The Food Fight

Something we had to do in English class but wanted to show you guys...


1. The Fight

I saw it in her eyes as she decided what she was going to do; the ultimate prank that would define her reputation here for good. Apparently I was the only one who noticed, as only my head quickly ducked down under the table as the first spoon of overly-salty mashed potato flew over my head, obviously aimed at me. From under my little defence under the table I heard the quiet gasps coming from all directions, as they too realised what was surely about to begin in the next couple of seconds. I got back up onto my chair and turned to see my friend covered in the mash potato meant for me. I had to struggle not to laugh at the shocked look that I could see on the parts of her face that weren’t smeared with the creamy, lukewarm sludge that I so narrowly missed avoiding. Well, I wasn’t going to go down without a fight, and since no one else seemed to be volunteering, I decided to put them out of their misery and stop the suspense. I nonchalantly picked up my fork and used it to spear a piece of what was possibly chicken, covered in cold, lumpy gravy that made my stomach turn just looking at. I could smell the stench of the two disgusting foods from here, so how long would the odour last on top of Susan’s head?

I’ve always been good at sports – no, not good, great. I can throw just about anything as far as it will go, and my aim’s perfect. Just the kind of assets I need at this crucial point in time. I stood up and got my target (Susan’s head) in sight and twisted my fork so that the end that stabbed the chicken was facing me. I bent the tip of it back and... squelch. Just like a fine art, it landed on top of the head of the girl who threw the mash potato at me – score! No one throws food at me and gets away with it.

Of course, that’s exactly when the food fight really started to kick off: at exactly the point when I was at my most vulnerable, standing up. This only took a mere second for me to realise in my head, but it still wasn’t quick enough. At the exact moment that I started to turn around to take cover, someone from behind me with expert aim threw a spoonful of mushy, over-cooked carrots, covered in the same lumpy gravy, at what would have been the back of my head – if I hadn’t turned around. I frantically cleared the carrots from my vision as I searched for the culprit, but didn’t have time to gather any suspects before a handful of the gooey mashed potato stuck itself to my arm like glue. I quickly ducked under the table before I could get myself caught in anymore of the crossfire, and peeked out from under it to analyse the situation...

Beth was grabbing any food she could find and throwing it in every direction – easy to take down. John was carefully choosing which food would have the most impact before chucking it at anyone who was within a few feet – he had a good aim but his time taken choosing his weapon of choice gave me the advantage. If I could take down these two, that would give me a direct path to Susan, my main enemy. Easy.

I jumped out from my cover under the table and ended up right in front of John, making him jump. While he was trying to recover from his surprise I swiftly picked up the mashed-potato-covered spoon he was holding in his hand and shoved it into his freckled-face.

I turned around to find Beth aiming a forkful of peas in my direction, and had to act fast: I picked up a tray from the nearest table and used it as a shield. The peas slammed into the tray and scattered off into different directions – harmless. I grabbed someone’s plate of food which they had abandoned in the commotion and tipped its contents onto the tray, then used it as a catapult to sling the disgusting food in Beth’s direction, covering her in the gravy that would probably permanently dye her pretty blonde hair a gross brown colour. I walked past her and came face to face with my sworn enemy.


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