Just an ordinary girl.....

Melissa Hart was a target......she never understood why...

This is my entry for the bullying competition. I am new to the site and still ' finding my feet' so any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Good luck everyone, there is some amazing talent on this site !

Update, it's 3. 41 a.m and I've just lost the 3rd chapter due to a technical hitch so I am risking using only 2 chapters. Not as I would have liked it but tiredness has won : (


2. Be my friend.......

Voices....blinding light......I struggled to focus. Why was I lying down?  And then I felt it. a searing pain between my legs.

"No ,God, no ! "  I tried to scream but a hand quickly clamped around my mouth. My eyes shot open, posters of boy bands, wallpaper with soft pink swirls of pattern, the pink lampshade with the cobweb hanging from. Damn that cobweb! Why hadn't I removed it?  I couldn't move, strong hands pinned me down as silent tears ran down my face. The pain, oh God the pain.... The corner of a strip of wallpaper ever so slightly parting from the wall.. mentally picking at it,  the ticking of the clock on the bedside table, " One, two , three, four, five...... my coping mechanism, like an old friend, rescuing me from reality.

And then it was over...... silent whispers and then jeers as the door opened and then they were gone. I lay for what seemed like hours, numb, unfeeling, curled into a foetal position, drifting in and out of sleep. The stench of vomit stung my nose. I lifted my head slowly from the pillow and realised that the vomit was mine. As if watching a mental jigsaw puzzle I was starting to piece together the horror that had befallen me. Lisa had arrived and played her part well, remorseful, the promise of a fresh start. We drank coke and ate popcorn, watched a dvd. She said her friends were calling to walk her home. I questioned nothing...... I felt happy for the first time in so long, happy, light headed, giggly. Lisa had persuaded me to try some vodka. " Just a little, no - one will know " she said, and not wanting to jeopardise this new found truce I had agreed. 

It was starting to get dark. I turned my head towards the clock. 8.30 pm. My parents would be back by 10. I was struggling with my thoughts. What should I do now?  Should I just stay curled in a ball until they arrived home? No! How could I let them see me like this? It would destroy them. My mind raced as I tried to make sense of everything. Why had Lisa turned on me once more? Why did she hate me so much? Why did she allow the boys into my house? Why did she do nothing as they......Nausea threatened to overwhelm me once more as I tried to say the word but even in my mind I couldn't and then suddenly I started to cry, big heaving sobs that shook my whole body and I felt like I would never stop.But I had to. I had to clean this mess up. I had to shower, isn't that what people did afterwards? Every movement I made felt like it was in slow motion. I didn't dare look down as I carefully prised myself up from the bed. I was scared, I was in denial. I just needed to forget it happened. I would feign sickness to avoid school. I needed time to think. I needed the safety of my shed, the cool sharp blades, but I was too weak. I just had to be grateful that it was over.


    " In an ordinary suburban semi a mile away a young girl sat on the edge of her bed desperately twisting the belt of her dressing gown. " 50 ,49, 48, 47, ". Heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs and then the door creaked  slowly open. 

                                      " Shh, Lisa, it's dad " ...............................................................................

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