Chimera

Dreams, do they exist only when we sleep, or are they right here in our world. To Ethan, the world is slow, torturing, nightmare, and his only escape is when he is sleeping, enjoying the fool's paradise. What if dreaming starts to become your reality? And what if reality, just becomes a dream.

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2. Reawakening.

Chapter 2,

 Reawakening

 

 

 

            So I guess I’m dead, huh? Never thought I would go out like that- well, I guess I’ve never thought how I would die actually. The end never crossed my mind; I was too busy complaining of how crappy everything is around me to even think of few weeks into my future, let alone a few seconds. I guess a part of me thought I would never have to face death, but now I’m here and there is nothing else to think about. Talking about “here”, where the hell am I?

            My vision is filled with only darkness, and I have no sense of my body. It feels like I just am- like only my conscious is the only thing relevant left of me. Am I in some sort of weird purgatory or nirvana? I wonder if I’m being judged by the people upstairs, deciding if I should go to heaven or hell. I don’t presume I particularly deserve to go to hell, but I haven’t been that much of a saint myself either, nor have I even gone to church since I lived with my grandma. I don’t know.

            Maybe Christianity and all those other religions are all wrong, and all that happens when you die is you get trapped within your mind, stuck to forever think to yourself. I wouldn’t mind that. I’ve been doing that every single day of life, and even now just existing here and thinking is so relaxing and natural. Perhaps this is my heaven, and I’ve been awarded the one and only true thing I have loved.

            Ugh, I just reminded myself of her. Why did that have to be my last moments alive? She should have never stopped me the first time when I was walking down the street; that way, I could have gone out listening to my favorite music. Now, I’m stuck here with this disgusting feeling. No this isn’t heaven this is hell, forever trapped thinking about her. I wish I had my music right now to block out even my own conscience.

            I’m going to miss music; the slow openings, the uprising rifts, and then the heart pounding climaxes. I’ll never be able to listen to it again, that’s a pretty saddening feeling. I’ll also never to get sleep in my comfy-ass bed; I wonder if that means I can’t dream anymore? Can I even sleep? This is truly becoming more and more like hell. I suppose I could just imagine some cool reality, but it won’t be the same…

            There’s a lot I’m leaving behind, like my dad; oh no, my dad…I hope he gets through this alright. Seeing how disturbed he was from my mom’s passing, I can only imagine how he’s going to react now that is son is dead as well. I really hope he handles himself, or should I be praying instead; will they even hear me, or him? Her? It? Whatever, as long as my dad will be okay, I’ll pray to whoever wants it.

            You know, I think he’ll get over it, he’s a strong man. It will be hard- I can only imagine- but I think he can do it. Then he will forget about me and move on in his endeavors; maybe make a huge change in his life and go back to being an architect. That would be cool. All he has to do is forget about me…just thinking that feels pretty depressing too.

            Eventually, when my dad dies as well, I’ll be completely forgotten, as if I never even existed. Maybe I’ll be remembered as the kid who got hit in front of the cinemas. Just some quick, sad story you can tell your friends as you go to see a movie. Nat, Zack, Dylan, and even Vince will remember me for sure, but do I want them to? Of course I do…what am I saying? I hope or pray my death doesn’t mess with their lives; the funeral and the mourning are already going to be such inconveniences for them.

            Natalie might have to get some therapy session, considering she saw the guy she loved ran over before her eyes, and she’ll definitely blame herself. Zack may become a more serious and dull guy, looking at life as not a game anymore, and no doubt he’ll blame himself too. Vince and Dylan were never that close to me, so I’ll just be that kid they knew who died a long time ago. They’ll tell it to their friends and kids, and they will act sad but then go right back to whatever they were doing.

            That’s about everyone that my death will affect, besides, maybe, my grandma, but she so old she’s use to death. She will cry and mourn, but learn to live with it pretty easily. Hopefully, my dad will do the same.

            Once all those people are dead, all six of them, I’ll disappear from reality. I was never special, nor was I going to do anything to be remembered for the ages. The sad fact that I will be completely erased from the world was coming to me. I never thought about it, but I knew that it would happen eventually- just not so soon…I don’t think I’m ready to die.

            I want at least a few more people to keep me in their memories, preserving my life a little bit longer. Maybe a few more friends or neighbors, or even a wife and kids…That would have been kind of cool. Kids, that’s one way to cement my existence for eternity. With them I would know my sad and pathetic legacy could grow into something more. They could have even done something to get themselves remembered across centuries, becoming something I never was.

            I want to live. I don’t want to be trapped her thinking of what ifs or could have been’s. Rah! I don’t want this! I want- I want so much…but now I’m stuck wherever the hell this is. Do I deserve this? Why should I be put through this punishment? Why?  

…It feels like hours have passed and all I have done is mope in my sorrow; like there’s anything else I can do. All I see is pitch black! I am going to go insane if someone doesn’t give me some clarity. Hold on, if I can see black, then that should I mean I can still see. Blind people don’t see black, they see nothing, and, for a lack of a better word, I can clearly see black. That is something.

I must be somewhere, but where? I can’t move my eyes though, but maybe I lost all feeling like with my body. I’m not even breathing or blinking, and now that I’m thinking about it, it’s starting to bother me. Ugh! I want to scream as loud as I can! Please, someone, anyone, let me out! Raaa-, “-aaaaahhh!” What?! Did I just yell? Ahhhh! Come on. Aaa-, “aaaaaaaahhhh!” Yes I’m yelling and it feels so good. “Aaaahhhhh!” This feels amazing! I never thought yelling could feel so powerful.

            “Let me out!” For the next, seemingly hours, I continued screaming until my throat felt like it was bleeding. I can feel pain, and the irony in that is it’s a good sign that I can. That has to mean I am still somewhat intact, right? Screaming isn’t getting me anywhere. I need to change my tactics. If I try to move my limbs like I forced myself to scream, there’s a chance I can regain control. But this is feeling useless, seeing how I have no clue where to start. With yelling, I could already do it in my head, and then it exploded outwards.

            I just want out, please…Hold on, a light is starting appear in front of me?! What the hell is that? It’s like an orb floating across my vision, filled with light. There’s another one, following right after the first orb, and another. What is going on here? Now it is like a waterfall of white, bright orbs flowing down one after another. I think I have finally gone insane.

            A weird tension is beginning to overcome me, as if the orbs had some gravitational pull. It feels so unnatural, but I think I’m moving with them. Nothing in my line of sight has changed, except a different pattern of orbs flowing by, but I can definitely feel the motion of being pulled downwards.

            Suddenly, a tremor emanated throughout my body starting from my feet. I think I landed on something. Hold-up, I can move! I can actually move! I still can’t really see anything, other than the bright orbs, but screw it! I can move! All the numbness slowly became feeling; it feels like when your arm goes to sleep, and it gradually regains its sensitivity.

            The gravity felt so new and fresh, and getting a handle on it is weird, but as I stumbled around a bit, I managed to get the hang of it. Even blinking and breathing came back to me. I’ll be sure to never take advantage of you again. Taking in air for a few seconds, I noticed that it smelled, or felt, purified if I have to describe it. I can’t say for sure, but the air isn’t right.

 I moved my eyes around to get a better idea of where I am, but all I see still is those glowing orbs floating down. The orbs stretched out everywhere, giving the slight illusion that it was snowing. I walked in a random direction to see if it ever ended, but by the looks of it, that’s all that exist in this place. Even trying to grab or feel the orbs seemed useless as my hand phased through it like if it wasn’t even there. What was probably the weirdest part of them was they don’t illuminate this place, the orbs only light themselves, like this place is too dark for anything to shine pass it.

I followed one orb down to see where it will disappear to exactly, but as it when down to the ground, it went through the floor without any hesitation. I stretched my hand down to examine the floor, but I’m getting this disturbing sensation in the back of my head of hysteria. There is no explaining this but the further my hand gets closer to the floor, the more intense my hand started to shake, and my body started to sweat. Turning back is the optimal solution, but I’ve lost control of body again; at least this time I can still feel everything, or is that a bad thing?

I have no depth perception right, so I can’t tell how close or how far I am; all I have to work with is how fearful my whole body is getting. What is so bad about the ground that my whole body shuts down subconsciously like this?

Finally, my hand made it to the bottom, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. The floor felt like liquid when you lightly touch the top of water, or like feeling the top of Jell-O. This isn’t so bad, in fact, this feels pretty awesome. I tried pushing through the floor, but oddly enough, it didn’t bend or warp in the slightest. I’ve never seen, felt, or thought of something like this; the floor is both liquid and solid. What the hell?

I pulled my hand up, but I think it’s stuck. I tried using more force, but my hand will not budge. The liquid seems to have attached itself to me. Alright, this is a good reason for my body to go into a panic. Grabbing my right arm with my left, I went for another pull, managing to lift it up a bit, but quickly after I lost my leverage, my arm snapped back to the ground. The force of the pull-back caused my whole body to tumble over, getting my left leg joined to the ground as well. I could hear my heartbeat loud and clear thumping against my rib cage.

My right foot was still upright, so I hope whatever science this place goes by hasn’t allowed it to stick to the floor as well. But by shifting my foot around as much as I could, I quickly learned it has too. I feel like a statue right, fixated in some artsy pose.

Getting out of this looks to be close to impossible, but it’s my internal instincts that will continue to fight out of this. The only free limb that I had was my left arm, so I grabbed my right once again using every bit of strength I could conjure to pull it out, but without my lower body I have a lot less leverage than I had beforehand.

The cold floor felt even colder as it started to overgrow my hand. This is making me panic, and I’ve lost all sensible control to get out of this, so I started jerking and pulling my whole body like a rabid animal. The gross feeling of the liquid floor slithered its way up my arm, as did everywhere else I was connected to the ground at. I was being consumed by the floor, and freaking out wasn’t helping, but it was the only natural response I have.

            As the liquid devoured me by each passing second, I can tell I am being pulled further and further into this thing. Eventually, only my face was left to be succumbed, but I will continue to fight until there is nothing left of me. As my face met the floor, and the disgusting feeling of the weird liquid attached itself to me, there was a weird gravitational shift I could feel in my stomach. That doesn’t matter now, none of it does because I think this is the end for me, or maybe there’s just another form of torture on the other side of this thing.

            Everything shifted to black again, not that it was different from before, but now there isn’t even any orbs. I could feel the liquid aligned to my body perfectly in every crevasse of my body. The liquid seem to solidify a little more as it is feeling more slime-like now. I could breathe still, but it felt hot and stuffy- actually my whole body was heating up inside here.

Slowly, pressure was pressed against my back very lightly, and gravity pressed down on me from above. Somehow, going downwards through the floor made me end upwards on the other side. The slime slithered off my body and the cool air could be felt instantly as it lifted off of me. It started to peel off down by my legs first and made its way up to my face. This was some sick and weird reversal role of present, but it gave the same feelings of being excited to unwrap it; I was also nervous though, terrified even to what I might witness when this thing comes off.

            My eyes were finally unraveled, and the light around me shined so intensely, blinding me like a newborn child. The light seems so foreign to me now, but it brought out a smile from me, even though I can’t even tell what I’m looking at. I sat up and rubbed my eyes furiously, trying to regain my vision.

As I’m sitting here looking like an adolescent crying and rubbing his eyes, I had some to think. None of this makes any sense, and I have no clue what is going on or what is to come, but I have to say, this is already more exciting than anything I have ever done. You could ridicule me about how panicked I just was or how I could die within the next few seconds, but nothing has ever gotten my heart pumping so fast.

I kept my hands cupped over my eyes, and I noticed I could see the lines on my hands clearly. I can see again! But I’m unsure if I want remove my hands. Sitting here is not going to get my anywhere though, so I slid my hands very slowly off of my face. The bright light that was everywhere seemingly was still a little hard for me to handle, but little by little I managed to get a full spectacle of what was around me.

First, I saw the illuminated ground that I was one; it was like sitting on top of the biggest search light ever made. This whole platform was circular and was floating over nothing but a dark abyss.  The floor was made of stained-glass and had a design of the light being emanated down, pushing grotesque looking creatures underneath black water. The monsters I should say looked like a bunch of animals squished together in disturbing ways. They looked sad actually and had the same black water oozing from their eyes and wounds they had on them. Now that I look closer, it seems more like blood than water, but it was pitch black.

            As I lifted up my head, I saw a massive obelisk standing before me. I nearly flew back in how startled I was, but I quickly gained my composer back. And I didn’t say obelisk to express how big it was, no I mean this thing really is an obelisk. I honestly have no idea how I didn’t notice it sooner. It was about twenty feet away from me and sat at the edge of this platform, staring me down like an ant. The whole column was black and had thousands of different symbols on it, all imprinted in gold. Not a single symbol made any sense except the one at the very top. It was obviously an eye, and somehow, whoever made this managed to create some perspective illusions and made it look like the eye was staring down at me from way up. The eyes weren’t heavily detailed or anything, simply a circle within an oval, but it was still creeping me out.

            I got up on my feet, turning around to see what else there was, but it as empty as everything else was here. I stood at the far edge of the platform, parallel to the obelisk that stood before me. I stared at the eye and I couldn’t turn away from it; it was so mesmerizing, and I don’t have the slightest clue why. Orbs started to appear in my peripherals and broke my concentration away from the obelisk.

            I am slightly happy to see them again, but something was different about them. Instead of flowing down in a random sort, they were spiraling upwards, using this platform as a center. There is so many of them that it is starting to look like a white wall, and I could barely see the darkness that was on the other side of it.

            As I was examining the orbs, I was abruptly pulled to my hands and knees. “What the hell…” I accidently muttered out loud. I had zero control of my body once more; this is starting to really piss me off. “Kill the ancients, and return home” Not a voice, but words popped in my head, and I think they’re speaking to me. “Kill the ancients, and return home, do you understand?” I have no clue how I should respond to them; is this my own paranoia or am I really being spoken to. “Do you understand?”

            “W-what are the a-ancients?” I hope I’m not just talking to myself, and what does it mean by ancients? But seconds passed and there was no response; maybe I am hallucinating. “Yes or no?” The words popped back into my head, and they sound angry and inpatient, but I don’t know how I can tell.

            This anonymous existence is not giving much for me to go on, but it is saying I can go home, so long I kill the “ancients”. That would be amazing if I could go home, and I could have another chance to make things better. But what if this thing is lying to me or this task is too hard…no, I want to go home and see my dad again, and continue to be alive. “Yes! As long as I can go home after this, my answer is yes!”

            “Ahhhhhhh!” Every last air in me was forced out in a yell as an unbearable pain was stinging into the back of my neck. I can smell my flesh is being burned, but I still can’t look up to see what the cause is. After seconds of skin burning pain was over, the floor underneath me vanished without a sign. I quickly scampered for anything solid to grab onto, but all that is left is the dark abyss that I was being swallowed into. I looked up only to see the orbs still spiraling on their path, but as I continued deeper, the orbs left my vision.

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