How could your best friend in the whole wide world, also be the love of your life? How could they be the person that makes your heart stop beating for a second every time they look into your eyes?

"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us." -The Wonder Years


12. Forgive me

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.”
― Jess C. Scott

Monday morning. I'd been dreading this day all weekend. I hadn't spoken to Ricky since Saturday when everything happened. Yesterday i just spent it at home, i needed to be alone for a bit. Josh and Shaun kept texting me for most of the day though, which i appreciated. I still hadn't told Josh, i didn't want too. I knew Shaun was right, that Josh would want to know. I would tell him, eventually. But he is the only person i never wanted to disappoint. I was thinking about Josh and how he would react when my alarm made me jump. Then the realization kicked in that i had to face Ricky today. I bet he even told all of his friends about it. I really didn't want to go to school. But at least i had two great friends to spend it with.

As always, i met Josh when i got off the bus with him. We spoke all the way too school until we stepped into the playground and i had to take a deep breath. I peered over to where Ricky usually stood and he wasn't there. I relaxed a bit more and we walked over to meet Shaun. We stood there talking for a while and i felt a bit more like myself. They definately managed to cheer me up. That's what friends are for.

When the bell went i said bye to Shaun, then me and Josh started walking to form. As i looked up i saw Ricky at his locker talking to a mate, but then he looked at me. I quickly diverted my eyes and hurried past him. Luckily he didn't come over and talk to me.

"Ricky was there, why didn't you go speak to him?" Josh asked confused.

"Oh, was he?" I shrugged my shoulders and carried on pretending like i hadn't seen him. Josh didn't ask anymore and we just headed into class.




"I don't really like burgers" Josh sighed as we sat down to our table for lunch. Me and Shaun looked at each other.

"Then why did you buy one?" I laughed and Josh just shrugged his shoulders. For some reason we all got onto the topic of talking about burgers so i was far to distracted to notice what was going on around me. After a while Shaun said my name and nodded behind me. As i looked their was Ricky stood there and he came and took the seat next to me.

"Babe, i think we need to talk, don't you?" He said quietly to me whilst he went into kiss me. I jumped away from him as quick as i could. I couldn't believe him. Without another thought i got up and hurried out the canteen and i heard Ricky follow me. I knew Josh would be sat their trying to figure out whats going on.




(Josh's P.O.V.)

I knew he'd hurt her. I knew he would some way. I didn't know how but i sure as hell wanted to know. I did think it seemed strange when she blanked him this morning.

"Do you know whats happened with them two?" I asked Shaun he just shook his head. I had a feeling he did know but i didn't question it any further, my head was on overload on what possibly could have happened. I wanted to go chase after her, go and comfort her because she looked as she was about to break down in tears but Shaun told me to leave it. I guess he was right.




I ran into the girls toliets, thankfully their was no one in their and i locked myself into a cubicle. I heard Ricky open the door and come to my cubicle. I came in here to get away from him. I didn't think he'd come into the girls toliets.

"Baby, please" he hushed. It wasn't right that i still got butterflies from him calling me that name. "Mace, i really need to talk to you."

"Talk then" i said harshly but i knew he could tell i was upset.

"To your face, not a door" he said. I didn't want to have to look into his eyes. I sighed and unlocked the door, whilst trying to wipe any tears or smudged eyeliner. "That's better" he grinned.

"Talk then" i repeated. I wasn't upset now, i was mad.

"I am so sorry for what i did." I rolled my eyes. "I'm not just saying this Maci. At the time, i obviously thought that it was okay because you're my girlfriend but looking back i was so wrong. I wish i could take it back. I promised that i would never hurt you and i have done. It kills me to know that. I mean look at you, look at what i've done to you. The way you blanked me this morning and pushed me away just then, it hurt me so fucking much. I never want you to do that again, even though i deserved it. And i haven't been ignoring you, i just thought you needed some space. You were so right. I should have waited until you were comfortable to do something like that and i am so sorry for that. I know i've done a mistake but i am not going to give up trying to get you back, no matter how much you hate me. But i really hope you can at least start forgiving me and let me try and make it up to you. I do love you baby."

I was stood at the sink looking at him through the mirror. He walked up to me from behind. He brushed my hair and gently kissed my neck. He whispered in my ear 'sorry' and then walked out.


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