Doubting Jealousy

This is my first post, hope you enjoy reading it. It's about a girl called Carla who doesn't know why she's getting bullied.


1. Doubting Jealousy


I didn’t want to go into school. I couldn’t go into school. The idea of facing her made my jam and toast breakfast desire escape from my stomach and right back on to my plate. I sat staring at the blank lime green walls of our kitchen and twiddled with my sun kissed hair. The tick tock of the clock was warning me that the time of having to go to school was lingering in the horizon of time. “Drink your juice Carla and hurry up sweetheart you’ll be late for the bus!” my mother’s sweet morning voice yawned.

 “I don’t feel well mum!” I mumbled.

“You ate all your breakfast Carla you’re going to school!” That was it, I had to go to school. Mum never changed her mind.


I stumbled down the stairs still half asleep. The baby had been crying all night and the bellowing had kept me awake. My stomach was so empty. I opened the kitchen cupboard. Hidden at the back of the desolate cupboard was a box of cornflakes. I reached out and grabbed it, looked inside…empty. My stomach made a loud grumbling noise, it was demanding to be fed. I shuffled over to the bread bin and opened it. Jack pot! One slice of bread, slightly stale but I needed to eat. I ate the bread with nothing on it, as there wasn’t anything to put on it. Even though the bread was dry and tasted of nothing, I ate it all. My beans and toast tea hadn’t filled me up the night before. Suddenly I caught sight of the time on the digital clock above our old T.V. It was gone eight, I’d missed the bus. Mum wouldn’t take me because the car was being repaired and if I missed another day of school I’d be kicked out. I’d just have to be late.


A huge sigh of relief escaped my mouth when I found that Liz wasn’t standing at the bus stop waiting to insult me in any way she could. I stopped nervously picking at the fibres of my dark woollen jumper and walked over to Lottie who was casually standing at the post that once had a bus timetable. Now no one knows when the bus comes because a few boys in the year above ripped it down. Lottie caught sight of me walking towards her with her sparkling sapphire eyes. “Morning” she yawned.

“Good morning” I chirped.

“Someone’s happy.” groaned Lottie. Lottie isn’t a morning person. She prefers long sleep-ins to being the ‘early bird’. Unfortunately for her she doesn’t get many sleep-ins as her five siblings keep her awake. There like her personal alarm clock. “Oh I know why you’re so happy, Little Miss Temperamental isn’t here!”

“I just hope she doesn’t turn up halfway through lesson one like last time!” I mumbled. The quiet whizz of cars on the road was replaced with a loud rumbling noise. The bus was here.


When I arrived at the bus stop it was desolate of the loud teenagers that wear my indigo blue uniform. The only person who stood at the bus stop was the batty old woman who lived a few doors down from me. I strode towards the bus stop post without a bus timetable and tried to stay as far away from the old woman as possible. She caught sight of me and gave me one if those sickly sweet smiles I hated. I smirked at her and turned away staring down the road waiting for rumbling sound of the bus. Grey clouds gathered above my head as if they were trying to show what mood I was in.  A crystal drop of rain dropped onto my nose and sent shivers down my spine. “Great” I groaned. It was going to rain and I didn’t have a coat.

“Aren’t you a bit late for school dear?” the batty old woman asked.

“No!” I protested.

“Oh, well how is your mother? Last time I saw her she was stumbling up the estate stairs drunk. What about that baby? Crying all the night the little dear is. I can hear him from my flat.” I could have growled. I didn’t want to hear this woman gabbling on.

“SHUT UP!” I cried.

“oh” the batty old woman gasped. Rain drops swiftly fell from the great clouds above me. Drops of water fell down my face, running my mascara and making me look like I had been crying. I kicked the puddle that surrounded my feet. It made a big sloshing sound and the murky brown puddle water seeped through my old, tattered school shoes. Then everything was silent apart from the pitter patter of raindrops. I wrapped my arms around myself trying to shield myself from the rain. Then I heard a great rumble and the slosh and splash of huge wheels hitting puddles. I looked up, finally the bus was here.


I was starting to think she wasn’t coming. I was starting to think that day of school would be a torture free day.

Raindrops ran down the classroom window as if they were dancing. I sat staring at them for a while, listening to the echo of teenager’s voices chatting about the weekend. There were constant tapping of pens, scraping of chairs against the rough, chewing gum stained carpet and giggles coming from the flirting girls. I just sat and stared outside, a smile started to appear on my face because I thought she wasn’t coming. Then the turquoise green classroom door swung open making a loud crash as it hit the vandalised wall. The chattering class of school children fell silent and my gradual smile disappeared. The dancing raindrops fell from the window as if the loud crash had scared them away. I looked away from the window towards where the monstrous girl stood. She was soaked from the rain, hair wet through, mascara running down her ghostly face. She was in a bad mood and it made the whole atmosphere in the room tense.  Her huge hands slammed the door shut and her terrifying eyes met mine. They were full of anger. It made me self-conscious. Then she snarled at me just as the school bell rang through the silent class room.  


I watched Miss Perfect shuffle out the classroom and meet her little Emo friend. I couldn’t stand her. Miss Brainy, Miss pretty, Miss Lovely. I stormed over to where she stood and wrapped my leg around hers making her fall to the blank tiled floor. She fell with a crash. A loud bang rang in my ears as all her nice new school books fell around her on the floor. Every one stopped and stared. I just looked down on her, a little heap on the floor, her sun kissed hair falling in her face. Her Emo friend ‘Lottie’ knelt beside her constantly asking if she was ok. I smirked then caught sight of Amy. “Hope you enjoyed your trip Carla” I snarled. Then I stepped over the heap on the floor and walked over to my slightly chubby, frizzy haired, fake best friend Amy.


“Are you ok?” Lottie was asking me. I did a little nod and slowly sat up. “Carla! Your nose!” I wiped my nose on the back of my hand. When I looked at it there was a large streak of scarlet on the back of my pale hand. The sight of blood made me feel sick.

“Urgh, I must of busted my nose when I hit the floor.”

“Here” Lottie handed me a tissue she had quickly pulled from her bag.


“I’ll get your books Carls.” Lottie set about collecting my books from the floor around me. A shadow suddenly shaded me. I looked up to see Liz towering over me and Amy next to her. Liz looked gigantic. “By the way. Don’t you dare tell anyone.” She growled. “Otherwise you’ll have far worse than that bloody nose” She stomped off with her frizzy haired friend tagging along behind her like a sheep.

“Seriously, what is her problem?” I whispered.


I hate lunch time. By this time of day I have a bad stomach ache from my poor breakfast. So I don’t look stupid I pretend I’m not hungry. No one knows I don’t have any dinner money. At dinner I tag along with Amy and hope she’ll give me half of her sandwich or anything to stop my stomach growling.

Amy and I were sitting in the dinner hall. She had a tuna sandwich; I hate tuna so even if Amy gave me half of her sandwich my stomach wouldn’t be satisfied. Then I caught sight of her. Happily sat with Miss Emo eating some pasta. My stomach growled. She had everything. It wasn’t fair that she was rich. That she gets everything she wants. That she can afford to buy lunch. “I’m just getting a drink” I said to Amy. Then I got up and headed towards the water fountain. I took hold of a plastic cup, filled it with shimmering liquid, stormed over to where Carla sat and tipped the liquid over her head, ruining her perfect hair and ruining her make up. I slammed the cup on the table, squished it with my fist and strode off with a smirk on my face. I knew everyone was looking at me. They were either laughing or wore a face full of disgust. Now me and perfect little Carls were equals. We both got caught in the rain, even if she got caught in the rain deliberately.


I hunched over the gloomy grey dinner table in the canteen and let crystal drops of water slide off my drenched hair onto my damp face. I was put off my ham and mushroom pasta as half of the shimmering liquid that was chucked over me had landed in my lunch and I didn’t really like soggy food.

I knew all eyes in the canteen were staring at me, some full of sorrow, some full of laughter. It depends whose side they were on, mine or Liz’s. “Carls! You have to tell a teacher before things get worse than a busted nose and a face full of water!” Lottie said sympathetically while handing me a paper towel to mop myself up with. I sat and stared at the plastic cup that Big Bully Liz had threateningly crushed in front of my ghostly face.   “Carls.” I heard Lottie’s concerned voice whisper. “Carls tell someone!”. Then I snapped out of it.

“No Lottie. I can’t tell someone! I can’t tell anyone because if I do I’ll still have far worse than a busted nose, I’ll probably have a few broken bones too! No one does anything to try and stop this, No one cares about me being hurt. So I won’t tell anyone. They watch me being ridiculed and don’t do anything!” I pushed my chair back. I pushed my chair back. There was a loud echo of the chair scraping across the tiled floor as the room had fallen so silent you would be able to hear a pin drop. I stormed out the room. I hastily grabbed my bag from the chewing gum stained social area floor and slung it over my right shoulder. My eyes then searched the sea of school bags for my P.E kit but I couldn’t find it anywhere in the blanket of colours of different bags. “Looking for something?” I swiftly turned around to see Liz laughing at me. She had taken my P.E bag. I’d had enough. I stormed past her to the toilets; tears were starting to spill from my eyes. People watched me push past them while I desperately wiped the tears on the back of my jumper’s sleeve. Rough against my cheek the wool absorbed my moisture.

When I reached the girls toilets they were empty. I ran over to the sink and grabbed the sides. Tears spilled down my cheeks and I let out substantial sobs that bounced of the vandalised light punk walls. It sounded like there was more than one person crying. There was more than one person crying. I stopped the sobbing and silently listened to someone else’s sobs while tears still slid down my face. A toilet door unlocked and the secret sober appeared. “Amy?” I stared into the face of my worst enemy’s best friend. Her face was puffy and it was clear that she had been crying. Amy brushed her frizzy auburn hair behind her ear and let out a sniffle.

“I’m sorry for being mean to you Carla” she cried

“What? Erm ok, well it wasn’t really you it was-“

“Liz, yeah” she mumbled.

“Are you ok?” I asked. Amy let out a deep sight then said “Liz, I hate her. She, she called me fat and pulled my hair. She took my dinner money. She wasn’t my friend, she just used me.” Amy was distraught.

“Hmm, I think it’s about time we teach her a lesson.”


My stomach had really been starting to hurt. The grumbles coming from it were great roars of thunder and people kept staring at me. I used the dinner money I stole from Amy to buy a chocolate bar. At least my stomach was half full now, or half empty.

I wouldn’t get in trouble for not bringing a P.E kit this week. When I saw Carla’s P.E bag lying on the floor. I saw it as an opportunity and took it, storing it away in my locker.


“I don’t have my P.E kit miss” I mumbled under my breath.

“Carla! Why don’t you have your P.E kit?” my P.E teacher asked.

“Erm, I left it at home.” I whispered.

“Borrow some from lost property.”

I pulled the sweat smelled, tinged white polo shirt over my head. I really didn’t want to do P.E today. I heard the loud chatting about what happened to me at lunch and sighed. Amy appeared behind me. “After school, yeah?” she asked me in  a whisper. I nodded. “yeah, We’ll surprise her. Make her see what it’s like to be bullied.” I smirked. Then the monster walked through the changing room doors. My P.E kit looked huge on Liz. She had to be anorexic. When the terrorising girl caught sight of Amy and me she laughed, “Thanks for the money Amy, thanks for lending me your P.E kit Carls.” I decided to play along. “Oh your welcome Liz” I smiled at her and she slumped away confused.


I roamed alone after P.E. Confused thoughts whizzed around my head. Why had little Carls been nice to me? Well she was Little Miss Perfect. I was feeling ill and even though my stomach was empty I thought I was going to puke. “Hey Liz!” someone shouted. I quickly turned around to find perfect Carls and my ex-fake best friend, frizzy haired Amy. “Oh hello Carly. Got a new friend. Did the Emo suddenly find sense to leave you?”

“Leave Amy alone and her name’s Lottie!” Carla snapped.

“Oooh, you decided to fight back!” I snarled.

“As a matter of fact, yes! We’ve had enough of you! You only insult us because your jealous!” Carla edged closer towards me and she suddenly seemed very intimidating. I didn’t know what to say. My stomach growled.

“Oh, I guess that would be because of the anorexia!” Carla snarled. That hurt my feelings. It wasn’t my fault we didn’t have a lot of money to buy lots of food. I suddenly felt light headed, everything blacked out and the next thing I knew I was on the floor.

When I arose I was in the medical room. To my surprise Amy, Carla and Lottie were there too. “Are you ok?” Carla asked.

“What do you care?” I groaned.

“You fainted.” Carla said sounding concerned.


“Look I’m trying to be nice!” she said sternly.

“Why did you faint?” Amy asked.

“Probably because of her anorexia.” Carla mumbled.

“I’m not anorexic! Because of the baby we don’t have enough money to feed all of us. Dad’s left us so we are on benefits! Happy now you know the truth?”

“Oh” Carla gasped.

“Look I guess I bully people one, to take out my anger and two, make people scared of me so I won’t be bullied. I’m jealous of you guys. That’s why I pick on you!” I cried. Tears started to run down my cheeks like little streams. I couldn’t believe I was letting them see me cry.  My head fell into in my hands. To my surprise an arm slid around my shoulders.

“Why don’t you try making friends?”

“Real ones!” Amy triumphed.

“Who would want to be friends with me?” my voice was muffled.

“We will!” shouted Carla. I shot my head up and looked at her like a dumb puppy dog. “Really?” I whispered.



Liz turned out to be a great friend. She was much better as a friend than she was as the school bully. Who would ever think we would end up being close friends?

School turned from being a torture chamber to a place I loved to be. Liz, Lottie, Amy and I set up an anti-bullying campaign. A place people can come talk to us at lunchtimes if they’re being bullied and we offer help and support. I hope that there can be more things like this in school but most of all I hope the bullying stops. When I was being bullied I was a completely different person. Bullying can destroy a person if it’s physical or name calling. Sometimes the pressure of bullying can lead to self-harm. Luckily we did something before things got worse. We still should have told someone. If I ever got bullied again I would tell someone pronto and make the bullying stop.

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