. Always. You are absolutely perfect to me. I love how you can recite quotes from superman comics. I love how you can come up with the most random and interesting questions. I love how you treat me like a person, not like a celebrity. And what I love most about you is the fact that you are able to get up every morning with that adorable smile of yours, even though so much has happened to you. You are so strong, Amelia- so strong- and it would be a privilege if you allowed me to be with you. So, I’ll wait as long as possible.”

“Niall,” I rested my forehead against the door. I wanted to swing this door open and kiss him, but I was too terrified. “Last night was horrible. I don’t think I would be able to do it.”

“Do what?”

“Be with you. With everyone constantly watching and hoping that you mess up! I wouldn’t be able to take it!” I held back cries of frustration. Why couldn’t Niall just be a normal boy who didn’t audition for X Factor? We could have been together without any worry.

“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s a lot to ask a person. But I think, together, we could do this.” His voice grew closer as if he came closer to the door.

“I don’t know…”

“It’ll be hard- I know that. But it won’t matter what people say because we’ll have each other. It could be us against the world, I swear. I promise I’ll always be here to protect you, Amelia.”

“I don’t want to lose another person I care about.”

Before I could react, the door swung open to reveal Niall standing in front of me. He looked completely wiped out and exhausted, and it was still before nine in the morning.

“You will never, ever, lose me.”

My heart fluttered as he stepped forward, a smile pulling at both of our lips. Niall wrapped his arms around my waist and I blushed at his sudden courage. I placed my arms around his shoulder, and smiled wider.

“And, if you’re up to it, I’d like to make us official. I want you to be my girlfriend.”

My heart, which had been pounding pretty heavily, stopped suddenly in my chest. Was he really saying this? My mouth opened in shock and I could hardly utter a word.

“We’ll keep it our secret, until we’re both ready.” He added, noticing my expression. I tried to nod or scream or just answer him softly, but I was absolutely still. “It’ll be our secret; we can let the boys and Mattie, Janessa, Ariel and Meredith in on it if you want- but only if you want to.”

Niall stepped closer, leaving no space between us. His eyes stared deeply into mine and I felt like my whole world was with him.

“This is our time, Amelia. Screw what the fans and public think. This is where I’m meant to be.”

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