My sister and me.

Courtney and Marie are Twins, identical in all but their personalities, one confident and clever, the other, Shy and smart. When the girls where 13 Courtney was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia, and her sister Marie was a perfect Match, with everything, but how could you use a child like that? Slowly saving her sisters life, but, killing her own. At the time of Courtney's diagnosis her mother was heavily pregnant, her stress levels went through the roof, and the babies were born prematurely. Seeing the state of her family, Marie stepped in as a donor for her sister, but has time run out?

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4. Courtney.

"Are you awake?" I ask. 

Its 9 o'clock at night, I can't sleep. 

"I am now, are you?" Comes the muffled reply.

I know I shouldn't wake her, but, its awfully lonely.

"No." I answer, I hear her laugh, how I will miss her laugh.

"Do you need anything?" She says. "Are you in pain?"

Ignoring, the scarlet fountain, pouring from my nose I answer.

"No, I am fine. Hows school?" I ask.

She studies the question, I can hear her breathing, on the other side of our room.

"You sure your okay?" 

Its my turn to laugh now, I can just see her pearl white teeth in the darkened room as her mouth spreads into a smile.

"I am fine, and before you say it, yes I know I sound just like mum."

We laugh together. How I will miss this.

"Schools fine. Miss Broad thinks you are coming back next year. It was mums fault before you blame me. She thinks you will be better." She says.

The room falls silent. The question lingers on her lips.

"I hope I will be better too." I say.

She smiles again, before yawning and letting her head hit the pillow.

"I hope so as well, everything, is much better with you in it..." 

Her words trail off as she slips into sleep, tears flood my eyes, I cannot cry here. I grab my mobile and creep into the bathroom. 

When in their, I lock the door dry my tears, and wipe away the now dry blood from my nose, I take 2 of my pills and load the recorder on my phone, then hit the red button.

"Nose bleed 127, Marie doesn't know and, I am not going to be the one to tell her ; For the past five possibly ten minutes I have spoken with her, and, it felt right, that if I should die anywhere, it would be in our room, with her arms around me." I say into the microphone.

I walk into Isaac and Marah's room, they are laying in the crib, so it is easy for me to talk to both of them at the same time.

"My little brother and sister, If they never get to officially meet me, tell them I love them, I will always remember them and if they don't remember me, it doesn't matter. They don't have too, it is me who must remember them."

Isaac's eyes open, and he looks at me, with a questioning glance. forgetting the recorder is still on, I speak to him.

"I have every faith yo will remember me, little man, you have Marie's eyes, I hope she will tell you about me." 

His brown eyes shut again, and, his hand curled around my thumb, I spend five minutes holding Isaac and five minutes with Marah. I turn off their night light, and, picking up my phone walk into my parents room. Speaking quietly, I talk again.

"They don't know enough about me, and, they truly believe, I will live, I can only hope they are right. I do not have much faith in hope anymore, but maybe God will let me into heaven? If he doesn't, I don't mind I will have enough good memories to fight the fires of hell. What am I saying? I love you two thanks for putting up with me."

I kiss each of their cheeks and creep back into my own room and own bed. Marie's even breathing suggests she is asleep.

"Thank you Marie. For everything."

Tears well up in my eyes ; I am fighting to get my words out.

"If I should die, please don't blame your self.......................If I should die, at my funeral, you know what poem to read."

I am crying into my pillow, muffling my sobs as best I can.

"It always seemed like your room. You spent more time here than I ever did,"

I get up and walk around, picking up ornaments and photos, homework, school books etc.

"However, not one of the items in this room is entirely yours, every memory you keep involves me in some way. You always had time to be the little sister, I guess now it is my turn, wherever I am going, hopefully, our Jessie will be their and, I can have a go at playing little sister."

I smile as I remember playing with our dolls as children and, I always had to be the mum as I was the oldest.

"I love you Marie, and,"

I choke on my last few words.

"and, I always will."

I put my phone down, then, climbed back into bed, pulling the duvet over my head and, crying passionately for around an hour before finally falling to sleep.

I wake up sometime later, and, Marie's arms are wrapped around me, her pj's form a thin barrier between us, but still her body heat warms me, I can hear the thumping of her heart in my ears, and, the brush of her breath past my cheek. I feel like crying again.

"Thank you, for making my wishes come true." I whisper into the darkness.

Then I close my eyes, taking hold of my sisters hand and falling asleep with a smile on my face. 

 

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