Amity

How could your best friend in the whole wide world, also be the love of your life? How could they be the person that makes your heart stop beating for a second every time they look into your eyes?

"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us." -The Wonder Years


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13. Decisions

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
-A.A.Milne, Winnie the Pooh

 

I wiped away the black smudges under my eyes and walked out the toilets. I made my way back into the canteen to find Josh and Shaun. When i sat back down in my seat both stopped their conversation and stared at me. Silence.

"Well?" Josh questioned.

"Well what?" I looked at him quickly but i didn't want him to look into my red, puffy eyes.

"Are you not going to tell us what the hell just happened?" Josh said irritated.

"It's nothing, chill" I forced a smile and it went quiet again before Shaun tried to salvage a conversation. 

"Did anyone hear abou-"

"No, no, wait, what the hell has he done Mace? Tell me" Josh interrupted Shaun and continued staring at me, he was mad. Shaun looked at me and smiled sympathetically whilst i sat their playing with my fingers. I remained silent and Josh thrust his chair backwards and stood up.

"Well I'll find out for myself" he stormed off as i shouted for him to come back. Me and Shaun quickly grabbed our things and rushed off to follow Josh. He was going to find Ricky. It was my worst nightmare coming true. We couldn't catch up to him until we were on the playground and he had stopped, looking around for Ricky.

"Where is that son of a bitch?" Josh spat.

"Josh stop, he hasn't done anything!" I shouted and he looked at me before pulling his eyes to something or someone behind me. He walked past me and i grabbed him trying to pull him back but he shrugged me off. Ricky was their with a couple of his mates as all of us approached him.

"What the hell did you do to her?! Josh shouted at him.

"What?" Ricky said confused. People had started to gather around now.

"Clearly you've done something to upset her, what is it?!"

"Josh, leave it" i warned.

"Listen pal, it has nothing to do with you so back off, alright?" Ricky smirked and Josh pushed him up against the wall with his fists clenching his top. I'd never seen Ricky so scared nor Josh so angry. I ran up trying to pull Josh away from him saying 'stop' repeatedly. Eventually Josh let go, gave Ricky a dirty look then walked away. I looked at Ricky who was adjusting his shirt and trying to regain some dignity.

I wanted to go find Josh, wherever he was with Shaun. But quite frankly i was a little angry at him. I know he cares about me but he was out of line doing what he did. I didn't know what too do.

 

~

 

A few days had passed and i hadn't spoken to Josh or Ricky. However, Ricky hadn't stopped pestering me with texts, calls, inboxes.. any way of communication. I had ignored all of them. All i wanted was one text, call or inbox from Josh. But i hadn't. I wanted to see how he was, but i didn't know how he felt and it absolutely sucked.

"Has Josh mentioned anything about me?"

"No not really" Shaun said as we browsed the sale section in Blue. I sighed a little. "You spoken to Ricky?" I shook my head. "Do you want too?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know what to do Shaun" i linked my arm in his as we walked out the shop with no purchases.

"How so?"

"I mean, i want to tell Josh what happened but i just can't and i don't want to make him even more angry. Then there's Ricky, i think he's sorry and I'm still in love with him. How can everything in life just turn upside down?" I rested my head on his shoulder and he kissed the tip of my head.

"Do you want my advice?" I nodded. "What will make you happy?" I pondered for a while.

"For everything to go back to how they where last week."

"Then make that happen." I looked at him.

"How? Josh is annoyed at me, he hates Ricky and if I take him back, how do i know he isn't going to do something worse?"

"I think he's sorry Mace, i think he wouldn't do it again and mainly because he's frightened of what Josh will do to him" he chuckled. "As for Josh, he'll come around I'm sure but i think you do need to tell him, he is your best friend." Shaun is always right. "Now, lets eat, I'm starving!"

 

~

 

I laid awake in bed that night thinking about everything. Shaun was right in some ways, but it was my decision. Maybe i could get things back to how they were. Just maybe.

The next morning i hopped onto my usual bus into town. I got off, walked the route i knew so well to the front door.

I sighed and knocked. He opened it with an instant smile on his face and i followed him in.

 

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